


Rabbit By His Side

by Rhymefire



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, The Secret World, secret world legends
Genre: Crack Fic, Dragons, Dreamers, Estranged Families, Eventual Sex, F/M, Forgotten Ones, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Spirits, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why? Because fuck you that's why!, a pile of crack masquerading as fanfic, crossover between Secret World and Inquisition, crossover officially starts at chapter 24, cute romance between two spirits because why not, guilequisitor, lost the rails, non-canon, note the choice not to use archive warnings!, one day they'll stop losing the Inquisitor but not today, screw canon, semi-serious parody, seriously a lot of spirits, suck at tags, these tags are stupid, why can't they do anything right?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-10 08:09:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 41,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11123217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhymefire/pseuds/Rhymefire
Summary: The Dread Wolf has shattered the sky. Everyone seems to think he's the Herald of Andraste or the Inquisitor or whatever bullshit title they come up with next. Oh, and he's gone from unassuming first enchanter to leader of an army of the faithful.What Toby should really be worrying about is the fact that he attracts Forgotten Ones like a magnet, that a toothy thing is lodged in his soul and he gets lost a lot. Occasionally, he gets so lost he finds himself in another dimension. One day they'll stop losing the Inquisitor, but not today.Crossover with Secret World Legends officially starts at chapter 24.





	1. That Funny Thing That Fen'Harel Did

Uthnan ripped the trapped spirit out of its cage. It bolted out the window, too terrified to thank her. Not that she minded. There were Elvhenan to kill! She threw herself at the nearest moron and ripped his throat out with her teeth. The others scattered like startled geese. With a wave of her hand, the doors slammed shut. Uthnan threw her head back and laughed with wild abandon. Then she snarled and stalked towards them.

When it was all over, she nodded with sharp-toothed satisfaction and all but strolled away. She wandered through one of her favourite glens with blood still dripping from her hands. Imshael stepped out of thin air and fell into step beside her. “That was awesome,” he said. “I’ve got the little guy all safe now. You’re the best, sis.”

“Absolutely.”

After that short exchange, Imshael wandered off somewhere. It didn’t really matter where he was. She’d found a nice flower to look at and settled down to watch it grow. It really was very pretty. She’d always had a hazy concept of time, as far as she knew it was a trait that all the Forgotten Ones shared, but it had probably been a long time before someone sat beside her.

Uthnan turned and watched the man instead. He was one of the Elvhenan. A tall, bald man with sharp eyes and a thick fur cloak over his shoulders. She leaned in and sniffed him. He smelled very wolfy. It might have been the cloak, but that was probably just how he smelled.

He smiled. “I am Fen’Harel. And who might you be?”

She picked a flower and twirled it between her fingers. “Uthnan. I don’t really have a name, but people always call that out when I come at them. I guess it makes things easier. You guys are strange that way, you have to name everything.”

“You aren’t nervous at all, are you?”

“Why would I be?”

“Our people are at war with the Forgotten Ones. You lead them, do you not?”

She blinked at him. “We’re at war with the Elvhenan?”

His eyebrows creased together. “Yes…. We have been for some time now.”

“Oh. I had no idea. Well, you guys would know, I guess.”

“Are you saying that-“

“And I don’t lead anyone, anyways. I don’t think we have leaders. We kind of just wander around and do stuff.”

He stared at her as though she’d grown a second head. She checked to make sure she hadn’t. Fen’Harel wiped the bewilderment off his face. “What do you do?”

“Nothing really interesting. Mostly we just help the spirits out. You know, make sure the Elvhenan don’t enslave them, and remind them what their jobs are. They’re pretty flighty, but they mean well.”

“I see.” He looked down and sighed. “Thank you for speaking with me.”

After that, she kept hearing about Fen’Harel from her siblings. He was an endless source of entertainment for the Forgotten Ones. It wasn’t long before they all called him friend and doted on him with the selfless kindness of those who don’t really understand the concept of ‘personal property.’ The look he’d made when Uthnan and Imshael snuck into Ghilan’nain’s grove and uprooted every tree was hilarious.

The groan he’d made when they’d stuffed them all into his tower had kept them laughing for years. The questions he’d ask were always fun to dance around, and it was even better when he got to the correct answer in the end. The subject of war did not come up again for a long time.

Uthnan never saw him when she freed an enslaved spirit from the Elvhenan. She had commended him on this once, and he’d only made a sour face and muttered something about gods. She hadn’t really been listening at the time. Sometimes she didn’t listen to him for days. He would walk beside her and talk at her, but she’d let her mind skip over the supposed war between their peoples.

According to him, it had ended some time ago. How could something that had never begun end? Maybe the war had been an idea itself and the Elvhenan had gotten bored with it? Lately, they avoided spirits altogether. How long had it been since she’d had to sack one of their cities for the crime of enslaving a spirit? She couldn’t really tell.

When she asked Fen’Harel, he had looked her with a startling solemnity. “A full century.”

She nodded at that, and wondered how long a century was.

The next time they’d met, the solemnity had been there from the beginning. “I have a favour to ask of you,” Fen’Harel said.

“Sure thing!”

He smiled and laughed. He ruffled her hair, an odd thing for him to do. He’d always been kind of prickly about touching her. She’d assumed it was an Elvhenan thing. “I’d like you to gather the Forgotten Ones. I thought it would be nice if they could meet my people. We shall build a truce, you and I.”

She cocked her head. “Why?”

“Have I not proven amusing? I believe you would find the Elvhenan much more entertaining than-“

“Nonsense! You’ll always be our favourite. But it might be fun.” Uthnan clapped her hands together. “Maybe I can chase them around a little. I’ve always liked doing that.”

Uthnan personally made sure that all the Forgotten Ones were gathered together. They’d all been engaged in a rousing debate over what sort of tricks they would play when a net snapped together around them. They were ripped apart, and there was an agonizing tearing when the world collapsed around them.

It terrified her. For the first time in her life, Uthnan was alone. Although the Forgotten Ones spent most of their time on their own, they had always been close together. With a twist of the mind they could be beside each other in an instant, so it had never occurred to them to feel lonely.

But no amount of twisting could bring her siblings to her. Uthnan wailed and thrashed in her prison. All alone. Just her. Eventually she calmed down enough to realize that Fen’Harel must have done this. What a strange thing to do. She straightened her spine and forced herself to prod at the cage around her. She was in a new place. It was as though all the magic in the world had been separated from the world bits. Cool.

She tried to bring the cage down, but the effort only seared her skin and sent her mind blacking out from the pain. After a long time, probably like a billion centuries or however long that might have been, she learned the trick of it. It was harder to do things now that everything was so intense. This new world that Fen’Harel created was a place of extremes. Uthnan was looking forward to exploring it, but first she had to get out of this cage.

Uthnan examined it carefully and realized that the only reason it could hold her was because it was designed to. So all she had to do was not be her. She laughed at the pure simplicity of it. It wasn’t all that good a cage was it? Not if it could be broken so easily.

A little reflection, and she wasn’t her. It wasn’t so hard to do things like that for the Forgotten Ones. Or at least the stronger ones. She shrugged her shoulders and resolved to teach Fen’Harel how to make better cages and teach her siblings the trick to getting out of their prisons. Or at least she meant to. But then she got distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only the Elvhenan that needed lots of persuasion and manipulating. The Forgotten Ones were lured in with the promise of being able to throw pies at elves.


	2. Yes, There Really Was A Rabbit

Toby Trevelyan’s muscles clenched tight when he realized where the First Enchanter was taking him. No. No, no, no. He wasn’t ready for this. Couldn’t be ready for this. He was only fourteen. How could they do this to him at fourteen?

The First Enchanter did not give any clue. He only gestured at the implements set aside for the Harrowing. Toby nodded through the instructions, mind in a daze. He automatically flinched away from the templars, but they were all around him. He couldn’t even catch sight of their eyes. It was only the sound of their breathing that hinted at the fact that they weren’t just suits of armour.

He gulped down the lyrium they gave him and winced at the taste. The world lurched and spun and twisted and he opened his eyes.

The fade stretched out around him, tauntingly empty. Toby took a deep breath and stepped forward. No demons popped out of the ground. He took another step. Nothing. Maybe there’d been a mistake? Had they sent him to an empty patch of the fade?

A tune carried in the wind. Something jaunty. He turned towards the sound and stiffened. A wild-eyed girl stared at him. Her face cracked into a grin and she waved. “I’m Uthnan! What’s your name?”

He relaxed a bit. She didn’t look all that bad. He said, perhaps louder than necessary, “I’m Toby and you’re a demon. Go away.”

She cocked her head. “What’s a demon?”

His jaw dropped. Ignorance was not one of the tactics he’d expected. “It’s an evil spirit.”

She laughed. Toby tried not to feel insulted. “How strange. Spirits aren’t good or evil, they just are.” She tapped a finger against her chin. “I’m actually a Forgotten One.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s what I am.”

Toby sighed. “You don’t want to possess me or anything, do you?”

Uthnan made a face. “Yuck. I already have a body. Why would I want two bodies?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I actually don’t know.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, I guess. What are you doing?”

“Doing my harrowing. I have to resist a demon.” She sat beside him. After a few awkward moments, he joined her. They waited. Toby fidgeted with his robes. Uthnan hummed and stared at him. She was just going to sit there. Watching him. Great. “Want to play I spy?”

She laughed. “I like you. You’re funny. I’m going to watch you, okay?”

“Uhhhh… I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“It’ll be fun!” She giggled and bounced a little.

“I really don’t think the templars will like that.”

She made another face. “Meanies. We’ll just have to teach them how to have fun, won’t we?”

Then the fade rippled and twisted around him. The breath was knocked out of _– no into –_ his lungs. He jolted upright, gasping for air. All around him, the templars reacted. As one they stumbled backwards and drew their swords. He screwed his eyes shut, waiting for the killing blow.

Then the First Enchanter said, “ _Where_ in the _void_ did that dancing rabbit come from?”

Toby opened his eyes. There was indeed a rabbit in front of him. And it was indeed dancing. Everyone froze. It was like watching an out of control carriage race towards you. Horrifying and impossible to look away from.

The rabbit twitched its whiskers and hopped around on its hind feet. Although it was impossible for it to be doing a jig, that didn’t stop it or diminish its sheer enthusiasm. Then it winked at him and he knew, without a doubt, that it was Uthnan.

One of the templars broke the stillness by launching himself at it. Uthnan dodged out of the way and then hopped on top of the fallen templar. Uthnan did a backflip and struck a pose. Everyone except Toby threw themselves at the rabbit. It made an odd giggly sound and dived out the window.

Toby sat there, dumbfounded, while everyone else argued. He only realized it was over when the First Enchanter pulled him upright. “Toby,” he said gently, “We’re never going to speak of this again. Do you understand?”

He nodded. All he could think of was that it didn’t matter that they were six stories above ground. No way was Uthnan dead.

“Good.” A heavy pause. The First Enchanter propelled him towards the door. “Go lie down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real reason the Forgotten Ones have such a bad reputation is because they were annoying as hell. True fact.


	3. Cassandra's Zealots

Toby reeled back. He cried out at the unearthly green light. Everything melted away.

Uthnan held him close and stroked his hair. She was there. They were in the fade. _He was safe_. He clung to her and wept, as though he were a child again. She crooned and rocked back and forth. She tucked him against her and nuzzled him softly.

Once his trembling stilled, she pulled back and lifted his hand up. Toby whimpered at the green light suffusing it and shook his head. Uthnan smiled and stroked the mark. “It’s pretty,” she said.

Toby choked out some laughter at that. Uthnan looked around, as though searching for something. “Be careful, Toby. Bad things are happening. I don’t like them.” Her wild-eyed gaze fell on the mark. “I’m coming.”

“You’re already here,” he whispered. She looked at him with an unusual solemnity. He gaped. “In person?”

She nodded and shot up. The Forgotten One shivered and rubbed her arms. The fade dissolved around him.

He shuddered awake and gasped at the _pain_. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut. He flailed his arms out, instinctively looking for Uthnan. He snagged an elf instead, who wasted no time in shoving him back into the bedding. “Be still,” the elf hissed. “You’re only going to hurt yourself.”

Toby forced himself to even his breathing and stared wide-eyed at the elf. The bald man was still grumbling and rubbing his head. Toby winced when he realized he’d probably struck the man. “Sorry….”

The man offered him a tired, albeit vaguely triumphant, smile. “No doubt you are disoriented and in pain.”

“That’s not really an excuse,” Toby insisted. He tried to ignore the fact that his mark was trying to rip his hand apart.

The door of the small hut slammed open and a growling woman stepped inside. She grabbed him by the collar and roared, “What did you do?”

A redhead shot through the doorway and wrenched her away. “Cassandra, enough! We need him alive.”

A dwarf strolled into the room, crossbow slung over his shoulder. “Damn. That’s some scar you got there.”

Toby tried a welcoming gesture. It didn’t seem to work very well.

“Varric Tethras,” the dwarf continued. “Rogue, storyteller and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He winked at Cassandra and Toby’s mind ground to a halt. He was antagonizing her. Why would he do that? _Why???_

“I am Leliana and this is Cassandra,” the redhead said.

“I am Solas if there are to be-“

Toby shot up. “Great.” He tried to smile, but only ended up with a manic grin. “Nice meeting you, but I’ve gotta go.” Cassandra’s nostrils flared. She opened her mouth, but Toby shoved past her. “Nope,” he continued. “Things to do, people to….”

He couldn’t think. Toby stumbled outside and stood there, gaping upwards. He could only look at the sky. Then he looked at the mark. At the sky again. He sighed and rubbed his temples. Bad things indeed. Would it have killed Uthnan to say the sky was ripped open?

He gestured at the sky. There was nothing to say.

Varric nudged him and grinned. “I know, right?”

Toby waved wildly at the rift’s general direction, as though that would make it go away. No such luck. “It’s all there.”

Cassandra clamped a hand on his shoulder. “And you’re going to fix it.”

“I’m what?”

* * *

 

Everything was fine. He squirmed deeper into the bedding. He was just lying here in bed. His bed. Because of course they gave him, the Herald of Andraste, a bed. And by they, he meant the group of crazed Andrastians that he seemed to have collected. Not to mention the hands of the divine. A mess of priests and a templar too, because _why the hell not?_

He rolled over and punched the pillow. At least the mark wasn’t growing anymore. Sealing the rift off had stabilized it. Or something like that. He was just glad that it had stopped trying to rearrange his fingers.

It was all okay though. He’d just pop over to Redcliffe and pick up his fellow mages, close the breach, and then run far, far away. Yes. That would work.

He sighed. He missed Clemence. The tranquil was probably counting the days and wondering what was taking him so long. Or calculating the odds that he’d survived the conclave. At least he could trust Clemence to take care of the other tranquil. Or at least keep them in Redcliffe.

He sighed. Leliana wanted to get mages anyways. Hopefully it would all work out. He just needed to take it one step at a time. He forced himself out of bed.  It would be easier if Uthnan were here. She always had a way of making things better. It would be strange to meet her in person.

He had barely cracked the door open before he heard Cassandra say, “Where is the Herald?”

Toby grimaced and waved her over. She already had her weapons and armour, not to mention a backpack that looked loaded with stuff. She looked at him expectantly.

He coughed. “Right, I’ll just get my stuff then.”

It was an uncomfortable journey, to say the least. He trudged behind the Seeker. Every now and then her eyes would snap onto him, as though to make sure he hadn’t gone nuts and run off into the woods. As if. There were bears out there. Cassandra was still pretty grumpy about his unwillingness to play nice with her Inquisition, but she still valiantly threw herself in the way whenever some idiot attacked them. And that was good enough for him.

Where was Uthnan? It’d been a week since he’d last seen her. A week since she’d promised to come to him. It was infuriating that the one person who was always there wasn’t there when a bunch of zealots declared him their new pet project.

His black mood must have shown. Cassandra and Solas steadfastly ignored him. Varric, on the other hand, insisted on telling him all about Kirkwall. Toby nodded his head at the proper times and made encouraging noises. How anyone could like a place like Kirkwall was beyond him. The Gallows was in Kirkwall and that was reason enough to stay away.

They were nearly at the crossroads before his wish was granted. Per usual, in the worst possible way.

Someone tackled him. Toby yelped and his fingertips sparked. “Found you,” Uthnan cried out. She bounced up and down on his stomach. He couldn’t have cared less. He hugged the Forgotten One tightly, but she squirmed out of his grasp. She ruffled his hair and then skipped over to Solas. “Sorry,” she said. “I meant to find you and show you how to make proper cages, but I forgot.”

Toby asked, “You two know each other?”

“Uthnan is one of the spirits that I consult from time to time. I am more interested in how you know her,” Solas snapped.

Toby grimaced. It was just like Uthnan to not mention the fact that she visited other mages. All the times she’d not visited him at night, had she been with Solas? Were there other mages out there that she’d befriended? He’d always been so starved for companionship that he’d never even thought about it. What an idiot he was. He didn’t even know that much about Solas.

“I’m a spirit healer.” He kept his tone even, despite the nagging ache in his gut. “Uthnan is the spirit that helps me with a lot of my magic.”

Solas sniffed and strode forward. Uthnan didn’t seem to notice. Instead, she latched onto Toby’s arm and gestured at the sky. “Have you seen that?”

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

She nodded. “I want it to go away though. You’ll make it go away for me, right Toby?”

He smiled and shook his head. “I’m already working on it.”

She perked up. “Awww, you’re such a nice person. You do what I want you to before I even tell you.” She patted his head and tugged him in the direction of the breach. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

Toby dug in his heels. “We’re going to Redcliffe to get some help, first. The mages there can help us close the breach. I can’t do it on my own.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course not, if you think like that.” And with that, she pulled him towards Redcliffe.

Varric edged in next to him. “So, you’re friends with a spirit?”

Toby sighed and began talking. He fumbled along, trying to properly explain spirit healing without going too heavily into magical theory. Every now and then, Solas would offer a snide comment. All in all, it was a very frustrating conversation. The only thing that made it better was Uthnan, who insisted on holding onto his arm until nightfall.

All it took to get Uthnan to watch the campsite was to suggest that there might be fireflies. She grinned at that, and practically threw them into their tents so they wouldn’t scare any off.

It took a long time for him to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem like everything is going by really fast. Really I just don't like Haven. Skyhold is so much more interesting! I want my castle to play with! Plus I want to toss him into the blizzard. And screw with canon.


	4. Screw That, I'm Doing It My Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title Chapter: Meanwhile, Cassandra Is Freaking Out.  
> Alternate Alternate Title Chapter: How Exactly Did You Lose The Inquisitor?

Redcliffe loomed ahead of them. Right between them, a rift crackled malevolently. Uthnan hissed and bared her teeth. Right on cue, demons slid out of the rift. Toby took a deep breath. Demons were just spirits by another name. They could be reasoned with. They would likely be confused. If he could hold back his bloodthirsty companions, maybe he could actually help them instead of killing them.

Cassandra charged. The others attacked, as though they’d been waiting for her signal. Even Uthnan joined in. He gritted his teeth together and snapped a barrier over them. He stretched out his hand and mentally tugged at the rift.

Toby refused to look at his companions once the rift was closed. Varric nudged him. “Nothing’s wrong,” Toby snapped. “Everything’s fine.”

It took a great deal of effort to not just storm into Redcliffe, grab Clemence and the others and get the hell out of there.

* * *

 

Nothing was working out. Cassandra insisted on dragging him over to meet up with some magister asshole who’d moved in before he could even think about looking for Clemence. Never mind that a magister probably wouldn’t like a bunch of tranquil hanging around. What if he’d kicked them out? He knew how tranquil thought. If they’d been forced to leave the town, they would probably wander aimlessly in the hopes of finding someone to help them. They would be perfect targets for bandits and templars.

Cassandra ushered him into the tavern and his blood froze. The magister waiting for him did not look very pleased to see him. His unrestrained power filled the room. Even from the doorway, Toby could feel it like heat on his skin. No way would he give the mages over. Clearly, another approach was needed.

“We’ve come to pick up the mages,” he blurted out. “Thanks for keeping them.”

Had he just thanked a magister? Fuck.

The man gave him a thin smile. “I am magister Alexius. It has been a pleasure to keep the mages, Herald. They’re going to enjoy their new home very much.”

“Haven’s kind of cold, but yeah, it is pretty nice.” Cassandra made a noise that suggested that she was resisting the urge to smack him.

“They’ll be in Tevinter. They’ve-“

“Alright then.”

“What?” Cassandra grabbed his arm.

Toby gestured at the magister. “He seems like a good guy and all. They’ll be fine. Earlier, you were going on about how stupid they were to make deals with a magister anyways. We’re not going to close the breach with drooling idiots, Cassandra. Besides, I thought you wanted templars to help us.”

Alexius blinked owlishly. “That’s very … kind of you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. We’ll just be on our way then.” He pushed his flustered companions out of the tavern.

As soon as the door shut, Cassandra slapped him. Toby let his head snap to the side. “Have you gone mad? We can’t let a magister take control of Redcliffe!”

Toby gave her a cool look. “He won’t be staying, remember? They’re going to Tevinter.”

Cassandra pulled her fist back for a punch. Varric grabbed her arm. “Woah there, Seeker.”

“These mages have been trapped in the Circle all their lives,” Toby said. “If they want to trade one cage for another, that’s fine by me. We’ll stay the night and then get the templars to help us. They’ll be better suited to closing the breach anyways.”

Solas’ grip tightened on his staff. “Such kind words, Herald. You don’t care at all for your fellow mages, do you?”

Toby shrugged. “It was a mistake to come here. We can’t fix a magical disaster by throwing more magic at it. The templars will help us.”

Cassandra jabbed a finger into his chest. “It was a mistake to follow _you_.”

She stormed off, Varric and Solas at her heels. Uthnan edged in beside him with a Cheshire-cat grin. “What are you up to?” she practically purred.

“Saving the mages. Now let’s go get them.”

Toby skulked around Redcliffe, looking for Clemence. He would be in an out of the way corner. Probably with some other mages. There weren’t very many tranquil in the village. With a sinking heart, he realized that most of them had indeed been run off. Which meant he’d have to find them.

Nothing could ever be easy.

In the end, he was forced to circle back to the tavern. Clemence stood by a table, apparently doing his best to mimic a statue. Toby pulled him into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

Clemence nodded. “It is good to see you. I thought you might have died at the Conclave. Magister Alexius forced many of us out of Redcliffe. I have managed to hide several tranquil in a cave nearby. We did not know what to do, so we have been waiting.”

Toby ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s go get them. There’s so much to tell you I don’t even know where to start. I’ll explain it all later. Right now, all you need to know is that I’ve picked up a bunch of religious nutjobs that do whatever I tell them. They’re called the Inquisition. I’m pretty sure if I order them to, they’ll keep you safe.”

“That is good. The others are this way.”

“Uthnan, can you get some supplies?” The Forgotten One didn’t even respond. She just laughed and sauntered out the door. Hopefully to get supplies. If he was lucky.

* * *

 

The cave Clemence had found was unnervingly close to Redcliffe. Quite literally a stone’s throw away. Toby crooked his finger at the dozen or so tranquil, and they followed him obediently. The Hinterlands were riddled with nooks and crannies to hide people in. All he needed was to find another cave. Maybe an hour or two away from Redcliffe? Not too close, so they wouldn’t be found, but not far enough that they couldn’t steal what they needed. Once he had a large enough group together, and it would be easy to sucker the mages right out from that idiotic magister’s nose, he would lead them to the crossroads. It would be a triumphant return. There’d be singing, dancing, and hopefully they wouldn’t kill him. And even better, he wouldn’t have a magister breathing down his neck.

He grinned. He knew just the place.

* * *

 

They approached Cora’s hideout cautiously. It had been easy enough to find. Cora had hung symbols from nearby trees, scratched them into rocks and had done everything except carve them into the soil. To her credit, she didn’t immediately attack them. It helped that Toby yelled out, “I’m a mage, please don’t hurt me,” as soon as he saw her.

She looked them over and with a wave of her hand, dissipated the barrier sealing off her cave. “Come in. Are any of you hurt?”

“No, we’re fine. We just got out of Redcliffe. It’s a nightmare over there.”

She furrowed her brow. “How so?”

Toby didn’t answer her question until he made sure everyone was settled. Thirty or so mages lived here, and most of them looked amazingly malnourished. “A magister forced Fiona into making a deal with him. Twisted her arm into giving over the mages.”

Cora snatched up her staff. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“We can’t just charge into Redcliffe, they’ll kill everyone,” Toby said.

“But the-“

“I have an idea, but I’ll need your help to do it.” Toby looked down and shuffled his feet. “I can’t do this on my own.”

It worked. Within a week he had Cora wrapped around his little finger. Every day he went out in the guise of spreading more of her ridiculous markings. He didn’t. What he did do was look for mages and tranquil stranded in the Hinterlands. It amazed him how many there were just wandering around. Mages it seemed, were not very good at organizing themselves. And why would they be? In the circle they were taught to submit, not to lead.

At night he slept, and it was his nights that were the most productive. Uthnan took his hand and led him through the fade. Together, they slipped into the dreams of the Redcliffe mages and spoke to them. Toby sat beside them and did his best to encourage them to escape.

This night, he patted a young woman’s hand. “I know this is a bit unusual, but you know I’m not a demon. I’m a mage just like you.”

“Then what are you doing here? How did you get in my mind?”

“I’m a spirit healer. The spirit I work with is letting me come along for the ride.”

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. “There was a spirit healer in my tower. I didn’t know they could do stuff like this.”

“Every mage is different. We all have our own talents.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll sneak away.”

“Uthnan will help you. Every day she escorts people to the hideout. Don’t worry about looking for her, she’ll know where to find you.”

“Thank you for this. Everything has been so….”

He patted her shoulder. “I know it has. But the Inquisition is here to help. Once we have enough people, we’ll be able to meet up with the others in Haven.”

He took Uthnan’s hand, and she led him into the mind of the next mage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because why piss off a magister unless you really have to? I mean really, why? Why would you do that??? What could you possibly gain by doing that???
> 
> Guilequisitor for the win. Also Dickquisitor.


	5. The Most Passive-Aggressive Letter In All Of Thedas

“Our scouts have found something.”

Toby looked up at Cora. “What is it?”

“One of Alexius’ lackeys is camped out in the hills.”

“Wait, seriously? Why would he do that?”

Cora shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. That man needs to die. I’ve already put a team together. We’re just waiting on you.”

Toby sighed. Of course she had. Why wouldn’t she? She was just like Cassandra. In fact, if he squinted, he might have mistaken Cora for Cassandra. He picked up his staff. “Why don’t you stay here Cora? There might be an emergency or something while I’m gone.”

Cora shifted slightly, grunted and plunked herself onto the floor. “Fine.”

Apparently she was still a little sore about the fact that Toby was considered ‘the leader.’ Hopefully she’d get over it soon.

Toby led his team of apostates through the hideout. It was less of a hideout and more of a camp at this point. In the past two weeks their numbers had grown to four hundred strong. They spilled out of the cave and occupied a healthy chunk of the forest surrounding it and some of the nearby ravine. There was no way he could take charge of Cassandra’s zealots, but the terrified, desperate mages scattered throughout the Hinterlands? That was something he could do. He’d been taking care of frightened mages for the last fifteen years.

They’d been walking for two hours before Toby spotted a metallic glint. He motioned for the others to hide themselves. Which they did. Noisily. The metal glinted again, and Toby realized that it wasn’t a knife, like he’d originally thought. It was just part of a really stupid outfit. The Tevinter lounged about his campsite, without a care in the world. What was he doing here? Was he spying on them?

Toby cursed under his breath. Of course he was. Why else would he be out here?

Only one way to find out.

Toby gathered his energy and layered barriers over each of them. “I’ll get his staff, the rest of you bring him down. And remember, we need him alive. I want to know what the hell he’s doing here.”

He gave the signal, and they exploded into action. Toby sprang forward and snatched up the Tevinter’s staff. He pointed it at their unresisting captive.

“Just lovely what you can find in these woods, isn’t it?” the Tevinter said.

“Yeah, just the other day I was thinking to myself that it would be great if I could find one of Alexius’ jerkass followers wandering around the countryside.” Dammit, was he quipping? Shit. Win now, quip later.

“You think I work for Alexius? No, no, contrary to what you might believe not all Tevinters want to see the world end.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

The man sighed. “My name is Dorian Pavus, scion to-“

“That’s nice, but what are you doing here?”

Dorian huffed. “I’m trying to tell you. Don’t you have any sense of drama?”

“Alright, go ahead then.”

“Thank you. Dorian of house Pavus, recently of Minrathous. Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable as I’m sure you can imagine.”

Was he serious? “Considering he used to be your mentor, I’m actually having trouble imagining that.”

“Used to be, meaning not any more. Look, you must know there’s danger here and if you could point me in the direction of the Inquisition, you’d have my everlasting gratitude.” He gave a winsome smile.

Toby resisted the urge to scream, or maybe set himself on fire. “Yeah, actually… I’m part of the Inquisition. Kind of. You know, they gave me a title and stuff.”

“I didn’t know they were giving out titles.”

“It’s not a good one, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Anyways, you want to help the Inquisition for some reason?”

“Don’t you find it odd that Alexius got to the mages before you? As if by magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition Alexius distorted time itself.”

“That’s impossible.”

Dorian shook his head. “I know what I’m talking about. I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. What I don’t understand is why he’s doing it. Ripping time to shred just to gain a few hundred lackeys?”

Toby gave him a look. “It does sound pretty stupid.”

“I’m telling you, that’s what’s happening.”

“Alright, Cassandra can deal with this shit. I’ve had enough. I’m sending her a letter or something. You guys can let Dorian go now.”

The mages, with some reluctance, released him. Dorian stood and tried to rub some of the feeling back into his arms. Did all Tevinters wear so many belts? There were so many buckles and straps on his outfit that he couldn’t even guess what they were all for.

Toby took a sheaf of paper and a quill out of his pack. He knelt to the ground and used a conveniently placed boulder as a table and began to write.

_Dear Cassandra,_

_Sorry about tricking you guys and running off. To make up for it I stole around three hundred mages away from under Alexius’ nose and found another hundred wandering around the Hinterlands. We’re camped between a giant stretch of ravines and Redcliffe._

_We’ve recently acquired Alexius’ old student (or assistant or something like that). He claims that there’s some really weird magical stuff going on. I think that as the honorary leader of the Inquisition, you should deal with it._

_I’ve got enough mages to close the rift (probably), so I’ll do that and this will all be over, right? After that, we can disband the Inquisition and laugh all about this. Please don’t be too angry._

_Toby_

He passed the letter over to one of the mages. “Could you pass this on to the Inquisition?”

She threw her hands up. “I don’t know wh-“

“Pick a random direction. They’re setting up camps everywhere. Literally everywhere. There’s flags and everything. Just wander around a bit, either you’ll find them or they’ll find you. The rest of you, we’re going back to camp.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, for one, think it's very sensible of Toby to resist the urge that all heroes have to quip in the middle of dangerous situations.


	6. Fun Times At Haven

Toby wrung his hands. “Look, they brought soldiers. That’s encouraging.” The Inquisition hadn’t just sent Cassandra. They had sent a gleaming line of troops. He tried his best not to feel very intimidated at the sight of all those swords and shields marching towards him.

Dorian cocked a brow. “You don’t look very happy about it.”

Toby pointedly looked away and ran a hand through his hair. “I might have forgotten to mention that it’s possible that I tricked them and ran off to get the mages away from Alexius. They’re probably not too happy about that.”

He ran forward before he could hear Dorian’s reply. Cassandra led the soldiers. It was like approaching a stormcloud.

She pointed at him. _“You!”_

“Look Cassandra, I got the mages. We’ll have that breach sealed up in no time!” It was the wrong thing to say. The seeker pounced. Toby braced himself, but when her bulk collided into his gut, it really didn’t matter. He slammed to the ground and tried to scrabble away.

Cassandra grabbed him by the ear and hauled him up. He yelped. This hurt just as much as it had when he was a child. She growled and shook him. “I thought you’d _abandoned_ us. We had no idea where you were and after two weeks of running around the Hinterlands _you_ send _us_ a letter? _A letter?_ ”

Toby flailed his arms at the crowd they were starting to attract. “Ok, yeah, that wasn’t the best way to handle things but look at all the mages.”

“You’re coming back to Haven. _Now_.” She put shackles – great, those again – on his wrists and clipped a chain onto them. Leashed. Wonderful. She whirled around and pulled him after.

“All a normal part of the Inquisition, guys. Just follow us,” he called out.

The mages looked at him like he was insane. No, like he’d just turned into an abomination right in front of them. Then a few shrugged and followed, either out of some misguided belief in him or morbid curiosity. The others sighed, and the ramshackle camp stirred and trickled after him and Cassandra.

* * *

 

They didn’t stop until they were back in Haven. She promptly threw him into the war room. Leliana’s eyes flicked up and she set down the report she’d been reading. “Herald,” she said.

“Finally,” Cullen snapped. “What were you thinking?”

“Mages?” Toby tried.

Cassandra slammed her hands onto the war table. “You _will_ close the breach. This is not an option.”

Toby sighed. “Look, I know I really pissed you guys off, but it all worked out in the end. I’m back, yay. We have four hundred mages, double yay. We just have to snap that breach shut and we can head home. All I’m doing is what you told me. You said, “Toby, go get us some mages,” and did I complain? Nope. I got you mages.” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Honestly, I don’t know what you guys want from me anymore.”

Josephine neatly ushered the seeker out of the room when she turned an alarming shade of red. She turned back to him and forced a smile. “True, it’s not how we would have gone about things, but you did get the mages we needed. Although, Herald, we would all feel much better about this kind of thing if you warned us beforehand.”

Cullen snorted. “Warned us? How about not running off an-“

The door slammed open. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Cassandra. It was Dorian. “I’m here to save the day. Also to look dashing. That part’s less difficult.”

Leliana made a face. “You’re the Tevinter who helped our wayward Herald recruit the mages. Dorian Pavus, isn’t it?”

“She’s the spymaster,” Toby said helpfully.

Dorian smirked. “Have you told them about the Venatori yet?”

Leliana froze. “The _what?_ ”

Things went downhill from there.

* * *

 

Toby looked at his list of tasks. Lists always helped things. If he focused on one thing at a time, hopefully he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the enormity of the task before him. He had no idea where Uthnan was, but she was probably hiding in Haven somewhere. Probably causing mischief. Hopefully nothing too bad, but he hadn’t heard any serious complaints.

It wasn’t that big a list. Task One: greet new arrivals and make sure everyone isn’t too angry. Task Two: apology to Cullen, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine. Task Three: Close breach.

Right. Easy as pie.

Toby headed for Solas first. He seemed reasonable enough. He and Varric had been the only two members of what Cassandra called his ‘inner circle’ not glaring daggers at him. Toby finally caught sight of the elf near the apothecary. Maybe he liked herbalism? He snuck closer and hid behind the apothecary. What to say?

Solas’ eyes settled on him, and Toby flushed. He sheepishly stepped out of hiding. “I didn’t know how angry you were about the whole tricking everyone thing.”

To his surprise, the man’s lips curled upwards. “Actually, I found it quite clever.”

“Oh. Everyone else is pretty mad. Except Varric. He just said I should have actually run away instead of just pretending to. Apparently he’s good at sniffing out tragedies.”

“But you didn’t.”

Was that a trick question? “No?”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“No, no, I just meant that….” Toby sighed and raked his hair back. “Well before all this, I took care of the mages in my circle. Now everyone wants to kill me except Cassandra’s zealots and there’s a giant hole in the sky. I figure you’d have to be a pretty big jerk to just leave when you’re the only person who can stop the sky from splitting open.”

Solas chuckled. “You’re lucky she’s out of earshot.” He shook his head ruefully and his lips pulled into a smirk. “I’ll stay then and help this Inquisition.”

“I’m just glad that not _everyone_ is angry. I keep telling them I have no idea what I’m doing, but they’re not listening.”

“The mantle of leadership has been passed on to you. It will be interesting to see what kind of leader you’ll be.”

Toby laughed. “Hey, let’s not go crazy there.”

One person down. Dorian wasn’t all that far off. In fact, the Tevinter leaned against a nearby tree and watched them. Intently. Toby tried not to look, but he could feel the man’s eyes boring into him. He leaned in closer to Solas. “I think Dorian wants to talk to you.”

Solas gave him a look that suggested his brain had just dribbled out of his ears. “I think he’d much rather speak with you.” With that, the elf turned and left.

Nooooooo. Toby grumbled under his breath. He approached Dorian cautiously. “Is something wrong?”

“It just occurred to me that you lived in one of those dowdy little mage prisons.”

Toby stiffened. “I was First Enchanter of the Ostwick Circle.”

Dorian’s eyebrows shot up. “I had no idea. That’s quite impressive.”

“It’s not.”

“Oh, but it is. I’ve never seen a first enchanter so young.” He smiled encouragingly. “No doubt you won the position with your wit and charm.”

A muscle slid in Toby’s jaw. “They picked me because I was young. They thought they could push me around.”

Dorian actually laughed at that. “Silly templars. I can’t imagine anyone pushing you around.”

Toby stood, at a loss for words. He had no idea what was happening anymore. “I have to do a thing. With Josephine. A Josephine-thing.”

Dorian smirked and looked him up and down. “Well, I’d hate to keep you from a thing.”

Toby fled and did his very best not to sneak a peek at the stupidly handsome mage. Wait, handsome? Shit. Now was not the time to get all moon-eyed over anyone.

Toby’s frantic steps actually did end up leading him to Josephine. She had claimed a small room and, against all logic, furnished it. He did a double take at the rich carpet she’d found.

“Ah, Herald. May we speak for a moment?”

“Sure.” He settled into a chair. “So, I understand that you want me to bring a team out from now on?”

She nodded emphatically. “That would be best, lord Trevelyan.”

He winced. “No, Toby’s fine.” She hesitated. “Lord Toby?” He hazarded.

She laughed, a delicate ladylike sound. “Very well then, lord Toby.”

“I thought that next time I go out, with my team, I would recruit the horsemaster Cullen was talking about. Maybe see if I can a smuggler or two lying around for Leliana.” He looked at her imploringly. “I’m not exactly sure what to get you or Cassandra, though.”

“Just don’t run away again, and I will be content.” Toby sulked. She smiled and held out a sheaf of parchment. “Well, if you’d like you can look over this letter.”

He perked up immediately. “Oooh, letters are my favourite. What sort of letter is it?”

“I took the liberty of drafting a letter to informing your family that we’ve found you.”

He snatched it out of her fingers. “You _what?_ ”

To her credit, Josephine did not show any confusion at this outburst. “When you vanished, we contacted your family. We thought that was where you might have gone.”

“Did you get a reply?”

“No.”

Toby uncoiled from the chair and paced. “Shit, shit, shit. Okay, I left three weeks ago so that means.” His voice trailed away. He braced himself against the wall. “They’ll be here any day.”

“Pardon?”

Toby screwed his eyes shut. “I’m calling a meeting in the war room. I want everyone there, _now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the story is just Toby curling up into a ball of anxiety and staying that way. When Corypheus comes to attack Haven, he'll be all, "Aww, I was expecting a fight. This is just awkward." Cue Corypheus trying to cheer Toby up so they can battle properly.


	7. Adrift In The White

“My family is coming to Haven,” Toby said. “All of them. You see, one thing that Trevelyans do is solve problems and they don’t do it alone. No, if one person knows about it then everyone does and once everyone knows than they do something.” He turned to Josephine. “You said you didn’t get a reply. That’s because they’re coming here. That is their reply. That’s their idea of a reply. Even a whiff of an issue and everyone will show up and make everything okay again.”

Josephine started towards him. “Lord Toby, you need to-“

“There is no calm. There is nothing except these rules.” Toby started writing right on the war table. Josephine rushed forward and pressed paper into his hands. He waved her away. “Don’t talk about politics or anything that could become politics. No religious talk. Ever. And for the love of god, no debating. If they say something that makes no sense or that’s just plain stupid you nod your head and go along with it. Oh my god, we need to hide all the mages. There’s a lot of woods right? Can we get them all in the woods?”

“This is ridiculous,” Cullen said.

Josephine gasped. “We can’t make our new allies live in the woods, Lord Toby!”

“But they’re all everywhere and god damnit there’s no way this will end well. Fine, forget the mages. Baby steps.”

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Cassandra said.

“Because they’re my family and you have no idea what that means. Look, I’ll be the good Herald and whatnot, but seriously we need to pull together here. This is a serious problem. You don’t understand, when more than one Trevelyan gets in one place things get bad. Very bad. You think I’m a problem, I’ve got nothing on my family. I just played a trick on you guys, but these people will do anything. _Anything._ ”

“Relax,” Varric said. “They can’t be all that bad.”

Toby barked out a laugh. “We need to get rid of all the alcohol.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Dorian said.

“And you need to be less magey, Dorian. You too Solas. Actually, all the mages need to be less magey. Pretend you’re trees or something. And we should get all the templars to meet them at the gate. Maybe like a mass religious service or something?”

Cassandra stood up. “This is all nonsense. I will have no part in this.” She left.

“Actually, they’ll probably really like her. Josephine and Leliana should be fine, but the rest of you need to stop doing some things. Like the gambling, Varric. Just don’t do that while they’re here.” Toby swept from the room. “Actually you know what,” he called over his shoulder, “forget everything I just said. We should just close the breach right now. Come on, come on, let’s go.”

“Wait, right now?” Cullen asked.

“Yes, right now. What did you think I meant when I went- oh, just get your templar butt over to the breach. And all the mages.” He turned to look at them and said in his best First Enchanter Voice, “Now.”

They sprang up.

* * *

 

When he heard the alarm bells and general panic, Toby assumed that his family had arrived. He didn’t see his family anywhere. Army, yes. Family, no. He noted, through his dazed bewilderment, that a compassion spirit hovered about him. You didn’t see that very often.

He continued in that befuddled state until he realized he would die that day. Reasonable enough that he’d realize this while standing in a chantry. “Shut up,” he roared. Everyone stared at him, eyes bugging out of their sockets. “Get the people out of here. I’m starting an avalanche.”

“That’s….” Cullen groaned. “That could work.”

“My plans are stupid,” Toby said. “But they always work.”

A slender hand slipped into his. Uthnan smiled at him. Odd as it was, he could feel the approval radiating off her. “Let’s go kick ass,” she said.

Together, they cut a bloody swath through the red templars. He should have been feeling afraid. Maybe he’d finally snapped. His magic bubbled up and spilled out of him, laying waste to anyone fool enough to get in his way. Uthnan laughed as she fought. The Forgotten One danced in and out of his magic and tore enemies apart with her bare hands.

This is how he would die. _Doing_ something. Too long he’d been stuck endlessly circling between the sadistic wishes of the templars and the terrified pliancy of the mages. It was such a relief to let loose. To be able to just fucking _immolate_ something without fear. The smell of cooked flesh was oddly pleasing.

When the snow rushed towards him, and Corypheus fled on his dragon, Toby could only look into Uthnan’s eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered. He registered a faint surprise in her eyes before the glittering white surged around him and swept him away.

* * *

 

His eyes cracked open. Ouch. Everything hurt. On one hand, he was alive. On the other, he was stranded in a cave in the middle of the mountains. And Uthnan was nowhere to be seen. Typical. Apparently, this was his lot in life now. Save the day, and immediately get smacked down by anything and everything. You just couldn’t win.

Nevertheless, he forced himself to his feet and picked a direction. What else could he do? He could only be grateful that he wasn’t too badly damaged, all in all. Did he have Uthnan to thank for that? It was just like her, to heal him but then get bored waiting for him to wake up. Then she’d wander off and promptly forget about the whole thing. As long as he was alive, she wouldn’t even think to worry.

When he found the exit to the cave and saw the blizzard (had he done that?), he shrugged his shoulders and curled up in a corner. Through blurring eyes, he noted how warm he felt. Shouldn’t he be cold? So tired. His eyes slid shut.

He slipped into the fade. He tried to focus on Solas (he was a dreamer, wasn’t he?), but ended up with nothing. He probably wasn’t asleep.

He did, however, attract the attention of a spirit. Or rather, a demon. A desire demon drifted towards him, head tilted coquettishly. “Why, hello there,” she said. “You look awfully familiar. We haven’t met before, have we?”

“Probably not. I’m not on a first name basis with many desire demons.”

A teacup appeared in her hand and she sipped from it. If Josephine was a desire demon, she would act exactly like this. “Ah,” she said. “I know what it is. My sister likes you.”

A shiver of something ran down his spine. Thrill? Ice? “Are you talking about Uthnan?”

She laughed, delicate and fluting. “She always was fond of that nickname. Her real name is Formless One, though.”

“So, you’re Xebenkeck?”

She clapped her hands together, teacup momentarily vanishing. “Oh, you’re very smart, aren’t you? I am.” Wait, she was smart or she was Xebenkeck? She held out the teacup. “Want some?”

Usually, it was wise to refuse anything a spirit tried to give you. But Toby had never been wise. The liquid was not tea. It felt like liquid ashes crawling down his throat. Why in the void did it taste like raspberries? “I’m actually not sure if I liked that,” he said.

She took the teacup from him, and smirked. “I can see why Uthnan likes you.” She cocked her head. “You know what, this is just wrong. I must speak with someone about this.” She nodded gravely at him and dissolved into a curl of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh great, more Forgotten Ones. And now they're interceding on his behalf. With what exactly? Anyone else getting chills?


	8. Burn Through The Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to wonder if I should put up a parody tag. Thoughts?

He shuddered and gasped. He burned. His veins sparked with flames and music pounded through him. Toby lurched upwards. The blizzard howled and he fell out into it. He still burned. Though the icy winds buffeted him and sent him tumbling into the snowdrifts, he burned. The fact that the snow wasn’t melting around him seared through his mind.

He gripped his arms tightly and forced his way through the storm. The world shifted around him as he walked. Toby did not stop. Why would he? He had to find the others. Had they even managed to escape? Toby couldn’t say how much time he’d actually bought them. Five minutes or so? Longer? A lot could be done in that time. Corypheus had been driven away, but all this was meaningless if he’d only managed to kill everyone with an avalanche.

Every now and then he would be tempted to rest for a moment, just to stop his legs from burning. When this happened, Toby closed his eyes and focused on the song. It always hovered just at the edge of his hearing, but when he listened it spiraled out into a symphony that enveloped him completely. All in all, it was very comforting.

The song was still playing when hands grabbed him and he startled. Cassandra clung to him, eyes suspiciously wet. “I’ve found him,” she bellowed. “Over here.”

Toby looked around. It had stopped snowing – when had that happened? – and people were streaming towards him. He faltered for a moment in the pawing hands of those happy to see him. He caught Uthnan at the edge of the crowd. She only smiled and winked at him.

His advisors eventually managed to prise him free from Cassandra’s zealots. “Lie down.” “Sit, Toby.” “Be careful with him.” “He must be starving.” “Fetch the healer.” “Food!” “Medicine!” “Water!”

Toby shook them off. “Relax, you guys. I’m fine. Actually, I feel great.”

“You were lost for five days,” Leliana said, mouth tight.

“Oh. Really? I had no idea.”

They tackled him as one. In a minute flat, they had tucked him into a bed, pressed a bowl of soup into his hands and shoved Mother Giselle beside him.

She clucked disapprovingly as she looked him over. Her eyes slid away from him. “They are saying that you have risen from the dead.”

Toby obediently had a spoonful of soup. “Really? That…. Actually, that might make sense.”

Her body went rigid. “Repeat what you just said, my Herald. I’m afraid I misheard.”

“Well, it makes sense that they’d think that. I mean, avalanche and all. You know believers. Religious types will always look for the most ridiculous answer first. Maybe the avalanche didn’t even kill me. That seems more sensible. I guess I’m undead now.” He slid out of the blankets. “I’ve got to stop my advisors from killing each other now, but that was a really nice bedtime story.”

He had only made it halfway before she started singing. He swiveled around to stare at her. She was actually singing. Just standing there, belting out a tune.

Then the worst thing that could have happened, happened. People joined in. All around him, they were singing. Just. Singing. Spontaneously. He turned away, and froze. He didn’t know how many people there were here. He did know that they were all kneeling. As a rule, Toby didn’t like people kneeling at him.

Even after the song had finished, he stood frozen. Oh my god. They weren’t Cassandra’s zealots. They were _his_ zealots. Shit.

Solas breezed by. “A word.”

Toby scrambled to catch up with him. He followed the elf a good ways away from the others. He couldn’t be any happier. Solas was the best person in the world. Then the elf started talking. Toby’s grin faded the more words came spilling out of Solas’ mouth.

“Okay,” he said, once the elf had finished. “Just let me get this straight in my head. In your nightly walks around the fade, you saw an orb just like the one Corypheus has. You know it’s an elven orb. Also, there’s a castle nearby that we can use as our new base of operations. Is that all?”

“You have the right of it.”

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.” Toby stroked his chin, seriously. “I’ll need a map and some darts.”

Solas cocked a brow. “What are you planning to do with them?”

“I’m going to blindfold myself and throw the darts at the map. Then we look at where the darts hit and go to the place with the coolest name and that will be our new base.” Solas narrowed his eyes. “No, really Solas,” Toby continued, “this is how we’re going to solve all our problems. Last night, I dreamt that I walked through a field of flowers. Suddenly they all burst into song and told me that this was the way to do things. Don’t give me that look, you can tell this is true because I saw it in the fade!”

“Herald, this is serious.”

Toby jabbed a finger into his chest. “Me too. Solas, do you see those idiots milling around over there? If I don’t find a place to put them, they’re going to die. All of them. I don’t have time for stupid jokes.”

Solas hissed. “This isn’t a joke.”

“Fine then, what proof do you have? Where did you learn this?”

“In the-“

“No, the truth. Seriously, if you want me to take you seriously, I’m going to need more than that. I’m not just charging through the mountains because you said so.”

Solas flinched as though he’d been struck. His hands balled into fists. “Th-“

Toby whirled away. “Don’t care,” he called back over his shoulder.

* * *

 

All in all, they would be okay. As long as they could figure out where to go. Toby wasn’t sure how many more times he could explain to Josephine that, no, they really couldn’t go to his family’s estate in the Free Marches. He hadn’t heard a word about his family. Personally, Toby hoped that at that very moment, they were staring at the smoking mess that was Haven and wondering what the hell happened. No, they would probably assume he was dead. And then celebrate.

When he dismissed them, and they were as obedient now as the mages from his circle had been when he was first enchanter, Solas stalked towards him.

Toby held up a hand. “Okay, I get it. Fade is awesome. I still need proof though.”

“You need,” Solas said, “to trust me.”

“I need to not kill everyone.”

“You won’t.”

“Fine then, show me this magic castle you pulled out of your ass.”

Solas gritted his teeth and snapped a ward around them. The world wrenched. Toby sulked at the fade and kicked at a bit of loose soil. “Could have warned me,” he muttered.

“Skyhold is this way.”

Toby snorted. He wrenched back.

The fade shuddered. Twisted around them. He shook himself free. Shot awake. Scrabbled out of the ward.

The song roared in his ears. He burned, burned, burned.

Solas only approached him once Toby stopped rocking back and forth. Toby forced a deep breath and tried to smile. “I’m fine.”

The elf’s face shuttered and he knelt by his side. “How did you do that?” He spoke soothingly, as though Toby were a feral beast.

He jerked his shoulders in the approximation of a shrug. “I don’t want to see it in the fade. I want to see it in real life. You said it was an ancient castle. It could be in the fade, but it could just be an empty patch of ground in the real world.”

Solas gave him another unreadable look and shook his head. “There isn’t enough time for that. By the time we returned, they will be dead of exposure.”

Toby sighed. He still burned. Fire sung through him. “Fine.” He didn’t have the energy for this. He struggled to his feet (owowowow, why did it hurt so much) and went to his advisors. “Solas has a magic castle up his butt. Let’s go.”

Solas made an inarticulate sound of rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though, I have never understood how the Inquisitor just goes along with Solas' whole 'Hey I just remembered about a castle nearby' thing. The Inquisitor just walked through a blizzard, Solas. Is now the best time to spring this on them? I just assumed the Inquisitor was still so exhausted from almost dying in a blizzard that they just go along with it. 
> 
> "Magic castle? Sure, Solas. Whatever man. Look, I'm tired, okay? I just want to never see snow again."


	9. Broken Blade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mess up with the double posting of this chapter. I just noticed it now. Everything's fixed.

The journey was difficult. Not because they were in the middle of the mountains. Not even because everyone was either in shock, furious or in despair. The mages were an immense help and proved to be invaluable. They kept people warm and hunted with the ruthless efficiency that only comes from being forced to live in caves very, very suddenly.

No, what made it difficult was how very self-aware he was. Toby had forgotten all about eating and sleeping after he’d woken – or had it been more? – up. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Mother Giselle had said about him coming back from the dead. The niggling thought stayed with him. What really worried him was that he didn’t feel worried about it. Eating and sleeping were something strange to him now, that he couldn’t quite understand.

The food wasn’t a problem. All he had to do was tell people that he’d already eaten and they let him be. After all, who would lie about a thing like that? Nights were different. Awkwardly, he’d lie down in a bedroll and wait.

Toby had never been very good at staying still for very long, and it was at these times that the music helped him. The first night, he closed his eyes and lost himself in its gentle harmonies. Whatever had happened to him, it had been worth it if it meant he got to hear this. That night, he’d teased the song apart and absorbed part of what it tried to teach him.

Every other night, he practised slipping into the fade, despite still being awake. Toby spooled his mind out of his body and was sucked into the fade. Probably because there was nowhere else for it to go.

Eventually, Solas pulled him aside and led him up to a nearby peak. He pointed to a castle in the distance. “There it is, Skyhold,” he announced.

Toby did a double take. Nope. Not happening. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Solas snapped.

He waved his arms at it. “Look at it. Someone’s enchanted the shit out of that thing.”

“You can feel it?” Solas’ face shuttered.

“Obviously. Look, if you go to all the trouble of laying down this much magic on a place you’re not going to abandon it. I don’t want to be here when the owner comes back.” Toby looked back at the people depending on him. Shit. He raised a hand to stave off Solas. “Fine, we’ll go into the stupid castle. But when the owner comes back, and he will, you can explain everything.”

After some thought, Toby sidled closer to Dorian. It would be interesting to see if he noticed the enchantments layered around Skyhold. Solas obviously hadn’t planned on Toby knowing about them, which raised all sorts of uncomfortable questions.

Skyhold was right in the middle of a suspiciously nice (considering the location) swath of green. Trees, grass, tiny animals. Toby gripped his staff tightly and crept forward, much to Solas’ annoyance.

Dorian strolled beside him, amusement written across his face. “So, is that spirit of yours really one of the Forbidden Ones?”

“She’s not mine, she’s just a friend. And yes, she is.”

“Fascinating. Are you sure?”

“I didn’t believe her at first, but she can do things I’ve never even heard about.”

“It is curious,” Solas said, “That you attracted her attention.”

“Hey, if a being of immense power announces they’re going to train me I’m not arguing with it.”

Dorian’s eyes sparked at that. “Does she really teach you things every night?”

“Usually.” A twinge of regret settled in his chest. “We had to stop though. She said there’s nothing else she can teach me. That I have to figure things out on my own now.” That had been the first thing she’d said to him after he’d survived the avalanche. “It’s not that bad though, because I get to spend all my time with her now.”

“Except when you’re asleep,” Dorian added.

Toby winced. “Yeah.” How do you tell a group of people that you don’t sleep anymore? Group meeting? Casually drop it into the conversation? There probably wasn’t any good, or tactful, way to tell them. Might as well start with these two. “I actually haven’t slept since the avalanche.”

Dorian shook his head. “That can’t be good for you.”

“No, I mean that I don’t need to. Or eat actually.”

Solas stopped right in his tracks. “You don’t feel the need to eat or sleep? And you tell us this now?”

“It never came up?” Toby tried.

Dorian laughed. “Well, that’ll be useful.”

“I’m not joking, Dorian,” Toby said. “I talked a bit with Xebenkeck in the fade after the avalanche. She said something about interceding on my behalf and then wandered off. Ever since then….” He shrugged.

“Why didn’t you mention this?” Solas snapped.

“I don’t know. I didn’t even realize it was happening until I found you guys. And then there was all the singing and trekking through the mountains. We’ve been busy.”

“Do you even hear the things that come out of your mouth?” Solas said.

“Well, what about you, Mr. Ass-Castle? Are you gonna come clean about this whole thing? Like how did you know about the enchantments. None of the other mages have mentioned them, you know. Only we can feel them. For me, it’s understandable. I’ve been dicking around with the Forbidden Ones, but what about you, Solas? What have you been doing?”

Dorian stepped between them. “Let’s not kill each other, shall we? We have a castle to get to.”

Toby sighed. “It’s like nobody listens to me anymore. Do you at least feel the enchantments, Dorian?”

“What enchantments?”

Toby glanced at Solas. The elf stood still, an unreadable look etched onto his features. Toby sighed. “Never mind. Let’s just go.”

Once his advisors caught sight of Skyhold, there was no hope of reasoning with them. The crowd swept Toby to the castle, and there was no hope of stopping them. They swarmed the derelict fortress and cheerfully talked about repairs and what needed to be done and where they would get supplies and there was no hope of escaping their endless chatter. When Toby found himself positioned above the seething, frenzied mass and Leliana stepped forwards and offered him a sword, he knew that it was not a choice. It was a demand.

Toby gripped the sword. This must be what a deer felt like before it was consumed by wolves. His eyes swept over the crowd. They howled underneath him, and Toby trembled as he caught sight of glimmering bright eyes and flashes of white teeth.

His inner circle had arranged themselves beneath him, apart from the crowd. Cassandra, Varric, Solas, Dorian and others they must have picked up in their travels. There was a dark-skinned woman whose clothes glittered like jewels and an enormous qunari that Toby was sure he should have noticed by now. A grizzled, bearded man and a slender, mischievous elf. Had he really been that dazed on the trip here?

His limbs trembled under the weight of the crowd’s fierce cries. The only thing that stopped him from collapsing was the song whispering in his ear and Uthnan looking at him from the shaded branches of a tree. Were it any other creature, he would have thought her heartbroken.

* * *

 

“I really don’t think this is necessary,” Toby said.

The Iron Bull grinned at him. “Ahh, come on, Boss. We can be professional about this, right?”

“It’s for your own protection,” Josephine said.

Toby looked around at her office. Ugh. Everything was shiny and decorative. “Fine,” he snapped. No point arguing, anyways. Either way, the Iron Bull would end up being his bodyguard. It reminded him too much of the tower. His skin crawled at yet another warrior following him around. Watching him.

Something coiled and tensed in his mind. He growled.

The Iron Bull cocked a brow. “Boss?”

“Everything’s fine. Perfect.”

Toby snapped a barrier over himself and leaped from the window. The air rushed against his ears. He smiled when he heard Josephine’s scream and Iron Bulls cursing. He rolled when he met the ground, impact neatly absorbed by his barrier.

A hand slipped into his. Without even looking, he pulled Uthnan into an embrace. “You won’t leave me, right?”

Uthnan stiffened and pulled away. “You want me to stay?”

“Of course I do!”

She heaved a sigh of relief. “Yay! I want to stay too, even though I can’t teach you a lot anymore. You’re fun. Want to meet someone?”

“I’d love to.”

She led him into a secluded corner and pointed at a spirit of compassion. “Cole.”

Toby tilted his head. “You were there when…” His mind snapped and sprung and memories twinged into place. “Wait a minute, you’ve always been here.”

Cole looked at him, eyes wide. “You remember me.”

Toby nodded. “I do now. I’ve changed a lot since I last saw you. I don’t really know how, though.”

Cole smiled shyly. “I like it. I can’t see you… it’s like counting birds against the sun. All I can see is the other one. It’s too bright to see you in, but you fit perfectly. Puzzle pieces slotting into place.”

Uthnan nodded, as though her fellow spirit had said something very wise.

Toby frowned. “What other one?”

Uthnan laughed. “You know, the other one. The large, toothy one.”

“But I-“

Uthnan grabbed Cole’s arm. “We’re going to go play now.”

The two vanished. Toby growled and snapped his teeth together. He paced furiously. What other one? What the hell was happening to him?


	10. I Am Here, You Are Here, So Many People Here

His father had always made announcements over dinner. When a family member had become a templar, when a child had been born, his father could be counted on to rise to his feet and clink a glass with his knife until everyone listened to what he had to say.

In Skyhold, dinners were an interesting affair. The workers and soldiers ate in their quarters or directly on the freshly built scaffolding. Toby was supposed to eat with his advisors and inner circle (whatever that was) at 7 sharp. Josephine insisted on this as a team building exercise. Toby didn’t even attend the dinners. What was the point?

That night, he had an announcement to make at dinner. He waited until everyone had finished eating and stepped into the room. He took a deep breath and crept over to Dorian. He stood there awkwardly for a moment. He coughed to get the Tevinter’s attention. “I’m just going to borrow this,” he said and reached for Dorian’s wineglass.

Dorian smiled. “Finally decided to join us, have you? Good.”

The glass slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor. Everyone’s heads swung around.

“Uhhhh.” Toby winced. “Not how I meant to do things, but I guess that works too.” He clapped his hands together. “Okay, then. I’m sure word has spread by now about how I don’t eat anymore. Or sleep. And stuff.” Stop looking at Dorian. Stop it. Stop. He forced his head away. “Everyone was mad because I didn’t mention it earlier, so in the interest of keeping the peace there’s something you should know. According to Uthnan, I’ve got a large, toothy thing inside me.”

Silence. Cullen said, “What?”

Toby tried to smile. “Probably not in my body, though. She’s a spirit and they… well, it’s actually really fascinating how spirits see the world but that’s off topic. Just a thing in my soul. Or something.” He edged backwards. “So, I’ll look into that. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. You know, just another crazy thing. I’ll just leave you to your dessert. Do you have dessert or is it just di-“

Leliana shot up. Toby scrambled over the table and towards the nearest window. The spymaster lunged towards him. “Don’t you dare,” she shouted.

Toby snapped out a barrier. The Iron Bull’s hands scraped against it before he dived. Toby looked up and cringed. Faces poked out the open window, all staring at him in open-mouthed horror. Great. Now they all thought he was crazy. Then again, was there really a good way to tell someone that you had a toothy thing stuck in your soul, but probably weren’t an abomination that needed to be made tranquil? Frankly, he was amazed that Cullen hadn’t broken his barrier and ripped through his mind right on the spot.

He might not have the scent of lyrium about him, but a templar was still a templar.

Toby dashed through the courtyard until he spotted a secluded corner. He pressed himself against the wall and sunk to the ground. All those looks…. Perfect. They thought he was insane. As if it were his fault that shit kept happening to him. He found himself tracing a line in the stone. The song in his head rose and thrummed.

Then it exploded. Toby gasped and bit his cheek. A crescendo of sound raked through his skull. Shadows clouded his vision. It felt as though his head had split open. If he touched his head, would he feel bone and bits of brain matter? He moaned and fell back against the wall. All at once, lines of colour swam through the world.

_:I am here.:_

Toby whimpered and clung to the stone. Purples and reds clung to the rock like tendrils of ivy. Wonderingly, he traced them. Ancient magic tingled beneath his fingers. Sparks rushed through him.

_:I am awake.:_

Instinctively, he reached out towards the magic and pulled.

_:Wait, what are you doing?:_

Something was wrong. Was it sleeping? He pulled harder.

_:Seriously, don’t do that.:_

“Not now, I’m busy,” Toby muttered.

_:Great, you’re not even listening.:_

Webs of power lit up and arced through the fortress. Skyhold lit up with magic. Toby felt it drawing him in, and he let go.

Defense systems. Weapons and traps. Tricks and games. It felt so familiar. He knew this magic. He’d felt it before, but where? As though lonely, it cried out for his attention. Toby funneled his energy into it. He searched every mental nook and cranny and flung it haphazardly at the nexus of magic until he ran dry.

_:See, now look what you’ve done. I just woke up and now you’re going to be all tired.:_

Toby turned his attention to the voice.

_:… I don’t like that look. Stop it.:_

Toby sank his mental hooks into the other voice – the thing inside his head – and yanked.

_:Hey! Cut that out! Rude!:_

Toby’s mental moorings knocked loose under the flood of power. The magic just kept coming, despite the grumpy thrashing of the thing. He funneled it into the walls of Skyhold until the castle seemed to draw away from him.

His eyes snapped open. When had he closed them? Someone held him tightly and whispered fiercely into his ear. Without thinking, Toby squirmed closer and buried his head into the crook of their neck. The man holding him smelled warm and spicy. He hummed and nuzzled. Hands gently pulled them apart.

“Is he all right?” “Someone get him up.” “What just happened?” “By the Maker, he’s exhausted. Get some lyri-“

Toby’s eyes slid shut and, soothed by remnants of that strange music, he drifted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting a bit crowded in there, isn't it? Updates come as I write them, so you get what you get when you get it. 
> 
> Also, more chapters are coming soon.


	11. Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Dragons

Things were different in the fade. They always were. That was the nature of things. Buildings looked twisted. Landscapes changed. People looked decidedly other. Dragons, however, did not normally appear and tap their claws impatiently against the ground. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen this dragon before. Even though he’d never seen a dragon. Ugh.

 _:I cannot believe you just did that,:_ the dragon said. _:If you were one of my kin, I’d shake you by the scruff of your neck so hard your head would pop off.:_

Toby looked up at the great beast and sighed. He waited for a feeling of surprise or shock. He would have been happy with a little bit of fear. Nothing. Even though he tried to convince himself to be terrified, the sight of a dragon huffing impatiently at him failed to provoke the slightest reaction.

Maybe a person only had a certain amount of surprise in them. He’d probably burned through his already. “So you’re the toothy thing Uthnan was talking about, right?”

The dragon tossed its head. _:Toothy thing is not my name, human. My name is Precious.:_

“Okay, but what is it?”

The dragon fixed him with a look. _:Precious.:_

“Oh. That’s… a great name. For you. Not for me. Good job.”

Precious breathed out a cloud of smoke. It scudded and eddied around him. _:Perhaps for a human it would be odd, but dragons are named according to how important they are to their court. As the highest member of the court, I am precious. Therefore, that is my name.:_

Toby shaped a chair out of the fade and sat down. “I didn’t know dragons had courts.”

Precious bared her teeth. Toby knew, without wondering why, that this was a peaceful action. A dragon with closed lips could be working up a flame. The dragon lowered herself to the ground and folded herself up neatly, as a cat might. She tucked her wings and tail close, and fixed him with a steely gaze. _:They do not anymore. I have been sleeping for a long time, now. It has been many days since the witch awakened me.:_

“Okay, why don’t we start at the beginning. Like this: My name is Toby Trevelyan and I was born in the Free Marches. My magic manifested when I was twelve, and so on and so forth. You try.” He smiled encouragingly.

 _:I am Precious.:_ She gave him a bemused look. _:I hatched many days ago, when there was magic in the air. Once I matured I became the strongest female and surrounded myself with a court, as is my wont. I spent six lives leading my court. Then my magic ran thin and I slumbered to regain my strength. The witch awoke me and the air was different. For a time I observed her to learn about the world, for it had changed a great deal. Then a man slew her and I took flight.:_ The dragon shuddered slightly. _:I was too brash on that day. I had hoped to find others of my kind, for the witch told me that I was the only great dragon left in the world. All that remained were my lesser kin, and dragons do not react well to being ungoverned. I sought to observe the humans around me, but they fought with me. After I had dragged myself away from the battle, you found me.:_ Precious fixed him with a pleased gaze. _:You were kind to me and so I chose to live my next life as part of you.:_

He had a headache. He sighed and rubbed his temples. “Okay, let me get this straight. You’re some kind of dragon queen from a really long time ago. Right?”

_:Correct.:_

“What was that about living six lives?”

_:That is the number of times I have changed bodies.:_

“Huh?”

Precious lashed her tail. _:Once a leader among my kind dies, we enter the body of a loyal subject. Then the subject enters the leader’s old body and dies in her place. A good leader should not be lost. We are, after all, precious.:_

“Okay, then. So you jump bodies. Can you do that anytime or just when you’re about to die?”

_:It can only be done before the moment of death.:_

“Wait, I don’t remember finding a dead dragon. I think I would’ve remembered that.”

Precious looked away. Her tail lashed nervously. _:That is because the subject is supposed to enter their leader’s dying body. You did not.:_

“Gee, thanks.”

She bristled. _:I am not unpleased. You are an interesting creature and I know very little about the current state of things. Once I entered my slumber, I did not think the world would change so drastically.:_

Toby tapped a finger against his chin. “Well, high dragons do sleep for years at a time. I guess it makes sense that you’d do the same.”

_:You are speaking of the female members of my court?:_

“Yeah. Humans like to put things into categories. We call the fully grown females high dragons.”

She preened. _:Well, my category must be higher than a mere courtier. From henceforth, you will know me as Precious, higher dragon.:_

He blinked. “Okay, then. Seriously though, why don’t I remember finding a dying dragon somewhere?”

_:I am no expert on the mental capacity of humans. Perhaps you simply forgot. Perhaps you were dazzled by my brilliance.:_

He sighed. “For now, for whatever reason, we’ll go with I forgot. I’m not sure how or why I could forget something like that, but we’ll go with it for now. Could it be a side effect of sharing a body with you?”

_:Perhaps.:_

“What about the song I’ve been hearing? Is that you?”

She made an odd krrrring sound. _:Yes. That is the sound my presence creates. Have you enjoyed it?:_

Toby smiled and shook his head. “Yeah. I just have one more question. If you’ve been sharing my body for I don’t know how long, why start talking to me now? Why not just stay hidden?”

She narrowed her eyes. _:It is our body now, human. And you were smaller then.:_

“So I was a chi- hatchling?”

_:Yes. I am almost certain of it. Although you are still quite small, when I first laid eyes on you, you were as large as one of my claws.:_

Toby glanced at them. “So around five or six years old?”

_:Possibly. I am unfamiliar with the aging process of humans. In any case, I lay hidden because you lived with the humans that attempted to slay me. After that, I deemed it the wisest course of action. Your leaders would not have reacted well had they known I were there.:_

Damn it. “Okay, that must have been my brother, Gaorg, that attacked you. He’s been telling that awful story about fighting a dragon for years. Only in the story, there were three of them.” He winced. “As for the templars, you’re right. Although this is a lot to take in now, it was probably for the best.”

She krrrrred again. Toby decided that there was no way to describe that sound. It would have sounded kittenish if it weren’t so… lizardy. _:Only a fool attempts to appear stronger than he is. Far wiser to appear weaker.:_

“Yeah, my family’s full of fools. Speaking of which, how am I going to explain this to the Inquisition? They thought I was crazy earlier, but when I tell them about this, they’ll turn me tranquil.”

 _:They would not succeed. If a being harms you I will repair the damage.:_ She narrowed her eyes. _:Although, humans are alarmingly fragile. A simple blizzard managed to kill you.:_

“What now?”

She spoke slowly, as though to a child. _:Once the body takes severe damage, the soul is drawn away. This happened to you once the blizzard struck. You were swept away and your body broke on the rocks and snow. Although shocked, I managed to heal the damage and draw your soul back to the body.:_

Toby howled with laughter. “My zealots are right. I really did come back from the dead!”

Precious sat up and wrapped her tail around her feet. She lowered her head demurely. _:It was nothing special. Leaders among dragons have a great deal of magical skill and energy.:_

“Well, it was great. Thanks for that. You know what, I think we’ll get along. It’s strange, but for some reason I’m not surprised. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if you sharing my body is what made me a mage in the first place.”

_:You are mistaken, human. Whatever magic you possess does not originate from my presence. The first time you touched my magic is when you reawakened the enchantments about your territory. Against my advice, might I add.:_

“Well, I was dazed. It just felt right, you know?”

_:I do not.:_

Toby strolled up to the dragon. “Tell you what, I promise to not take from your magic without asking as long as you call me Toby.”

The dragon twitched. _:It would be improper. I shall refer to you as human as that is what you are. I shall refer to you as Inquisitor, but not Toby.:_

“Why not?”

_:It seems undignified.:_

“Please?”

The dragon shut her eyes and smoke drifted out of her nostrils. _:Henceforth, I will refer to you as Toby. Does this please you?:_

“Yes and thank you very much. I think I’d like to wake up now.”

_:I am not keeping you here.:_

Toby cast about himself with his mind, and found that she was right. All at once, he rose out of unconsciousness. As soon as he saw was waited for him, he wished he hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think anything surprises Toby anymore. Nope. If Corypheus showed up for tea all of a sudden and announced his undying devotion for bluebells, I bet Toby would roll with it.
> 
> Also, I don't care what Bioware says. People don't just not die when they're stranded in a blizzard.


	12. Minnow, Dace And Other Fish

Mother Giselle sat by his bedside. She raised a cool cloth to his forehead and said, “Are you well, Inquisitor?”

Hesitantly, Toby sat up. He raked his hair back. A dragon inside him… He didn’t feel all that different. No, nothing had changed. Only his circumstances. A smile quirked his lips. Not even that had changed. He was just aware of his circumstances . Helplessly, almost painfully, he laughed.

Mother Giselle drew back. “Inquisitor?”

“I have an ancient dragon soul living inside me.”

“Perhaps some food will help you.” She signaled to the servants and they bustled away. Presumably, some to inform people that he had woken up. Twelve people were not needed to fetch a sandwich. “Inquisitor,” she said, “You’ve been unconscious for a full day.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, that seems to keep happening to me. Just inquisition stuff. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Solas stalked into the room. Toby met his eyes and shivered. He could feel the same ancient energy about the elf that resided in the castle walls. If Solas was even an elf.

Mother Giselle looked over her shoulder at him. “Master Solas, I’m afraid that the Inquisitor is feeling… unwell.”

“You mean crazy,” Toby said helpfully.

“Of course not, Inquisitor. I merely mean that you are recovering from a ve-“

“That I’ve gone completely insane,” Toby repeated. “I don’t mind. You can say it.”

She recoiled, ever so slightly. “I would never presume.”

He shrugged. “Fine, then. I order you to say it.” Silence crackled through the room. Toby held her eyes, very deliberately. Her hands began to tremble. She rose to her feet and teetered out of the room. Toby laughed again and turned his gaze to Solas. “Are you going to say it?” Solas held his hands behind his back. The elf stood very still. Toby shrugged again and got out of bed. “Everyone will, you know. I don’t mind, though. I’ve got a sky to stitch back together. Frankly, I don’t have time to reassure my zealots. And they are zealots. Most of them haven’t even seen me, but they’d still follow me to their graves. If that’s not a zealot, I don’t know what is.”

“Perhaps the mark is having an adverse effect on you,” Solas said coolly.

“It’s not, but you probably already know that.” Toby stared at the mark. He poked at it mentally. As soon as he felt it, Precious shifted and hissed inside him. Then he looked at the walls. “It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Solas cocked a brow. “What is?”

“The mark. The castle. All of it. I can feel it. You and the mark. You and the castle. Even you and the rift, I bet. You all feel the same. You made all of this, didn’t you?”

The elf – creature – looked at him sadly. “You’ve gone mad.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m sure you didn’t mean to make a giant, evil hole in the sky. I mean, seriously, who wants a hole in the sky? Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter how it happened. You’re here, helping fix it. You’ve been helping from the very beginning. Thanks for that.”

The door opened and a lone servant stepped into the room. She held a sandwich.

Solas turned to her. “Please inform the advisors that the Inquisitor has gone mad. With careful arrangements, he will be able to remain as Inquisitor. There is no other choice.”

Toby plucked the sandwich out of her stunned fingers. “Off you go,” he said. The servant backed out of the room, eyes wide. He turned to look at Solas, munching idly. “I don’t envy you,” he said. “Do you have any idea how many secret council meetings you’ve set yourself up for? Have fun with that.” He breezed past Solas and paused in the doorway. “If there are any fun refreshments, will you save some for me?”

Solas tilted his head slightly. His demeanor had shifted slightly, as though discovering a butterfly with wings made of razorblades. “Of course, Inquisitor.”

* * *

 

“It’s strange,” Toby said. “I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

_:You’re forgetting that I can hear your thoughts. You shouldn’t be speaking aloud when addressing me.:_

“People already think I’m crazy.”

Trumpet blasts rended the air. Toby rolled his eyes. Another noble had probably arrived. They kept trickling in, just to hang around and do nothing. Toby couldn’t go one step without bumping into a silk clad Orlesian noble. All in all, it was getting very irritating. He stood awkwardly by his throne in the main hall, trying to puzzle out a way to the library that wouldn’t have him bumping into nobility.

Josephine rushed up to him, practically stumbling on her skirts. “Lord Toby, I have good news. Your sister, Dace, is here.”

“Who?”

“Really?” A woman shouted. She strode towards him. “Dace? Come on, we’re twins.”

Toby paled. “Nope.”

“What do you mean nope? I’m your twin sister.”

Toby forced the shock down and drew up a veneer of calm. “Oh. I see. Has Lord Trevelyan sent troops to aid us?” In a fleeting moment of distraction, he noted that she had the same copper hair as him.

Her brows furrowed. “What are you talking about? I brought my daughter along. This is Elena, your niece. When the circle’s dissolved you wouldn’t believe how long I looked for you. I thought you were dead. And then that horrible shit happened in Haven and I thought you were dead again, but you’re alive….” She blinked back wetness. “Toby, don’t you remember me?”

“Unless Lord Trevelyan has sent troops or supplies, I don’t see what the point of him sending one of his children over was supposed to accomplish. If he’s trying to curry favour, be sure to-“

“Stop that, he’s your father, too.”

“If that will be all, I have business,” Toby said and hurried away.

After that, he took solace in the library.

He sat by the window in a dusty nook. She had smelt like lyrium. He closed his eyes and focused on the song.

* * *

 

Someone tapped his shoulder. Reluctantly, Toby opened his eyes. Dorian stood above him, lips quirked mischievously. “Dinner time,” he said.

Toby sighed and looked out the window. Night had fallen, and stars were scattered across the sky. He noted, with wry apprehension, that there was a ring around the moon. “Trouble to come…”

“Pardon?” Dorian pulled up a chair next to him.

He gestured at the sky. “There’s a ring around the moon. It’s supposed to be bad luck.”

Dorian leaned closer to him, probably to get a better look at the moon. “So you’ve studied astronomy, then?”

He laughed weakly. “Not quite. We had a lot of books in the tower.”

“You didn’t mention you had a twin.”

Toby shrugged. With that one sentence, Dorian had changed the mood somehow. It was heavy, and oddly intimate. “Didn’t think about it. And it’s not like I really know her or anything. I’m a mage and she isn’t. I barely remember her.”

“You’re lucky to have a sister.” There was an odd catch in the Tevinter’s voice that Toby couldn’t quite identify. “When I was a child, I would have loved to have one.”

“You can have her, if you want.”

Dorian chuckled. “Oh, are we trading now? I’m not sure I have anything to give you for a sister.” His knee bumped against Toby’s. “I’ll have to think of something special.”

“I knew something bad would happen when Josephine sent that letter. One day, everything is fine. The next, a sister I’d completely forgotten about shows up. What’s wrong? You’re giving me a strange look.”

“Nothing at all. Are you coming to dinner?”

“Why?”

“For the wine, of course.”

Toby shifted in his seat. “I…. No, Dace will be there. I don’t think I can see her right now.” Toby looked the Tevinter in the eyes. Shivers crept through him. It was hard to hold his gaze for very long. “Thanks for listening, Dorian. I don’t know I’ve… I don’t usually talk to people about things.”

With that done, Toby retreated to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, this was planned form the very beginning. Even the typos.


	13. Corypheus Is Dragged To Skyhold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this.

Dace had come up right after dinner, daughter in hand. Toby settled onto his bed and fixed his sister with a cool look. “What do you want?”

She laughed. “Do I have to want something to see my dearest brother?”

“What do you want?”

She rested a hand on Elena’s shoulder. Even from the other side of the room, he could see her fingers digging into the child’s flesh. “Just a small favour.” She propelled her daughter forward. “She’s caught your curse. Be a dear and remove it, will you?”

“She’s a mage?”

Dace twitched. “Just get rid of it.” Toby watched her and waited. Finally, she crumpled. “Father said he would…. I know I haven’t been the best sister to you, but we’re family. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“Does it?”

She covered her face with her hands and spoke through her fingers. “All I want is for you to fix this. I know you can. Please.”

“The good thing about the Circles being abolished was supposed to be that I would never have to turn anyone tranquil ever again. And now you want me to turn your daughter?” He looked at her carefully, and a nagging feeling squirmed in his stomach. “Father was going to kill her, wasn’t he?”

Dace shook her head. “He wouldn’t… we’re….”

She started to cry, and Toby was lost. He knew how to comfort a crying woman, but not a crying Trevelyan. She hadn’t even cried when he’d been dragged to the Circle. Her eyelids had flickered slightly and she’d told him she was glad he was leaving. “Maybe she can just stay here?”

Her head snapped up. “No. You’d teach her _things._ ”

Toby stood up. “That’s what we’ll do then. Elena will stay here with me. I’ll train her. You can return home to Lord Trevelyan knowing that your daughter will be safe and happy.” He took Elena’s hand and swept into the hallway. She staggered slightly, looking back at her mother.

He froze when he saw Dorian. The Tevinter leaned casually against the wall and opened his mouth to say something.

Dace beat him to it. “I’d rather see my daughter _dead_ than a mage like you,” she spat.

Toby couldn’t look away from Dorian’s shocked eyes. This was like a nightmare. “Then take her home.” Even to him, his voice sounded hollow.

His sister let out a wordless shriek. “Damn you. Damn you all.” She stormed past him.

He still couldn’t look away from Dorian. Say something. Please, say something. Dorian’s mouth opened again, and suddenly Toby couldn’t bear to hear whatever it was. He did the only thing he could do to distract the Tevinter. He shoved Elena at him, turned tail and locked himself in his room.

He didn’t even pack before he stole a horse from the stables and left, Uthnan riding pillion. He did, however, leave a note on Josephine’s desk.

* * *

 

“Let me see that letter again.” Dorian snatched the letter from Cassandra’s pack.

 

_Dear everyone,_

_This letter is from Toby. There’s someone I have to get in the Hinterlands. I also wanted to make sure the refugees were okay. I’m sure there’s other stuff to do there that I don’t know about yet, so fingers crossed._

_I’ll check in with the camps and stuff so they should be able to point you in my direction. Or maybe I’ll pop into your dreams or something. We’ll see._

_P.S. I adopted Elena last night, so I’m a dad now._

_P.P.S. Do we still have camps in the Hinterlands? I’m honestly not sure._

Cassandra huffed. “Are you going to help us make camp or not?”

“I,” Dorian said, “am going to have a bath.”

He rolled his eyes and flounced towards the nearby stream. For the past week they’d been scouring the Hinterlands looking for Toby. One camp said he’d gone east. Another said they’d seen him go north just yesterday and yet another swore to the Maker he’d been going south that very afternoon. Cassandra and Iron Bull set about this task with such grim determination it brought tears of boredom to his eyes. Why did that ridiculous man insist on running off like this? It seemed he’d always be chasing Toby. In more ways than one.

He looked behind his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t wandered too far into the woods. The Hinterlands really did have a surprising amount of trees. Why couldn’t Toby ever run away into a featureless plain? Or a lovely little city with an inn? He could just make out the campfire through the leaves. Good enough. He stripped and set about washing.

Dorian let his mind wander to those ridiculous fantasies that had spiralled out of control ever since that intimate moment at the library. No, not intimate. They hadn’t even touched each other. Really, it had been frighteningly chaste so why didn’t it feel that way? Granted, the man was handsome. He had the manner of a man who had no idea just how attractive he was. Intelligent, too.

A branch cracked. Dorian grabbed his staff. Please don’t be a bear. Just his luck to fight a bear nude in the woods. _Please don’t be a bear._

Toby popped out of the woods, as excited as a small child. “Dorian! You’ll never guess what I’ve,” his voice trailed away, “seen.” He blushed furiously and whirled around. “Clothes. You have no clothes on.”

He couldn’t find it in himself to be startled or embarrassed when Toby looked so cute. He was shy. How _lovely._ Dorian leaned against his staff. “What have you seen? Anything special?” That was a mistake. Toby made an odd, choked sound and vanished into the foliage. Dorian sighed. Too much. Too much and the man fled. Too little and it went right over his head. He just needed to find the right balance of coy flirting and beating it over his thick skull.

He dried himself off with a rune, scrambled into his clothes and followed the Inquisitor.

Toby refused to look at him. “Are you…”

Dorian almost said, “Am I what?” but that would have been far too much for his adorable Inquisitor. Instead he said, “Yes.”

Toby breathed a sigh of relief and he tried very hard not to be offended. “It’s all right. It’s okay to be, um. Excited after. Just look.” He edged away and crooked a finger. “Follow me and stay quiet. Don't scare her.”

By the Maker, he looked like a wild thing. Dorian clamped down a wildly inappropriate stirring of arousal. Not now, damn it. “Her? Have you made a new friend?”

That was another mistake. Toby grinned and vanished into the foliage. He scrambled after him. Toby stopped at the edge of a cliff and pointed at something below. “See her?”

Dorian peered over the ledge and saw something moving. “What am I supposed to be looking at exactly?”

“Corypheus.” He grabbed Toby and dragged him away. Or tried too. Toby erected a barrier around himself a lazy flick of the wrist and he scrabbled against it. “That’s just what I call her. She’s really a dracolisk.” Dorian wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss him or slap him. Maybe both. “I thought we could bring her back to Skyhold.” Definitely both.

“And how are you going to do that? Walk up to her and ask her nicely?”

“I already tried that. No, we’ll have to kidnap her.”

“Oh, naturally.”

Toby grinned and leaped over the cliff. Dorian yelped and slapped a barrier around Toby before he realized that he already had one.

“Hey, you have good reflexes!” Toby called up.

“Will you stop that!”

“Can’t hear you, catching a dracolisk.”

“You can’t just-“

The dracolisk exploded out of a bush a scarce distance away from Toby and scrabbled to get away from him. The man only grinned wickedly and did…. Altogether, it was fascinating. He effectively threw the barrier Dorian had made over the creature as a sort of cage. Then, with a motion as though thrusting a sword, shaped his barrier into a leash and ‘stabbed’ it into the cage he’d created. The end result was a very angry dracolisk trapped in a bubble with an invisible leash.

It was one of the most fascinating applications of barriers that he’d ever seen. Dorian checked to make sure he wasn’t drooling. “How exceptional. How on earth did you come up with this?”

Toby gave him an odd look. “I’m good with barriers.” He started up the cliff, and stopped when the dracolisk dug its heels into the ground and threw its weight against the rear of its cage. Toby smiled, shook his head, and lifted the whole barrier contraption over his head.

“Andraste’s tits, how are you holding all that weight?”

Toby shrugged. The dracolisk hissed like a tea kettle and gave Dorian a pleading look. As though he could do anything. Nope. This man was like a storm. Either get out and enjoy the rain or run for cover.

“Let’s head back to camp. Camp’s nearby, right?”

* * *

 

Toby slammed his barrier contraption onto the ground loud enough to make an audible thud. The dracolisk screeched furiously and Cassandra and Iron Bull leaped out of their tents, weapons in hand. “I’m going to keep her,” he announced.

Dorian sighed. “It’s remarkable,” he said, “how many of my nightmares start this way.”

The dracolisk screeched again.

Toby sighed happily. “Oh, isn’t she wonderful?”

Cassandra dropped her sword. “Maker’s breath, put that thing down.”

Iron Bull said, “You ran off to catch a dracolisk? Wait, that thing is a _she?_ ”

Toby laughed and elbowed him. “Don’t be rude, of course she is. And her name is Corypheus.”

Iron Bull groaned. “You really need to stop naming things that.”

“What?”

“It’s also the name of his horse.”

Toby only grinned and slid easily into the barrier. “Never.” He booped the snapping creature on the snout. The dracolisk immediately tried to tear his arm off and he leapt back out, leash still in hand. “Frisky, isn’t she? Well, let’s head back to Skyhold.”

He strode confidently towards the castle, dracolisk grumbling, but walking relatively placidly nonetheless. They threw camp together in record time – two minutes – and dashed after him, still rubbing sleep from their eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEEN WAITING SO LONG YOU GUYS!!!


	14. Things Toby Is Not Allowed To Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How have we not done this already?

“Oh, no, don’t put her in the stables,” Toby said to a terrified groom. “Just set a post right here in the training ring. I’ll start right now.”

“But the soldiers train there?” The groom said. It was probably meant as a protest, but it sure as hell didn’t come out that way.

Toby shrugged and put up a skin-tight barrier around himself. “They can still train in here if they really want to.” Then he collapsed the barrier-contraption around the dracolisk and the groom bodily fled. The dracolisk tried to jump the fence and crashed into a hastily-erected barrier Toby slapped down over the training ring in a large dome.

The soldiers did not want to train with the dracolisk.

Dorian sighed dramatically. Toby didn’t seem to notice. Or more likely he had, but was ignoring him. “That beast is going to kill you. I can’t watch this.”

He did. So did the Chargers and a few off-duty soldiers. They passed along cheap swill and laughed at the Inquisitor’s attempts to soothe the dracolisk. Toby would smile easily and meander close to the creature. At a certain distance, it – she – would lunge, snap and inevitably smash its teeth against Toby’s barrier. Dorian winced every time.

The crowd shrank as time passed. Every now and then a straggler would join, but as the sky darkened it grew apparent to Dorian that soon he would be the only one left. He leaned forward, ale sloshing a bit in his cup, and examined Toby closely. The auburn-haired mage had not tired. He still had that infuriating grin on his face. It was as though he was playing with a puppy instead of trying to tame a wild, carnivorous beast. The dracolisk trembled with nerves and exhaustion.

Josephine stamped her foot beside him. “He was supposed to be in my office _hours_ ago.”

Dorian didn’t even spare her a glance. “Hmm?”

“The list, Dorian, the list.”

Oh. “I’ll get him.”

He did his best to stroll nonchalantly over to the Inquisitor and that horrible beast. He ended up leaning against the barrier. Toby cooed at the dracolisk. Dorian cleared his throat. Toby launched himself at the reptilian fiend and it screeched and danced awkwardly. Inevitably, the mage latched himself around the dracolisk’s neck and grinned wildly. “Got him!” Toby shouted.

“Will you stop that,” Dorian snapped.

Toby released the creature, which immediately sprinted to the other end of the paddock. The man had no shame. “Oh, Corypheus is a sweetheart. He would never hurt me.”

The dracolisk cowered and made an odd wheezing sound. It threw Dorian a look that said, “Please help me, dear Maker this man is insane.” He was inclined to agree.

“We’ve called a meeting. Josephine has something very important to show you.”

Toby walked right through his own barrier – Maker how did he do that? – and nodded. “Okay. I think Corypheus needs a break, anyways.”

“That creature needed a break four hours ago, but that’s beside the point. Shall we?”

Together, he and Josephine nearly frog-marched the man into the war room.

Cassandra, Solas, Leliana, Josephine and Cullen were arranged on one side of the table. Dorian locked the door behind Toby.

Josephine stood up and took a sheaf of parchment from her pocket. “Lord Toby, in the name of co-operation and good faith, we’ve put together a list of modifications we feel are-“

“Oh,” Toby said. “It’s another ‘what not to do’ list.”

Leliana’s eyes narrowed. “Another?”

"Haven't we done this already? I feel like we have."

_"Toby."_

Toby shrugged. “Well….”

“Item one,” Josephine said. “Do not run away again.” She gave the Inquisitor a pleading look. “Really, Lord Toby, you promised you wouldn’t.”

Toby tilted his head slightly. “I left a note.”

Josie shook her head. “That is not good enough. Wake us up next time. No matter what. Item two, stop telling people a dragon is living inside your body.”

“But it’s true. Are you saying I should lie?”

“I am not saying you should lie, only that it is making visiting dignitaries feel somewhat… awkward.”

“They think I’m crazy.”

“No one said that.”

“I could be. You never know.” Dorian was almost positive he was joking. Almost 70% positive.

Josie shook her head. “Item three, stop throwing yourself off cliffs, ledges, towers, windows, etc. This is not up for discussion.”

Toby laughed. “It’s perfectly safe if I have a barrier. I’m good with barriers.”

“No,” everyone said.

“But-“

“Prohibited,” Josie said. Firmly.

“Item number four, stop referring to the soldiers as zealots.”

“They are, though.”

“They’re your troops,” Cullen said.

Toby shrugged. “Earlier, Iron Bull set me up in this crazy disguise and I stood right next to these guys and asked them about the Inquisitor. They didn’t even know it was me. Look, all I’m saying is that if you want to follow a total stranger to the death than you’re probably a zealot.”

Josie sighed. “Lord Toby, please. No more.”

“Can I go now?”

“Sit down.” Toby sighed and slunk into a chair. He drummed his heels against the floor and pouted like a child. “Next item, Elena must be returned to her mother. You can’t simply kidnap a child.”

Toby smiled sharply. “I didn’t kidnap her. I adopted her. She’s very happy here.”

“She’s distraught!”

Toby snorted and waved a hand. “Everyone is at first. She’ll get used to it.”

“Bu-“

“Guys, I’ve been a First Enchanter for years. Part of the job is getting kidnapped children to feel at home. Trust me. She’ll be fine.”

“The templars don’t kidnap children,” Cullen snapped.

Toby’s gestures turned languid. “Of course they do. What else do you call it when a child is taken away from their families and locked up in a tower? Relocation? Look, if you really want me to take her back home, I’ll turn her tranquil right now.”

“How could you say such a thing?” Solas said.

Toby fixed them all with a look. “Like I said, First Enchanter for years. That’s another part of the job. Elena stays here or I make her tranquil and that’s all I have to say about it. And don’t think I can’t do it. I can. From any distance.” He leaned back in his chair. “Send her home and Lord Trevelyan will send us a nicely worded letter. Something along the lines of, ‘thanks for sending us this apostate, we were wondering where she went.’ Also her head. And Dace’s. Still want to send her home or are you going to let me do what I’m going to do in the end anyways?”

Josie let out a soft, shocked sound. “Lo-“

“Next. Item.”

Toby must have been exaggerating. Or joking. No other explanation. Was it really that bad here? Dorian knew that southern mages were treated, but having it thrown into your face was…. He caught sight of the hard light in Toby’s eyes and tried not to shudder.

Josie raised the parchment up again. “Very well, then. Next item. Please don’t bring back any more exotic animals without first consulting Dennet.”

“Fair enough.”

“Really?”

“What? I can be reasonable.” Dorian did his best to stifle a giggle.

“Does that mean you will also not wander the halls at night telling people you’re a ghost?”

“Nope. I like to watch them panic.”

“They panic because you shouldn’t be wandering the halls at night.”

“Can I tell them I’m a trapped spirit left over from Skyhold’s earlier days as a brothel/torture palace?”

Solas groaned. Josie said, “Absolutely not. Prohibited. That segways nicely into our next item, actually. You must stop telling our scholars to drop everything and study the paintings and history of Skyhold. Really, Lord Toby, we’ve been over this already and we haven’t found anything.”

“Yeah, because of Mr. Ass-Castle.”

“We refer to our teammates by their names. And Solas is not hiding evidence of any such things!”

“Not that you know. Because Mr. Ass-Castle’s hiding it.”

“Lord Toby!”

Toby grinned and said, “It’s a pet name.”

“It’s not,” Solas said.

“We’re secret lovers.”

“We’re not.”

Toby got up and wound his arms around the grumbling elf’s neck. “It’s okay, lover. We’ve kept it secret long enough.”

“We’re not lovers.”

Toby raised a fist to the sky and proclaimed, “Our love is a fiery passion that will sweep the land!”

Solas twisted out of his grip and stood directly behind Cullen. “Stop that.”

Toby danced towards Josie and snatched the list from her fingers. “Welp, looks like that’s it. Good talk, guys.” He casually set it on fire and let the burning parchment fall to the floor.

Josie yelped and stamped out the flames before it damaged her carpet. “I had this imported!”

Toby dashed out the door. Then he backpedaled until he stood directly in the doorway. “Our first time, Solas came to me in a dream and we made sweet love in a field of daffodils.”

Solas threw a book at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dorian: Wait, are you two really secret lovers?  
> Solas: *Sets Dorian on fire*  
> Josie: Not on the carpet! What part of imported do you monsters not understand???


	15. You Don't Know How Long I've Been Waiting For This Chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: Toby straddles Dorian in bed. Also, there are dirty elvish limericks.

TOBY POV

_:Perhaps some rest?:_

“You know how I feel about sleep.”

_:It can’t hurt.:_

“No. Things don’t change. They never change.”

_:They meant well.:_

“That makes it worse.”

Toby sneezed. The basement was dusty. Very dusty. The library hidden in the bowels of Skyhold was little more than a dust trap. Dorian would like it. He squashed that thought down. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

_:What do you think Solas is?:_

“Thank you. And I still don’t know. Old, I guess. A really old, crotchety, old man.”

_:You said old three times.:_

“Because that’s how old he is. And stubborn. If I’m not bothered by you, I don’t know what he thinks he’s hiding that’ll tick me off so bad.”

_:I have already told you about his… followers.:_

“I know, I know. Spies and whatnot. You’ve got a very good eye for who’s loyal to whom.” That pleased her. He could feel it. “Why don’t we fuck with them a bit?”

_:That would not be wise.:_

“So? At this point I’m hoping to annoy him into telling me the truth.”

_:If anyone could manage that, it would be you.:_

“Thank you.”

_:I am uncertain as to how that was complementary, but you are most welcome.:_

Toby giggled. “I have the best idea.”

_:Spirits help us all.:_

* * *

 

Toby practically skipped through Skyhold. He held a stack of papers firmly under his arm. “Okay, who’s our next target?”

_:The stableboy. There.:_

He snuck up on the elf and poked him in the back. The elf yelped and whirled around. Toby stuck the letter into the stableboy’s mouth. “Hush and give that to Solas, okay? Tell him it’s a present from his secret lover.”

_:This is childish.:_

“Shut up, Precious. No, not you. Bye. Who’s next?”

* * *

 

By nighttime, he had run out of papers. He waited in his room.

_:You realize how concerned I’m getting? This isn’t like you.:_

“Sure it is,” Toby said. “You need to relax. I’m just having a bit of fun.”

There was a moment of thoughtful silence. _:I have an excellent idea. Why don’t we slay a dragon? It would certainly frighten your advisors.:_

Toby perked up immediately. “Let’s go!”

_:Wait! Take a team with you. Now.:_

“But-“

:Now.:

* * *

DORIAN POV

Dorian woke up when something heavy sat on top of him. He yelped and his eyes snapped open. Reflexive sparks died from his fingertips when he realized it was Toby. The man had, for reasons beyond comprehension, decided to straddle him and bounce up and down right on top of his bladder. He waved cheerfully. “Wake up, Dorian. We’re going to kill a dragon!”

“What? I’m not sure I heard you correctly seeing as you’re crushing me.”

Toby smiled bashfully and scrambled off him. “Sorry, I just got really excited. Come on, let’s get the others. We should get everyone. It’s like a road trip!”

Dorian propped himself up on an elbow and tried to ignore the madness of whatever was happening. Had Toby always been like this? He had seemed so … different when they had first met. The Toby in Redcliffe had been collected and cool. Nothing like this. “Why don’t you stay here,” He found himself saying, “While I get the others.”

“Okay. I’ll go saddle up. Think I can ride Corypheus?”

Right. That horrid beast. “Good idea. You go do that.”

Toby grinned again and dived out the window. Dorian groaned and shuffled around his room gathering his things. It was far too early for this nonsense. Slay a dragon. No doubt the man was serious. Who on earth could be counted on for this? Who wouldn’t try to strangle him?

He ended up gathering Solas, Varric and Iron Bull. He hadn’t the courage to wake up Cassandra. He had opened her bedroom door, seen her nestled into the covers clutching one of Varric’s steamy bodice-rippers, quietly shut the door and gleefully stored away the mental image for later use. Oh, the mocking that would be done. But that could wait until later.

The team he’d put together had been, thankfully, largely unsurprised. Exasperated, but overall okay. Varric had muttered, “By the Maker, it’s Hawke all over again,” but that was the only complaint. Grimly, they walked towards the stables.

They found Toby perched atop the dracolisk, which trembled underneath him and wailed frightfully. The creature gave Dorian a tearful look, and he had to physically restrain himself from soothing the poor thing. Their Inquisitor’s smile was viciously triumphant. “Off to the Hinterlands!” He rode towards the gate before they had even saddled their horses.

* * *

 

Toby POV

The battle should have been planned out. The territory should have been thoroughly examined and the dragon itself studied before any move toward it was made.

This is not what Toby did. What he did was go into a white hot rage upon seeing a dragon in his territory. His territory. The Inquisition had claimed this land, and what was this idiotic lizard thinking trespassing? He felt a nervous twinge from Precious, but mentally slapped it away.

He charged. The battle blurred together in a haze of smoke and flame. His team shouted for him to get away, take cover, run, but that didn’t matter. He gave in completely to the thrill of battle and luxuriated in the blood rushing through his veins. Trespasser. Encroacher. Enemy. Rip its throat out.

The dragon threw its head back and half-limped, half-scrambled up a cliff. His team fell back, breathing hard. Toby snarled and set after the dragon. Throughout the climb up the rocks, he was dimly aware of his team trying to keep up. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was tearing the intruder to pieces. How dare she enter his land!

The dragon, wild-eyed opened its maw. Toby drew back on memories of training with Uthnan and summoned a blade constructed of hardened, sharpened barriers. He lunged forward and skewered the beasts throat. He punctured the jugular and hot blood ran down his blade and dripped onto the ground. He threw his head back and screamed and howled and roared with laughter. With wild, furious delight at the kill.

Then something rooted deep in his mind tore free. Precious. _:Goodbye, little human. Remember that you have an ally among my people, and allow me to thank you for sheltering me all these years.:_

He did not – could not – respond. For a moment, his mind shivered. Aching and bare. Alone. So alone. He was dimly aware of a scuffled footstep and hands pulling at him. He released the blade and it dissolved away. Faces. Such odd faces. He couldn’t quite put a name to them. He spasmed and collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, Toby. Why you fainting all the time? Take your mind-altering alterations like a man!


	16. For A Fun Family Exercise, Try To Find The Exact Moment Toby Went Insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sane!Toby returns. Yay!

When he woke up, he was alone. Toby sat up carefully and looked around his room. He quietly panicked. It was the kind of panicking that he’d done all his life. Quiet and firmly suppressed so that no one would dare to guess. The First Enchanter could not panic. Neither could the Inquisitor. He recalled Solas’ sad face. “The Inquisitor has gone mad.” He tried to pinpoint the exact moment it had started, and found he could not. No, it had been a slow slide into insanity. One that would never happen again. He made a mental note to watch out for people with two souls in one body. It was not a state conducive to rational thinking. He had even summoned up a barrier-blade in front of his companions. It was too much to hope they hadn’t seen.

His reputation, however, was now that of a madman. No point in trying to fix that. He’d work with it instead. Perhaps use it as a tool? Yes, that would work. Then again, it was extremely unlikely that Leliana would have allowed that idea to spread. No, it would not affect him all that much. He would certainly have scrutinizing eyes on him, but he was used to that. Business as usual.

He found quill and parchment and wrote out a list.

  1. Learn about magic present in Skyhold. What is its purpose and can it harm us? Ask Solas.
  2. Learn about Corypheus (enemy).
  3. Ensure mages are being treated well.
  4. See to it that Ele



He stopped writing. Elena. Shit. How could they possibly let him adopt a child? Who looked at a deranged madman and said, “Obviously, it is perfectly alright for this man to adopt a child. Heck, let’s put him in charge of a whole orphanage! Bring on the children!”

He winced and ran a hand through his hair. Dorian would know where the child was. Hopefully. He distinctly remembered shoving the young girl at the Tevinter. Toby changed into clean robes – these ones were bloodstained – and slowly made his way towards the library.

Dorian sat in his corner, body curled around a book. The twinge in his gut startled him. Ah. Attraction. Wonderful. Something he hadn’t fully realized when he had been mad. Toby took a deep breath. No problem. He’d just ignore it and hopefully it would go away. He approached Dorian, who immediately leapt up upon seeing him. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asked.

“No, I’m fine.”

Dorian took his hand. “Nonsense. You always say that right before fainting.”

Toby slipped away. “I really am fine. I’ve recovered completely. No, I really need to know where Elena is.”

“What are you talking about? Fine? _Fine?_ ” His voice rose a notch. “You collapse again and then just saunter down here claiming you’re perfectly healthy? I don’t think so.” Dorian leaned over the edge of the rotunda and shouted, “Solas! Get up here. Toby’s awake.”

Footsteps sounded up the staircase immediately. Toby winced internally and did his best to smile. Solas strode up to him, eyes narrowed. “He must be examined,” the elf said crisply.

“Unless someone takes me to Elena,” Toby said coolly, “I’m going to dive right out that window.” He wouldn’t, of course, but they didn’t know that.

Dorian and Solas shared a look between them. “Very well,” Solas said. “This way.”

Toby allowed himself to be led through the twisting maze that was Skyhold. They ended up in a corridor filled with rooms for visiting dignitaries. Solas stopped at a marked door. “We don’t see her that much,” Dorian said. “She hides away in here.”

Toby shook his head. These two really had no idea how to handle children. He glanced at the mark on the door, and realized that it had probably been made by a young mage having a meltdown and accidently throwing shards of ice about. He wrapped a skin-tight barrier around himself. “Wait out here.”

He cracked open the door. Elena was huddled by the empty fireplace. He knocked on the door. She turned around, eyes wide. Her lips whitened when Toby entered the bedroom. He was careful to leave the door wide open. An escape route if she needed one. Well, not really, but it was important they she feel that way. “Are you alright?”

Her face scrunched up. She was about to cry. Toby had seen too many children like this to not know it was about to happen. All she needed was a little push. “I want my mama,” she said.

He stepped closer. “She’s not coming.”

She curled in on herself. Her hands fisted into her clothes. “Mama .... Does she hate me for….” She looked up at him pleadingly.

He hated this moment. It never got any easier. But he knew what would help her in the end. “Yes.”

Dorian and Solas gasped softly behind him, but he ignored that because a small, hurt girl threw herself at him. He held her gently, even as she beat against him with her fists, wailing loudly. He stroked her hair, and she broke under the weight of that small kindness. He had dim memories of growing up under his father’s roof. She had likely never had her hair stroked before.

She clung to him and sobbed. He lowered himself to the ground and pulled her into his lap. “Dorian, light the fire.”

Dorian collapsed beside him and flicked his hand. A fire sprung to life. Solas sat, very cautiously, on the bed. Toby said nothing and let her cry. “I tried not to,” She said into his robes. “I’m a bad person.”

“You’re not,” Toby said.

She shook her head. “I’m….”

“Having magic doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“It _does_.”

“It can even be beautiful.”

_“No.”_

He eased her back and gestured towards the fireplace. Her lower lip jutted out and she sullenly turned towards the flames. “It can grow flowers from coal, you know.”

“Can not.”

Toby strengthened the barrier around his hand and reached into the fireplace. He took an ember and drew it out. Carefully, he brought it to his lips and blew on it. He held it out to Dorian. “Now you.”

Dorian blinked hard. He blew on the ember.

Toby held it out to Solas. The elf gave him an inscrutable look and leaned forward to blow on the ember.

Toby nodded solemnly and presented the ember to Elena. “Your turn.”

Her lip trembled, as though about to cry again. She half-blew, half-sobbed onto it.

“And now we drop it on the ground.” He let it slip from his fingertips. The instant it touched the ground, he wove an illusory web around it. Elena’s eyes went wide when this web cracked and sprouted. With a minute gesture, he grew it into a budding flower. Pointed, red-veined leaves uncurled from the stem. The bud burst open in a shower of sparks and petals unfurled like sails straining for a breeze.

Elena crept closer with a soft, shocked sound. “It’s so pretty.” She twisted uneasily and said wistfully, “I could never do that.”

He snatched her back into his lap and startled a laugh out of her. “Stay here with me,” he said. “I’ll teach you how to grow all kinds of flowers.”

“Really?”

“Red ones, green ones, purple ones. How does that sound?”

She sniffled a bit and wiped her nose on his sleeve. “Okay.” Toby grinned. He still had it. “Can I keep the room?”

He laughed. She was a clever little minx whether she realized it or not. No doubt once she came out of her shell, she’d be able wrap most grown-ups around her finger with a doe-eyed look and a cute smile. “Naturally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though, I can't believe more people didn't comment on his slow descent into madness. I know I (sort of) disguised it, but still.


	17. Toby Is An Emotion Ninja

Toby sat at the war table. Josephine, Leliana and Cullen looked at him cautiously. Of course, he couldn’t expect any less. He had, after all, been insane for an unspecified amount of time. He tapped at the map. “What I find suspicious,” he said, “is that there has been no word from the templars.”

“Why should there be?” Cullen asked.

“Because we’ve raised an army of mages and I’ve never known templars to agree with that sort of thing,” he said coolly. “Speaking of templars, it occurs to me that having my phylactery out and about in the world is a terrible security risk. Leliana, see to it.”

She nodded. “Understood, Inquisitor.”

“Excellent. I’d like to organize a party to search Therinfall Redoubt. That seems to be where the templars have concentrated their forces. The people have always seen templars as a stabilizing force, unbelievable as that sounds. If we’re going to secure our presence in this region, we need more troops and we need the people to feel secure around us. Having a troop of templars join us is, unfortunately, the best way to do that.”

Josephine held up her clipboard. “Shall I organize a group of ambassadors to make the negotiations?”

“No. I will go myself.” Toby smiled faintly. “With a team, of course. We’ll leave in a week. Dismissed.”

He was the first to leave the room. He made a beeline for Elena’s room. She sat in front of the fireplace, but turned to look up at him when he opened her door. He motioned for her to follow him. An open space would be best for this.

The gardens hadn’t even been touched yet. They were still busy repairing the castle itself, and hadn’t touched a few of the minor buildings yet. He led Elena to the gardens and said, “Are you ready for your first lesson?” She nodded. “I find it easiest to start my students with primal magic. It gives them a good grounding and a solid base to branch off into the more esoteric branches. You must understand, Elena, that magic is instinctual to you. Shirk your lessons and you won’t be able to control it.”

“Okay.”

“Different personalities tend to have easier times with certain elements. I find that my logical students favour fire, while the emotional ones favour ice. Lightning tends to suit everyone. Do you know why this is?”

She shook her head. Toby stood there, and when she realized he was waiting for more she hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know.”

“It takes a great deal of patience to control fire.” He summoned a wisp of flame in his hand, and Elena perked up a little. “Become scared or worried and it will blaze out of control. Ice, on the other hand is less mutable.” He closed his fist over the flame and let ice coat his fingers. “It needs more of a push and if you lose control or get distracted it won’t change. You’ve had some recent experience with ice, I take it?”

Elena flushed. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be. If you hadn’t had any experience with the elements, I would have made you take a test.” He lowered his voice to a playful whisper. “You wouldn’t have time to study.”

Her eyes widened. “But I don’t have to take one, right?”

He shaped a ball out of ice and held it out to her. “No. You do, however, have to shape this into a cube. You’ll find it easier to work with existing ice than to conjure it yourself.”

She took it, and immediately yelped and dropped it on the floor. “It’s freezing!”

“It’s ice.”

She knelt down beside the cube. “Sorry. How do I ….?”

He knelt so they were face to face. “Reach out with your mind and touch it. Can you feel its shape?” He waited. Eventually, she nodded. “Good. Now push.”

The ball rolled away. She gasped and chased after it. “I didn’t mean to do that!”

“Just try again.”

“What if it melts?”

“I’ll make a new one.” She threw him a despairing look and he stared at her. She fidgeted a bit, ice at her feet and sat beside it with a sigh. She held her hands above it to help focus her energies. “Don’t gesture,” he snapped. “It’s a terrible habit.”

He looked up and saw something that he had no idea how to react to. Dorian leaned against a decrepit wall watching him. There was an odd look in his eyes that sent shivers down Toby’s spine. But, good ones? He should probably stay away from the Tevinter. What he did do was pace towards him.

Dorian nodded towards Elena. “I had no idea you were such a good teacher.”

“Another one of a First Enchanter’s duties.” There was a pause between them. Dorian seemed to be waiting for him to say something. He had no idea what to do with his hands.

“I had no idea you were so talented. I wonder what other talents you have.”

Toby found his mind going in very, very bad directions. Curse this man. He always found some way to be distracting. He couldn’t afford to be tripping over himself every time Dorian walked by. It was unreasonable to be angry, since there was no way Dorian could possibly know about his preferences. He was probably just trying to make friends. Stupid, stupid man. Instead of thinking about whether that last thought was directed at Dorian or himself, he stared at the Tevinter. Intensely. Then he realized what he was doing. He waved a hand wildly at the overgrown garden. “We should plant herbs.”

Dorian looked at him as though he’d gone crazy. Again. “Herbs?”

“What’s wrong with herbs?”

He waved a manicured hand at the garden. “I didn’t know you were so passionate about gardening.” He said ‘gardening’ the same way he might have said ‘bacterial slime.’

He wasn’t. “Oh, yeah. I love plants. They… grow.”

Dorian cocked a brow and grinned wickedly. “Oh? Go on.”

He froze. “They’re just fascinating… things.” He motioned awkwardly with his hands. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was trying to portray. Based on the gestures he was making, he could have been inventing a type of sign language right on the spot.

Dorian stepped closer. “Perhaps we should talk later?”

Toby didn’t even try to dissect the undercurrent or the look in the man’s eye. He heaved a sigh of relief and nodded dumbly. “Yeah. Yes. I’m, you know.” He gestured at Elena.

Dorian caught his hand, and Toby’s mind screeched to a halt. “For the love of Andraste,” he said. “Stop waving your hands about before you hurt yourself.”

Toby had no idea when the Tevinter left. Or where he had went. He stared mutely at nothing in particular and tried to get his brain working again. He knew he must have clamped down on attraction before. He just couldn’t remember if it had been that hard. Still, though, he’d done a good job of hiding his growing attraction. He nodded in satisfaction. Dorian didn’t realize a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toby is so stealthy, it boggles the mind. He could be an EMOTION NINJA. You know, like a regular ninja. But he hides his emotions instead of himself. Yay! *smoke bombs away*


	18. Yes, Toby, You Should Be Worried

“You’re not going to ride that horrid beast of yours?” Dorian asked.

Toby sighed and stepped away from the horse he had been saddling. It was a sweet-tempered mare that would be easy to ride. “I was just making sure her saddle was tight enough,” he said. He approached his dracolisk warily. It looked at him just as warily and warbled softly. Startlingly enough, it bumped its head into his shoulder and mouthed at his hair. “Okay, we’ll be friends then,” he told it. “Just don’t throw me.”

Vivienne, Dorian and Solas rode alongside him. He didn’t feel that confident about taking so many mages to a fortress full of templars, but they insisted on coming and no one else could be spared. Josephine had managed to draft the others into helping with the repairs or training the troops. During the journey, Toby insisted on sharing a tent with Solas. The idea of sleeping next to Dorian was something he tried very hard not to think about. Only trouble lay down that road. Dorian was far too smart to get himself involved with a mage like Toby. Dorian deserved someone better, not someone who spoke to spirits and had a piece of the fade stuck in his palm.

The night his plan fell apart was the night Therinfall Redoubt was silhouetted in the sky. Another day’s journey and they’d be there. It was strange, he mused, to be riding towards an army of templars. Uthnan and Solas spoke softly to each other while they made dinner. Toby didn’t know which surprised him more, that Solas could cook or that Uthnan was trying to help.

During dinner, Solas and Vivienne got into an exhausting conversation about proper posture while spellcasting. Toby didn’t bother trying to pay attention. Afterwards, Solas said, “I’m going to be sharing a tent with Vivienne tonight.”

“What?” Toby said. “You hate Vivienne.”

Solas spoke as though he were being unreasonably childish. “I don’t hate her, we were just having a lively debate, and I’d hate to cut it short.” The elf walked away before he could answer.

Toby looked at Dorian’s tent as though he were staring down a dragon. Dorian was washing up. If he hurried, he could change and be in bed before he finished.

Sure enough, Toby had bundled himself up before Dorian lifted the tent flap. Dorian saw him there and raised a brow. “It was Solas’ idea,” Toby said. Dorian nodded wordlessly. He turned around to give the Tevinter privacy while he changed. He lay in his bedroll and was acutely aware of clothes rustling in the dark. A thread of magic whispered through the tent. Toby propped himself up on an elbow and glanced in his companion’s direction. Dorian was tracing a modified fire rune onto his bedroll to warm it up. “You shouldn’t be using magic so much,” Toby found himself saying.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m so good at it.”

He sighed and turned to face Dorian. Despite the sarcasm, he could read the slight confusion on the man’s face. Of course he wouldn’t understand. He was from Tevinter. “Don’t use any magic while we’re at Therinfall Redoubt. The place is crawling with templars.”

“I certainly hope so. It’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”

Toby shook his head. “The templars won’t like it if they see you using magic.”

Dorian laughed. “Lots of people don’t like me. It’s a burden I must bear.” He put a hand on his chest and gazed soulfully into thin air, as though regretting such a cruel fate.

How to explain this? “Templars are…. There was a boy in my tower. He was still young and trusted the templars. He had just passed his harrowing and he was so proud.” He hesitated a moment. Dorian motioned for him to continue. He tried to keep his voice even. “One day, he was late for breakfast. By the time he got to the tea, it was cold. He used his magic to warm it.” He smiled faintly. He couldn’t bring himself to look Dorian in the face. “I’ve seen you do the same thing. The templars saw him and dragged him off. They raped him and broke three of his ribs. I know this because I was the one who healed him afterwards.” He met Dorian’s eye, and the shock there made his insides squirm. “Be careful. You can’t trust them.”

Dorian’s voice was soft. “I had no idea it was that bad. I thought it was … It’s not like that back home.”

“I know. I just want you to be careful.” He idly caught Dorian’s hand and traced the lines in his palm with a finger. His hands were smooth. He’d never done a day’s hard work in his life. “If you were hurt, I don’t know what I’d do.” Toby realized what he was doing and checked himself. This mood was dangerous. Too dangerous.

The other man gazed at him with darkened eyes. He drew closer. “Toby, I-“

He pulled back, momentarily horrified at his own idiocy. “I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear that. Good night.” Toby lay down and rolled away. He cursed himself, cursed Dorian for somehow bringing this out in him and cursed Solas for putting him in this situation.

He heard movement from behind him. “I promise,” Dorian whispered, “that I’ll be careful. No magic while we’re in Therinfall.” Something wound into his hair, and he startled before he realized it was Dorian’s fingers. “Should I stop?”

“No.” His eyes fluttered shut. He was too anxious to resist this. He didn’t know how, but this man’s touch soothed something deep inside him. “It feels good.”

He felt the Tevinter settle carefully against him. Strangely enough, he liked it. This strange, wonderful, kind man could lie as close to him as he wanted if he only kept running his fingers through Toby’s hair. “It’ll be all right.” His breath puffed against Toby’s neck. He let out a soft, contented sigh that he desperately hoped Dorian hadn’t heard. Slowly, he relaxed in Dorian’s arms and fell asleep.

* * *

 

Toby normally woke up slowly in the morning. An arm had curled around him sometime during the night and he was deliciously warm. Unthinkingly, he shuffled closer to the warmth and nuzzled. This was a good way to wake up. He should wake up like this every morning. Someone shook him gently. “Time to get up,” the someone whispered in his ear.

He whimpered and squirmed closer to the warmth. Thoughts began to click together in his head. Sleepily, he peered at the person next to him. Dorian’s lips tilted into a delicious smirk that sent sparks tingling down his spine. Although the blankets covered them both, they didn’t cover nearly enough. The man next to him was naked. It was obvious in the way he idly lifted his arm to a spot where Toby could have pinned it, if he completely lost all self-control and decency. As it was, he couldn’t stop his eyes from burning a trail down the curve of Dorian’s neck and the sculpted planes of his chest. If he just moved his hand an inch forward, he might encounter a texture like hot silk. The blankets pooled low – too low – around his hips. His eyes snagged on the smooth taper of his waist.

Awkwardly, he sat up, though he couldn’t tear his eyes away. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have taken advantage.”

Dorian chuckled. “You didn’t. I was the one who initiated.” His eyes trailed up and down Toby’s form. “I can be quite good at that.”

He tried not to blush. He realized that there might be a chance that Dorian was attracted to him. His attempt not to blush was a dismal failure. He nodded mutely. “We should probably go. Templars are waiting. I mean, probably. I don’t know if they know we’re coming. Josephine probably sent a letter.”

Dorian nodded sagely and made a show of turning around so he could change. When Toby stumbled out of his tent, his cheeks stubbornly refused to stop reddening.

Vivienne made no comment, Uthnan was chasing a dragonfly in circles and Solas looked oddly satisfied. Toby threw himself down beside the elf and wolfed down breakfast as though he was starving. Dorian hadn’t left the tent yet, thank the Maker. “Good morning,” Solas said.

He grunted.

“Did you sleep well?”

Dorian strolled out of the tent. “He slept wonderfully, if you must know.”

Solas and Dorian shared a look between them that Toby couldn’t even begin to decipher. They seemed very pleased with themselves, and he wondered if he should be worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really not that strange that Solas is matchmaking. How can he work with Dorian mooning over the Inquisitor right above his head? Think how distracting that would be!


	19. How Uthnan Got A Dozen Or So Chickens

He had expected a fight. He had expected the templars to huff and snipe at him. He hadn’t expected to be picking his way through a battlefield. Templar corpses lay everywhere. Cut. Diced. Hacked to pieces. Dorian shivered. “Someone really didn’t like templars.”

Solas knelt by a corpse. “These are sword wounds. Who could have done this?”

Toby grimaced. “I don’t know, but I think we should find out. There’s a bad feeling in the air. A sort of aura.” His voice trailed off. “Uthnan?” She hooked an arm through his and led him up a flight of stairs. The others followed him, weapons drawn.

He wove his way through Therinfall, picking his way around the worst of the gore. Corpse-flies buzzed and hummed and the copper-scent of blood flooded his nostrils. It proved impossible to move without stepping through blood, and they left sticky footprints all the way through the abandoned fortress. A whining pricked at his senses and Toby reflexively shuttered his mind. He looked around carefully until he realized where it was coming from. He strode towards a locked door and, with a flick of his wrist, blasted it open.

Solas prowled into the room, scowling. “Red lyrium. They’ve refined it, the fools.”

“I suppose that’s how Corypheus makes red templars,” Toby said. “But there’s something else.” He pivoted, trying to locate the source of his discomfort. “I think,” he said slowly, “that a demon’s been here. A powerful one. I just can’t pinpoint it.”

“You mean the envy demon?” Uthnan asked.

He wasn’t even surprised. “You could have said something earlier.”

She giggled. “I can feel it in the walls. Envy had a lot of fun here, but it was chased away, the poor thing.”

“It’s a demon, not a pet,” Vivienne said. Her lips pursed.

Toby ignored her. “Do you know where it went?”

She skipped off, and he motioned for them to follow her.

* * *

 

When Uthnan stopped and pointed, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be looking at. “A chicken coop?” She nodded. Toby sighed. “Just checking,” he muttered.

“What,” Dorian said, “it’s given up a life of crime to live an exciting life as a hen?”

Toby shrugged. “Well, envy demons are shapeshifters. It must be hiding.”

“In the chicken coop.”

He huffed and reached inside the coop. He drew out a rooster. It squawked at him and flapped its wings. He gripped it tightly and held it out to his companions. “What do you think? Does it look demony?”

Solas chuckled. Uthnan snatched it out of his arms and squeezed it tightly. “He’s so pretty! Can I keep him? Please? I’ll take really good care of him.”

“Uthnan, if you can tell us which one is the envy demon, you can have all the chickens you want.” She nudged a snoozing hen with her foot. It wobbled to its feet and glared at them. Then it turned into a mirror image of the Inquisitor. “Oh,” Toby said. “Hi.”

It snarled and kicked him in the chest. He yelped and sprawled to the ground. Around him, chickens flapped their wings and ran in circles. One of them hopped onto his bruised chest and dug its talons into him. He shoved it off. He whirled around, looking for Uthnan. She sat a good distance away, rooster in her lap. She appeared to be stroking it. He cursed.

He struggled to his feet. The creature had gotten him right in his old wound. He brandished his staff, and strengthened the barriers his companions had. The demon threw out a wave of power that knocked his companions to the ground. Envy hissed at him and took Dorian’s form. “You can’t hurt me Toby, you lo-“

He clobbered it with his staff. Envy snatched his staff away and broke it over its knee. He backed away. Vivienne slashed at it with a blade that flickered into existence long enough to cut, then melted away. Envy shuddered and rippled. It reverted to its ‘normal’ form. Vivienne gasped and lurched backwards at the new horror before her.

Its torso hung between its legs, arched upwards like some mockery of a scorpion’s tail. One pair of arms dangled limply, while the other clawed at Toby’s face. He staggered backwards. If he were alone, he could have slashed it in two with a barrier-blade, but to reveal that secret in front of his companions would be certain death. Then they’d really turn him tranquil.

“So selfish,” Envy chittered. “I can be you for you. Let me be you.”

“Just try it,” he snapped.

Solas raised his staff to cast a spell, but the demon lashed out with a foot. He ducked and just barely avoided a concussion. They should have brought Bull. Or Blackwall. Someone with a shield. Envy scooped up Vivienne and threw her into Dorian. The two struggled to separate themselves.

Faster than his eye could follow, Envy pounced on him. It grabbed Toby and lifted him above its head. He dangled above its gnashing teeth. It began to lower him into its mouth and he realized the bastard was going to try biting his head off. Fuck it. Just. Fuck.

With a scream of rage and frustration, he created a barrier-blade. He channeled his magic inwards and it sang through his muscles. He stabbed his blade through the demons skull and it staggered beneath him. Toby reached out with his mind and balanced – for a brief moment – on the space between fade and reality. He shimmered out of the demon’s grasp and landed on his feet, his arcane enhancements making him agile as a cat. He wrenched his barrier-blade out of Envy’s twitching corpse and stepped away.

He took a deep breath and turned to face his teammates. Solas stared at him, wide-eyed. “Dirth’ena Enasalin,” he whispered.

“How did you do that?” Dorian asked. “I’ve never seen anything like that.” His voice pitched with excitement and he gestured towards Toby’s blade. “It looks almost like the blades the knight-enchanters create, but it’s completely different. How are you solving the feedback issue? It should be collapsing in on itself, but it’s not! It’s even sharp. Comparing that to a knight-enchanters blade is like comparing a sword to a broken stick. And I know you channeled your magic somewhere, but for the life of me I can-“

“Don’t encourage him,” Vivienne said. She had drawn herself up to her full height and her voice dripped venom. “He’s an abomination. That’s what happens when you consort with demons.”

As if on cue, Uthnan skipped over, rooster still clutched tightly. “Toby, that was wonderful! It feels different when you’re not in the fade, right?” She turned to Solas. “I taught him that,” she announced. “Aren’t I a great teacher? I really am. The only thing he did wrong was gesturing. I keep telling him that gesturing is a bad habit, but it’s the one thing he can’t stop doing. Silly Toby.” She giggled and spun her rooster around in a circle.

Vivienne’s eyes glinted with triumph. “I warned them about you. I knew you were just hiding your sickness. You’re a disgrace. You don’t deserve to be called Inquisitor.”

Toby shrugged. Pissing off Vivienne wasn’t what he was worried about. “There’s a templar-lover in every tower.” He did not look at Solas or Dorian. He felt empty inside. His chest ached where the demon had kicked him. He had come looking for allies and all he’d found was pain. He’d made a fool of himself in front of Dorian last night and then he had done this. Dorian. His heart constricted. It had been a nice dream. One he had not allowed himself to have, but still…. He turned away. “It doesn’t matter. I can do this on my own. Come on, Uthnan. Let’s get your chickens and go.”

“Okay.” She whispered something to the chickens and they arranged themselves behind her in an orderly line. “It’s easy to do, since they’re chickens.”

Normally he would have been interested. Today, he couldn’t care less. “That’s nice,” he said dully. He released his barrier-blade and it disintegrated.

Solas stepped up to him. “And where are we going?”

Toby recoiled. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Dorian asked. “We go where you go.”

“Stop that,” Toby snapped. “You’ve found me out so you can stop being nice to me.” He waved his arms about. “Vivienne is right. I consort with spirits. Uthnan’s been teaching me this fighting technique for years in my dreams. I met Xebenkeck earlier and we had tea. That’s two out of four Forgotten Ones, and if that’s not consorting with spirits, I don’t know what is. Hunt me down if you want. I have work to do. The rest of you can scramble around doing whatever you want with the templars. I’m going to see if I can stop the world from falling apart. What are you doing?” Dorian edged towards him, as though approaching a skittish animal. “Stop that.”

Then the Tevinter was close – far too close – and pressed a finger to his lips. “You’re talking nonsense.”

Solas prowled closer. “You have nothing to fear from us, Toby. No one is going to hurt you or turn you tranquil. We are your allies. If you cannot trust that, then trust that destroying the mind of the only one who can seal rifts would be quite foolish.” He tucked his hands behind his back. “And we are not fools.”

“I’m not his ally,” Vivienne said.

Solas and Dorian said, without looking at her, “Shut. Up.” Vivienne sucked in a breath, picked up her skirts and stepped out of the mud.

Toby scowled and peered at Solas and Dorian. It didn’t feel like they were lying, but… It made no sense. He was a mage. A dangerous mage. A dangerous mage that consorted with spirits. They should be attacking him. Disowning him. Not this. If he had revealed a hint of this at the Circle, the templars would have cut him down on the spot, First Enchanter or not. Why weren't they? His voice faltered. “I don’t understand.”

Dorian took his hands and Toby stared at him with dull incomprehension. “Come back to Skyhold. After all, if you don’t I won’t get to study those techniques of yours.” His eyes glittered. “You must show me how it’s done. It’s just fascinating.” In a daze, Toby slowly nodded. Solas looted the envy demon’s corpse and tucked away some papers. The elf tilted his head and Dorian hooked his arm through Toby’s. He led him away. “That’s right. One foot in front of the other. Back to the horses.”

Vivienne led the way back to their mounts. Solas, Toby and Dorian came next and Uthnan held up the rear, followed by a dozen or so spellbound chickens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chickens might honestly be my favorite part of this chapter. I'm tempted to write a one shot spin off about Uthnan and the chickens.


	20. Toby's Never Drunk Booze Before

Toby had never actually been into Herald’s Rest. In his opinion, it was very suspicious that the bar had been repaired first. Never mind the fortifications, clearly the men needed booze. When he stepped in, it was merely out of curiosity. He kept to the wall and peered around. It was the only time he’d been in such a place without a templar at his back. Experimentally, he sat on an empty table by the fire.

He studied the people around him and tried to figure out why they liked this place so much. It was not very impressive. The Iron Bull sat next to him. “Hey, Boss. Never seen you in here before. What’s the special occasion?”

He thought of his advisor’s pleased expressions when they learned about Uthnan’s lessons. Solas had twisted his arm into telling them, and they had been happy. He shrugged uneasily. “Just trying something new.”

Iron Bull clapped him on the shoulder, and Toby nearly hit the table. He coughed under the force of the blow. The qunari slapped a mug in front of him. “You want something new, try this on for size.”

He didn’t drink. Why would he dull his wits in front of an enemy? But maybe there were no enemies here. Maybe there had never been enemies here in Skyhold. There was only an inch or two of liquid in the cup, so he tossed it back. It burned down his throat like fire. He choked and gasped. He held his cup out and Bull took it for a moment. As soon as he got it back, he drained it. Then he dropped the cup and let it clatter to the floor. “That wasn’t water.”

“Maaras-lok. It’ll put hair on your chest.”

“Kill me first.” He reeled back. “Madlock.”

“Maaras-lok.”

"Maaaaaaras lock drink. Ugh.” Toby lay his head on the table. “Should drink more often. Build up tolerance. This hits hard.”

“What, you’ve never been drunk before?”

He moaned. Then he looked at Bull’s cup. The qunari grinned and offered it to him. Toby fumbled at the cup and ended up spilling half of it. The other half made it into his mouth.

Soon, he was laughing. A hand gripped his shoulder and spun him around. Dorian gaped at him. “Varric told me you were here, but I didn’t believe him.” He sat next to Toby. “Now I owe him coin. Andraste’s tits, Bull. What did you do to him?”

“Gotsa drink,” Toby said. “Build up tolerance. Like with smites or…” he cast about for a word. Then he shrugged happily and let his head fall against Dorian’s shoulder. “You smell nice.”

Dorian took the cup out of his hands. “And that’s enough swill for you.”

Bull roared with laughter. “Awww, come on. Boss drinks well. And he’s a redhead. Mmmmmmm.” He tugged at Toby’s hair. “Why haven’t we had sex yet?”

Toby groaned into Dorian’s neck, who might have gone still and might not have, but Toby was too drunk to tell. “Nooooooo. S’bad. Did it once or…” His brow furrowed. “Doesn’t feel good. Said never again, and that’s that. Hurt bad. M’not a masss.” He lifted his head up. “Masschism.”

“Masochist?” Dorian said.

“Yeah. That’r something.”

“And now I need swill.” Dorian sputtered at the liquid and spat it back into the cup. “No wonder you’re drunk. Come on.” The Tevinter helped him up.

“I can help,” Bull mumbled.

“He’s had enough of your help,” Dorian snapped and steered the Inquisitor out of the bar. Toby blinked against the cool, night air. It sobered him up enough to be aware of the arm looped around his waist. Very aware. “It doesn’t hurt, you know. It can feel quite good.” A wistfulness that he’d never heard before was in the man’s voice. “Toby, I have to ask you something. That story you told me about the boy who warmed his tea. Was that…?” Dorian gently turned him so they were facing each other and searched his face. For what, he couldn’t tell.

He tried to shrug. “Shit happens. Especially in prettied-up prisons. They did all this shit and I couldn’t.” His voice trailed off. “The other mages. I was supposed to protect them. Couldn’t.” He sighed. “That’s life.” His stomach churned now. He was too sober for this. He started towards the inn, but Dorian shook his head and dragged him away.

“No more of that for you. Time for bed.” Toby nodded drowsily and rested his head against Dorian.

Dorian half poured, half lay him into bed. Toby watched him trace a modified fire rune onto the blankets to warm them up. He lit the fireplace with a snap of his fingers, though there was no kindling in the grate. “I love how you do that,” Toby murmured. “You’re so brave. Confident. I could never be like that.”

Dorian gazed at him. Toby could not read the expression in his eyes, so he sat up to get a better look. The other man drew closer, and his pulse stuttered. Dorian cupped his face, and Toby stilled. He hummed softly and closed his eyes. Dorian's fingers were soft against his cheek and though a small part of him whispered that he shouldn’t be letting this happen, he didn’t want to stop it.

He felt lips brush against his own and relaxed into the touch. Dorian kissed him carefully, and Toby reveled in it. He could smell the rich, spicy scent of his skin. Dorian drew back and Toby whimpered softly. “You’re right. It feels good.”

He heard a hitch of breath, and Dorian stood silhouetted in the firelight. Toby got a little nervous when he saw the look in his eyes. It was like catching the eye of a starving man creeping into a banquet. Dorian pounced on him. His legs gripped Toby’s waist and the Inquisitor fell back into the bed with a soft, shocked sound.

Dorian pinned his hands above his head and assaulted his mouth with his own. Toby squirmed and reveled in the feel of teeth against his lips. A hand slipped under his shirt and his breath shuddered out of him. He moaned against Dorian’s tongue. Dorian rolled his hips gently, which sparked sensations that Toby was not at all expecting. The iron grip on his hands loosened, and Toby yanked one free and tangled it into thick, dark hair. Dorian made an encouraging sound that sent shivers running through him. He wanted to loose himself in this.

Soon – far too soon – Dorian drew back, smirking wickedly. Toby panted as Dorian daintily stepped off the bed and brushed specks of invisible dust off his shoulders. He looked far too exquisite for someone who’d just sucked a mark into the crook of his neck. “You’re good at this,” Toby said thickly.

Dorian chuckled and leaned over him to run a finger down his chest. Toby tried to kiss him, but he leaned just out of reach. “And you’re,” he purred, “going to have a hangover tomorrow.”

Dorian was right about that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written anything like that before, so I hope it wasn't too bad. ><


	21. Hawke Comes to Skyhold

Toby managed to avoid Dorian for a full two days. He snuck in and out of Solas’ alcove during the early morning hours that Dorian slept through. He had long conversations with Solas about the Dirth’ena Enasalin. For the rest of the day he holed up in his room and worked tirelessly, trying to merge together what Solas and Uthnan had told him about his chosen form of combat. It was a relief, in a way, to be practicing outside the fade. He still found himself freezing whenever he heard something that might be a footstep, but he was getting used to hefting the barrier-blade around in the waking world.

Piecing the information he had together was like trying to put together a puzzle while blinded. Uthnan’s information was given to him in riddles and stories, and Solas had not actually studied this craft. All in all, it was rewarding albeit frustrating.

It was on the third day that he realized he couldn’t avoid Dorian forever. Dorian and Mother Giselle’s voices drifted down. They were fighting. How odd.

Mother Giselle spotted him first. “My Lord Inquisitor. I beg your pardon. Had I known you could hea-“

“Yes, yes,” Toby said. “What are you two shouting about? I hope you’re not trying to keep it a secret, because you’re standing right under the spymaster. She’s on the next level. She can hear you.”

“I was only concerned. Surely, you have heard the rumours.”

He shook his head. Dorian hissed between his teeth. “You’ll have to spell it out for him. He’s remarkably dense about some things.”

Giselle drew herself up. “Your glib tongue does you no credit.”

“On the contrary, my tongue gets me lots of credit.”

Toby blushed and tried not to remember the ways Dorian could use his tongue. He adjusted his collar and prayed that the mark had faded by now. Judging from the way the Revered Mother’s eyes flew from his throat to Dorian, it had not. “I see,” she said. “So the rumours are true.”

Toby held up a hand. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about. Are these dangerous rumours? If people are saying things like, ‘Oh, those mages are dangerous and should be killed,’ I need to know.” He touched a forefinger to his chin. “Is it about Uthnan and I? I thought people were used to her by now.”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Adorable, isn’t he? Thick, but cute.” He stood directly in front of him. “Now, try to keep up. Our dearest Revered Mother is concerned about the undue influence I’m having on you.”

Toby furrowed his brow. “I don’t get it.”

“They think,” he said precisely, “that we’re fucking.”

Toby blushed furiously. The Revered Mother bowed. “If I have given offence, I am sorry. I only meant the best.” She retreated, head held high, down the stairs.

“Hag,” Dorian muttered.

“Is that all?” Toby asked weakly. Dorian nodded. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh. Well, it’s embarrassing. Clearly, some people have too much time on their hands, but it should be harmless. And you can’t stop people talking really.” He laughed and shook his head. “Back at the Circle, a rumour would be something like, ‘He’s an abomination and needs to be killed.’ Then the person would vanish mysteriously, but we’d all know what’d happened. I thought it was something bad.”

Dorian arched a brow. “You mean this doesn’t bother you?”

“I’m used to rumours being much more dangerous. This is nothing. Does it bother you?”

He scoffed. “I’m used to it. I’m a social pariah, after all. What bothers me is they could think something so nasty about you. That you’re letting someone use you that way.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. “You’re worried about me?”

“Is that a problem?”

He shrugged uneasily. “No one’s worried about me before. It’s something new. I’ve been, um.” He looked down, suddenly unable to look Dorian in the eye. “Doing a lot of new things lately,” he finished. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dorian’s gaze drop down to his mouth. “With people.” Why was he still talking? “I mean not with people. With you. I’ll go.” He didn’t move. He couldn’t move because the Tevinter was impossibly close.

Dorian drew him nearer and wound his arms around Toby’s neck. Toby steadied himself against the other man and bit back a squeak when Dorian nipped his earlobe. “I suppose,” he purred, “that this means the rumours are true.”

“Yes?”

“Is that a question?”

“No?”

Dorian smirked and kissed him. Toby realized belatedly that the rumours were actually not true. What they were doing was not the same as…. He began compiling a mental list of plants that grew in Skyhold.

* * *

 

“Do I really have to sit on this ridiculous chair?”

Josephine fussed over him. “Of course, Lord Toby! This is your throne. It’s important to present a respectable image when welcoming guests to Skyhold.”

He sat in his throne and tried not to feel completely ridiculous. “I feel like some sort of mage tyrant,” he muttered.

“Nonsense! You look majestic.”

A short, travel-stained woman came into the hall. A very grumpy elf with what looked to be tattoos walked beside her. Toby furrowed his brow and stared at the swirling, pale lines. Was that lyrium? Why would anyone try to use lyrium as tattoo ink? Had it been turned into ink first? Could you even do that with lyrium? The woman threw her arms out. “Stumpy,” she shouted.

Varric ran forward and the woman grabbed him into a bear hug. “Hawke, what took you so long,” the dwarf asked.

“Now that’s an interesting story. You guys got a tavern or something here? I’m gonna need some ale to tell it.”

At Josie’s gesture, Toby said, “Welcome to the Inquisition.” He pointed towards the door. “You should have passed the tavern on your way in. It’s the only thing that’s not covered in scaffolding.”

Josie hid her face in her hands. Hawke roared with laughter. “I like this guy. I think we’re going to be great friends.”

Her elven companion made a face. “With a mage?”

Oh, joy. At least he was on familiar ground. “If you hate mages, you’ve come to the wrong place. You’ll find Skyhold filled to the brim with them.”

Hawke said, “Oh, don’t mind Fenris. He’s just snarly.” She ruffled his hair. Toby would have bet a great deal that if anyone else had tried that, the elf would have bitten their fingers off.

Toby couldn’t resist one final jab. “Interesting tattoos. I wasn’t aware you could do that with lyrium. Were you bored or drunk?”

Fenris actually reached for his sword. Hawke clamped herself onto his arm and gave a brittle laugh. “Sorry Inquisitor, gonna need to pickle him in booze before he tells that story.” Toby was very glad that the woman was there. The elf actually softened a bit before giving him one last venomous look. They were lovers, probably.

While planning their trip to Crestwood (to pick up some ally of Hawke’s who would hopefully be able to give them valuable information), Toby kept on eye his zealots. It was still odd to think of them as his. Hawke, although possibly insane, did wonders for morale. The surly elf caused no trouble with the mages, although he was rude and snappish. If left alone, he shouldn’t be a problem.

He tried to distance himself from Dorian, but it was pointless. The man would only give him that sly, self-satisfied look and kiss him or draw him into a conversation that was too fascinating to leave. On one occasion, Dorian had convinced him to create a barrier-blade to run tests on. Toby had ended up sticking around and trying to explain the process used to create one. Dorian wouldn’t try making one himself, but he still found it endlessly fascinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good luck trying to get away, Toby. Dorian's got his hooks into you. Like a fisherman reeling in a catfish. Hmmm. That took a strange turn. So, par for the course I suppose.


	22. Toby Should Invest In A Hoe Or Something

“Why are we going to a giant heap of sand again?” Dorian asked.

Toby gripped the saddle tightly. After all this time, he still wasn’t used to riding. “Because a friend of Solas’ needs help.”

Iron Bull said, “This is why you have soldiers, you know. You don’t have to solve every problem by yourself.”

He could practically feel the venomous look Solas shot the qunari. It didn’t matter. They were almost there. After an hour or so, Solas moved his horse in front and started galloping. Toby urged Corypheus into a lope and Solas’ horse started moving even faster.

Toby gasped when the pride demon came into view. “They corrupted it.” Solas yanked on his reigns and his horse danced in place as it tried to reconcile the urge to obey with the urge to flee. A small, detached part of his mind noted that their horsemaster had done an incredible job training their mounts and should get a raise. The rest of it swam. “We’ll start by breaking those pillars,” he said.

Toby thought they’d done an exceptional job until Solas kneeled by the Wisdom spirit and the two started babbling about death. “You have made me whole again,” Wisdom said.

“Bullshit,” Toby snapped. He stormed forward and shoved Solas aside. “If you’re not going to help then get out of my way. Uthnan!”

The Forgotten One tilted her head. “What?”

“We’re healing Wisdom. I need your help.”

Wisdom shook her head. “I can feel my-“

“Stop being so dramatic. Uthnan, are you going to help or not? I don’t know how to do this.”

Uthnan giggled and said, “Neither do I.” She danced up to him and touched his mark. “But I know someone who does!”

His mark snapped open and a rift opened inside him. No. On top of him. Toby couldn’t tell, because as soon as it opened he tumbled through it.

He landed in the Fade and gasped for air. Uthnan stood beside him, hands on her hips. The rift snapped shut as quickly as it had opened. He clawed at the space where it had been in a moment of blind, animal panic. “Humans aren’t supposed to be in the Fade.”

“But you are.” She tilted her head again. “You don’t look hurt or anything.”

Toby bit back the sense of wrongness that flooded him. He took a steadying breath. She was right. He wasn’t hurt. Besides, this was her realm. She knew what she was doing. He stood up. “Now what?”

She grinned. “Now we find my sister Xebenkeck. She’s the one who heals things. I’m good at fighting.” He followed her through the Fade. “Time doesn’t live here,” she said, “So we can move very quickly if we need to. It’s just like running, but with your head.”

It was impossible to say how long or how far they travelled. She led him through the twists and turns of the Fade. Spirits and demons followed them curiously for a time, but eventually got distracted and drifted away. When he got tired or hungry, Toby drew on the energies around him to sustain himself. Uthnan had nodded approvingly when he’d first done it.

Soon enough, a familiar spirit drifted beside them. “You’re doing well, sister,” Xebenkeck said. She smiled at him. “You are too. The last time I saw you, you were dead.”

“I got better.”

Xebenkeck’s laughter sounded like silver flutes. He grinned foolishly and realized that he would do anything to hear her laugh again. She held a hand out and he kissed it. “I have that effect on people.” She twisted her braceleted arm and the Fade shifted around them. They stood in a patch of grass that overlooked a glistening waterfall. Lyrium threaded through the water as it fell. Every now and then, a string of lyrium peeked out of the water before diving back down. They lay on the grass. Xebenkeck pulled a teapot and teacups out of thin air and served them.

He sipped the tea carefully. It evaporated in his mouth and tasted of summer wind. “Thank you for speaking with me,” he said.

“Nonsense,” Xebenkeck said. “Whatever is the matter? Something dreadful has happened, hasn’t it?”

He nodded. “A friend of mine has been badly hurt, and I need your help to heal them.”

“The spirit Wisdom? Or is it the god-elf, Solas?”

He paused. “God?”

She laughed. “Surely you know that Solas is god among elves? I have never spoken with him, but I am told he denies it. It does not matter if he does. It is the belief of his people that makes him god. Only a god could trap my siblings and I, even momentarily.”

“Solas is a god?”

The two Forgotten Ones both nodded. “Of trickery,” Xebenkeck said, “And betrayal and deception.” She waved a hand though the air. “And this, of course. This is his creation as much as anything.”

Toby rubbed his temples. His mind stuttered. He shook his head. Uthnan poked him. “Is he broken? I don’t think he knew.” She gasped. “Didn’t you know?”

Xebenkeck held her sister back. “Mortals are not like us, sister. Sometimes they do not see what is right in front of them.” She took his hands. “Enough of that. Focus on what you know. Do you understand? It does no good to speak of what is and is not when there is a wound that needs healing.” She cocked an elegant brow. “Unless that is not what you want? What do you want, Toby?”

He sighed. “I just want to help.” He blinked back tears. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Xebenkeck cooed and patted his head. “I know, little mortal. I know. It’s all you’ve done, isn’t it? You don’t need to answer, I can read it in your eyes.” She pulled him up. “Come along now and we will help your spirit friend.”

Dazed, he followed. Dazed, he helped the Forgotten Ones clear the corruption from Wisdom. Every spirit, the Forgotten Ones told him, was a slice of the Fade. Weeds could grow on all slices, but we should not hate the weeds, because they were needed as well. However, it was a simple matter to clear a slice of weeds, if needed.

It turned out that healing a corrupted spirit was a lot like gardening.


	23. Be Sure To Read The Notes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning to all of you. The next chapter will mark the spot where this fanfic officially becomes a crossover. I have some really great ideas for where this story is headed, and a crossover is the way there. No Dragon Age lore is going to be violated, so no worried about that. The crossover elements are not going to take up the story. This story is still going to be centered around the events of Inquisition. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Precious or Elena. They've still got their roles to play, but a bit later on. Cheers, and I can't believe people are still reading this hot mess disguised as a story. XD

“We’re lost, aren’t we?” Toby said.

Uthnan shushed him. “Almost there.” She cocked her head as though listening for something. She pointed at a man. The man must have just fallen asleep. He shimmered into view.

Solas smiled and a pit formed in Toby’s stomach. He didn’t know. He knew that Solas was a god, but Solas had no idea that…. His head started to pound. “Toby,” Solas said. “I can hardly believe you did it. Wisdom is fine. How did you do it? Such a thing shouldn’t have been possible and yet…”

Deceit was common. It should have been a thing he’d been used to by now. After a moment’s thought, Toby realized why this time it felt different. He’d never been lied to by a friend before. How did you tell someone that you knew they were a god and needed to know what else they’d lied about? He sighed. “I know you’re a god and need to know what else you’ve lied about.”

Solas didn’t miss a beat. “Inquisitor?” He shaped a table and two chairs out of the fade and settled himself in one. He might have been preparing to discuss the weather.

Toby sat down. “You’re Fen’Harel, elven god of betrayal and trickery. You also created the Fade.” Solas raised a brow. “Spirits have big mouths. They’re really bad at keeping secrets.”

“I suspect you have questions.”

Toby shrugged. “Nope. I know everything I need to.” He held out his right hand, where the Dread Wolf’s mark had wormed itself into his palm. “You can have this back.” The god was silent. “That’s what I thought. You can’t take it back, can you? Which means that you’re powerless, and I’m stuck here. Oh well, it was worth a shot.” Something in Solas’ expression made him falter. He’d seen that look too many times in the mirror. He had been expecting this. As soon as he saw Uthnan, some part of him must have been waiting for this. Slowly, his jaw untensed. “I’m not angry, Solas. Just tired. I just want to understand.”

“I sought to set my people free from slavery to would-be gods. I broke the chains of all who wished to join me. The false gods called me Fen’Harel, and when they finally went too far, I formed the Veil and banished them forever. Thus I freed the Elven people and, in so doing, destroyed their world.”

“False gods?”

“They were our most powerful mages. First, there was a war. War breeds fear. Fear breeds a desire for simplicity. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Chains of command. After the war ended, Generals became respected elders, then kings, and finally gods. The Evanuris.”

“So, what did they do that made you move against them?”

“They killed Mythal. A crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment.”

“I thought Mythal was one of the Evanuris.”              

“She was the best of them. She cared for her people. She protected them. She was a voice of reason, and in their lust for power, they killed her.”

“And you didn’t kill them? Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

“The first of my people do not die so easily. The Evanuris are banished forever, paying the ultimate price for their misdeeds.”

“You love the Fade. Why would you create the Veil to hide it all away?”

“Because every alternative was worse. Had I not created the Veil, the Evanuris would have destroyed the entire world.”

“How did creating the Veil destroy the world?”

“You should have seen the world before. There were countless marvels, all dependent on the presence of the Fade, all destroyed. Your legends are half-right. We were immortal. It was not the arrival of humans that caused us to begin aging. It was me. The Veil took everything from the Elves, even themselves.”

“And what then?”

“I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you. My people fell for what I did to strike the Evanuris down, but still some hope remains for restoration. I will save the elven people.”

“There’s one thing I don’t understand. How did Corypheus get your orb? Wasn’t it guarded?”

“It was. I was the one who gave it to him. Not directly, of course. My agents allowed the Venatori to locate it. The orb had built up magical energy while I lay unconscious for millennia. I was not powerful enough to open it. The plan was for Corypheus to unlock it, and for the resulting explosion to kill him. Then I would claim the orb. I did not foresee a Tevinter magister having learned the secret of effective immortality.”

Toby furrowed his brow and tried to make sense of it all. Everything he knew about the world had been changed. He looked around at the Fade. He’d come here all his life to be free. Little had he known, he’d just been in another prison. Perhaps not made for him, but that didn’t change what it was. He examined the elf before him carefully. Uthnan would have been imprisoned too. He had sacrificed so much to save his people, and then they had lost everything. Nearly everyone Solas had known must have died. He would have awakened utterly alone and in confusion. “I’m sorry,” he said, “for what happened. It’s not your fault, Solas. You couldn’t have known any of this would happen.”

Solas closed his eyes and swallowed, hard. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “Thank you. You must understand. I awoke in a world where the Veil had blocked most people’s conscious connection to the Fade. It was like walking through a world of Tranquil.”

Guilt stabbed at him. He’d turned more than enough people Tranquil to know how that must have felt. To have done that to the whole world… He shuddered. “You remember Clemence?”

Solas nodded. “He is the one who mixes our potions, correct?”

“Yeah. He’s been my only friend since I was little. Then I became First Enchanter and one of the first things I had to do was turn him Tranquil. The templars had planted evidence of some kind pointing to blood magic. I fought them for days, but in the end there was nothing I could do.” He took Solas’ hand and felt the elf startle slightly. “You must feel terrible, and there’s nothing I can say to fix that, but we can still help the elves. There’s no reason the Inquisition can’t help elves and mages. I know this isn’t the world you remember, but it can still be your home.” He smiled. “There is a place here for you, Solas.”

Solas trembled for a moment. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Toby shrugged uneasily. “It’s the Fade. Brings out the emotions in all of us.” He stepped away from the table to compose himself. “Right. So, seeing as you built the Fade and all that, do you know how to get me home safely?”

“Have you tried focusing on Skyhold and opening a rift?”

“That’s the first thing I did. I ended up in the middle of an ocean.” He waved a hand at Solas. “Never mind, I’ll figure it out. I just need a bit more time, that’s all. I’ve got Uthnan and Xebenkeck to help me. Together, we should be able to get me back in one piece. You’re not all still in the desert, are you?”

Solas smiled thinly. “Of course we are. We’ve been looking for you. You’ve made it a habit to get lost.”

“Varric probably has a pool going for when I’ll show up.”

“Naturally.”

Toby grimaced. He opened a rift. “Well, I’ll see you soon. Hopefully.” He stepped through, and the world tumbled around him.


	24. Our Wisdom Flows So Sweet. Taste And See...

He had no idea where he was. “Uthnan?” Silence. He waited for the Forgotten One to tackle him, or leap out of the walls, but nothing happened. He grimaced. This section of the Fade was unlike anything he’d seen. It smelled of honey. He stood on a twisting pathway that seemed to be made out of living wood. He knelt down and stroked it wonderingly. He could feel it humming as though alive. This wood had grown into this position. Similar pathways arched and wove around him, but he could not see any way to reach them. Tree trunks larger than he thought possible stood around him. He could not see the horizon and when he leaned over the pathway, he could not see the ground either. He looked up, but the trees stretched out into infinity. “Uthnan? I could really use your help right about now.”

He shrugged and followed the path. He walked until his limbs ached. He tried to draw sustenance from the Fade as he had done earlier, but there was nothing there. He reached out with his mind, and was greeted with silence. He could not even feel the telltale hum of lyrium. It was then that he realized that the Black City was nowhere in sight. “God damnit, Solas. This is really shitty construction.” At least the lighting was good. It was rich, warm and golden and came from nowhere in particular. For all Toby knew, it came from the air itself.

He heard a soft scuff in front of him, and ran down the path. He nearly ran right into a spirit. It must have been a spirit. There was no other explanation for the way this girl was dressed or why her hair was electric blue. Her eyes widened and she stepped back. He threw his hands up. “Easy, there. Hi, spirit. I haven’t seen anything like you before. I’m a bit lost. Do you know where we are? I’m trying to get back to the waking world. Normally, I would just wake up, but I’m stuck here physically, so that’s a problem.”

The girl gave him a sympathetic look. _:Yikes. You really are lost aren’t you?:_

Toby blinked. “Wow. How did you do that? Your lips aren’t moving at all. You’re not saying anything, but I know exactly what you’re saying.” He rubbed his forehead. “You’re not even speaking into my head, the way Precious did.”

She wrinkled her nose. _:It’s just part of being a Bee.:_

“I didn’t know there were bee spirits.”

Her mouth opened and her shoulders shook. It took him a moment to figure out that she was laughing. _:I’m not a spirit. I’m a Bee.:_

“Okay, then. You’re a bee. But can you help me?” She must have been a spirit. A confused one. He wondered at the purpose of taking the guise of a slight sixteen year old girl. It seemed oddly specific.

She winced and shifted her weight. She motioned for him to follow her. He did. He walked and walked and walked. The path, it seemed, would go on forever. The girl walked confidently, as though she knew exactly where they were going. He heard a faint buzzing, and saw that bees flitted through the air. Every now and then, one would circle around his head. The first time it happened, he nearly swatted it, but the girl held out her arm and the bee landed on her fingers. She held it out to him.

The bee looked at him seriously, antenna twitching. Toby found himself looking at it just as seriously. The girl smiled. _:The bees like you. I’m Anika.:_

“I’m Toby, the Inquisitor.”

She smiled and nodded. Soon his stomach started growling. She motioned for him to wait, and went a bit down the path. She took a running start and leaped. His heart rammed into his throat, and he threw a barrier underneath her. She soared through the air, and landed lightly on a nearby tree trunk. Her shoulders shook, and he saw she was laughing again. She scurried up the trunk as though she were a squirrel. There must have been nooks and crannies in the bark, but it was so smooth Toby couldn’t see any. Then again, one of his friends had turned out to be a god. A bee spirit having mystical climbing abilities was nothing compared to that.

A tiny rift opened at his feet and a spirit stepped through. He scrabbled away from it. It meowed and trotted towards him. It looked like a regular housecat, if it had been mashed together with an octopus and then fell into an oil spill. Its fur was coated in a sticky substance. Tentacles sprouted from its torso and flexed and curled rhythmically. Its eyes glowed like twin stars.

Anika landed beside the cat and did a little dance. She scooped the creature up. _:Don’t worry, this is just Nermegal. He’s my little kitty. Isn’t he cute?:_ It mewed at him.

He winced. “Kind of?” Once you adjusted to the tentacles it wasn’t all that bad. He wouldn’t call it cute, though.

_:My little Nermie portals away sometimes, but he always comes back. Sometimes with a teensy Orochi agent in his mouth. I have no idea where he gets them. Isn’t that funny?:_

He made himself nod. Anika nuzzled her cat and set it down. She held out a honeycomb. Cautiously, he took it from her. She grinned. He took a bite and before he knew it he had finished it. He felt much better after eating it. There must have been some magic in the food. He felt renewed, better than he had in days, and wasn’t hungry or thirsty anymore. “Thank you.”

Anika led him down the path. Nermegal padded after her, leaving a sticky film behind him. Soon the path opened out into a platform that buzzed with activity. Human-shaped spirits ran here and there, as though they had completely forgotten how to walk. Upon seeing them, Anika grinned and started jogging. Toby groaned and ran after her. The platform circled around one of the immense tree trunks, but this one must have been hollow. Anika led him through an archway that opened out into a domed pavilion that had grown right into the hollow tree trunk. Were all the trees hollow?

Sections of the tree had grown into vendors stalls, and several smartly dressed spirits had put up metal booths. Merchants hawked their wares and spirits flitted back and forth. In the center of the pavilion, a walkway spiraled up into a closed network of branches. Something green pulsed and vibrated with life, but he could hardly see it through the screening branches. The only clue to its existence was the light it emitted. Gentle, but bright enough to light up the whole pavilion.

 _:This is Agartha, the world tree,:_ she said. _:You probably found a way in by accident. I don’t know what branch you were on, so you have to stay close to me.:_ She pointed at a swirling, blue rift in the distance. Crazily enough, it was stable. _:Don’t go into any of those. You’ll find yourself in my dimension, and then I’ll have to find you all over again. It’ll be harder to help you if I lose you.:_

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot lately.” She laughed silently. “What do you mean about being in a different dimension. Isn’t this the Fade?”

She shook her head. _:This is Agartha.:_

“Are you sure you’re not a spirit?” She sure talked like one.

_:I am a Bee. There are no spirits here. Mostly, it is humans and Bees.:_

“Right.”

_:Agartha is an in-between place. Its branches connect all the dimensions together. I was exploring when I found you. That’s why it was such a long walk here.:_

“Let me guess, time doesn’t exist here?” She looked pleased. “Yeah, the Fade is the same way. It’s this thing we have back home. It’s sort of like this, but it doesn’t go to other dimensions and there are spirits everywhere. Also, you only go there in your sleep.”

At that, her eyes narrowed slightly. Whatever shadow had darkened her thoughts soon passed and she smiled reassuringly. _:That is why you wanted to get back to the waking world. Have you tried teleporting?:_

“Yes.” He held up his hand. “I can make and close rifts into the Fade. I stepped through one by accident, and now I’m stuck in the Fade. I made another rift trying to get to Skyhold and ended up here.”

She nodded sympathetically _. :I know. I have been listening to the buzzing.:_

“Okay….”

She smiled, but offered no explanation _. :If you see Agartha’s heart, it might help you master your teleporting. It’s what helped me learn mine.:_

“You can make rifts, too?” Somehow, this did not surprise him. She shrugged and started towards the spiraling walkway. He sighed and followed her. She pulled a slim metal box out of her pocket and tapped it as she walked. “What’s that?” She kept walking. “You’re not very talkative are you?” She smiled and shook her head.

Once they reached the top of the walkway, his words died in his throat. A large pulsing green heart had nestled itself into the wood in front of him. The branches around them shielded them from the noise of the pavilion beneath him. Toby found himself bowing his head, not because he brushed the ceiling of the sheltering dome of branches, but because not doing so would be profoundly disrespectful. It did not look like a heart. It looked more like an immense glowing lima bean, but his heartbeat synchronized with its gentle pulsing and there was no doubt in his mind as to what it was. “I am honoured,” he whispered.

Anika knelt beside it and he followed her lead, giddy at being allowed this close. Toby and the Bee sat and watched the heart of Agartha, the world tree, and listened.

After some time – days or months or years – Toby stood up. “I think I know what to do,” he said.

Anika smiled and tilted her head. Nermegal mimicked her actions. Toby held out his hand and closed his eyes. The girl in front of him was a mage. How could he not have noticed it earlier? All these ‘bees’ must be mages. They were probably named after the bees that lived in Agartha’s branches. No mere insects then, or mere people. He poked at her magic and could immediately see why he hadn’t noticed it before. It felt different than his did. There was a trick to feeling her magic, like looking at the dirt on a window instead of right through it.

He opened a rift and knew instinctively that it opened out into Solas’ room in Skyhold. He grinned and laughed. Anika poked her head through. She pulled back and wrinkled her nose. _:Good job, Toby! Good luck with your Inquisition.:_

He smiled thinly. “Let me guess, you heard it in the buzzing?” She nodded. “When you say buzzing, are you talking about all the bees flying around here? The actual bees, not the people.” She nodded and pointed at the rift curiously. “Well, I have no problem with you looking around. How often do you get to see another dimension, after all? And you helped me a great deal. You have to watch out for Tem-“ he stopped himself. “You already know all that don’t you? From the buzzing?” She nodded. “Are you sure you’ll be able to get back to Agartha? I’d hate for you to get stuck in my world.” She nodded again and tossed her hair back. Nermegal leapt into her arms.

_:I don’t want to stay and I won’t get involved in anything. I have other things to take care of, but I can take some time off to look around a bit. My boss won’t mind. They let me do what I want to.:_

“Your boss?”

 _:I am one of the Dragon. It’s an organization that…:_ She paused a moment. _:We put plums on windowsills. Or we take them off.:_

“So, the Dragon does little things that leads to big things? When Cole put those plums on the windowsills, he knew that it would lead to the healers having access to a special kind of spiderweb. Apparently, it saved a lot of lives.” Anika smiled and nodded.

Toby smiled back and motioned for her to follow. Before they stepped through the rift, she touched his arm. _:I have met three types of gods. I met Loki, who hurt his own people to gain power. I met the gods in Egypt who are sealed into statues no bigger than a wine bottle. They sacrificed everything to protect their country and people. Recently, I met Cernunnos, who drowns his sorrows and does nothing though his land dies around him.:_

“Thank you for telling me that.”

She shook her head. _:I am telling you that some gods are all three.:_

His brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”

But she smiled and said nothing and stepped through the rift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Bees talk only when they want to talk. I had so much fun with this chapter! Enjoy, my sweetlings. And if you haven't you must play Secret World Legends. It's amazing. One of my favourite mmo's.


	25. He's Not Very Good With Logic, Okay?

Dorian scowled at Solas over the edge of his book. He lounged on the ratty sofa thumbing through a book on the Fade. For the past two weeks they’d been waiting in Skyhold, it was all he’d done. Toby was lost in the Fade and their resident Fade-expert had no idea how to fucking get him back. Dorian had abandoned his rotunda in favour of being able to pester the elf any time he had a question about the Fade and what Toby might be facing.

Elena had followed suit. For reasons unknown to man, she had decided that she liked him. When she wasn’t playing, she studied and practised her magic in the rotunda. Sometimes, Solas watched her with keen interest, but most of the time he ignored the both of them. Dorian had no idea what kind of magic Toby was teaching the child. It wasn’t that the exercises were strange. A lot of the drills she was doing were ones that he’d run through in his own youth. It was the approach that was all wrong.

The way she directed her energies made absolutely no sense. It was the same way Toby directed his. Solas would say nothing about it when he saw what she was doing. He had merely smiled and tied a string around her wrists to keep them together and help enforce Toby’s ‘no gesturing’ rule. Dorian could have sworn that he had seen Toby gesture a few times casting spells, so he had no idea why he didn’t want Elena to. Besides, gesturing was a great way to infuse a little drama into your spellcasting.

Right now, Elena was tossing a spark of electricity up in the air and catching it before it hit the ground. Dorian struggled his way through a book detailing the various Fade inhabitants – written by a mage who’d gone insane shortly after writing a scant few copies, so that was fun. Solas did whatever he did.

A rift opened in the rotunda. Elena’s spark nearly exploded with her sudden panic and she scurried out of the room. Dorian snatched his staff up, heart in his throat, and readied himself. Solas set down his book and shards of ice began swirling around his fingertips.

A spirit poked its head through. It looked at them with wide, curious eyes and smiled. It had electric blue hair. Before he had time to wonder how that was even possible, it left. “Tell me,” Dorian said, “that you know what that was.”

“Not a spirit or demon,” Solas said.

“I have so many questions.”

“As do I.”

The rift crackled and spit at them. Toby strolled through. Dorian didn’t know which was more shocking, the way he was completely at ease or the beard he’d grown. He hadn’t shaved in three weeks, which was ridiculous because _Dorian_ was the one with amazing facial hair! Toby definitely couldn’t pull off the beard. Obviously, he’d have to shave. Uthnan blinked into existence right beside him, clung to Toby’s arm and expressed the exact same opinion in a series of hysterical screeches that probably had everyone in the tower wishing they were deaf.

The blue-haired spirit stepped through the rift and stuck her hands in her pockets.

“Is that Toby?” He looked up. Leliana leaned over the railing and glared at them.

Toby nodded at her. “We’re having a meeting in the war room.”

Dorian bristled. “Excuse me? You just walked out of the Fade and now you want a meeting. Are you serious?”

“Yes. Come on, Anika.”

“ _Who in the void is Anika?_ ” He said. The blue-haired girl waved at him.

“Normally, we don’t invite visiting dignitaries to war meetings,” Toby continued, “but this is a special occasion.” Toby strolled from the room, Anika following close at his heels. The rift snapped shut with a snap of his fingers. Damn, that was cool. Dorian yelped when a smaller rift opened next to his feet. A horribly mutated cat trotted out and mewed at him. Toby came back and scooped it up. “That’s just Nermegal,” he said and solemnly deposited the cat into Anika’s arms.

“Fine, then,” Dorian said. “Let’s go to the war room.”

Toby raised a brow. “Why would you come along? You’ve never been part of the war room meetings.”

And with that, Toby turned away. “Am I to be a part of the war room?” Solas asked.

“Of course,” Toby said.

Dorian said, “Seriously? You’re inviting _him_ , but not _me?_ ”

“Yes.”

Toby, Anika, Solas and Leliana filed past him and out the room. Dumbfounded, he plopped down on the ratty couch. “I can’t believe I was passed over by Mr. Ass-Castle,” he muttered.

Dorian stormed off to his room, leaving a trail of bewildered nobles behind him. Recently, Skyhold had become packed with them. Each of them had arrived in the hopes of being there when the Inquisitor finally returned. The only thing more irritating than them had been Vivienne’s preening. Sickening.

He took a deep breath. This was not happening. Toby goes missing for nearly a month and then blows him off like that? Without a single explanation? Just strolling in like everything was fine. Like all of this was perfectly normal. No. He was going to wring an explanation out of Toby if he had to snap his head off to do it.

He went to Toby’s room. Dorian moved a chair into the corner, so that he would be the first thing Toby saw when he came in. Toby always came to his room right after a war room meeting. He settled into the chair and waited. Eventually, he nodded off.

* * *

 

Toby kept his back straight all the way to his room. Once he got there, he could fall onto his bed and sleep. Possibly forever. He had just gotten out of the most exhausting meeting to date. There had been no point in telling everyone that Solas was a god – who would believe him? – but seeing as he’d just been lost in the Fade, everyone had been happy to have the elf there. Their reaction to ‘a visiting dignitary from another dimension’ had been more disconcerting, but there was only so much they could say when she was so obviously … other.

He opened the door – Uthnan had made him promise to shave immediately – and paused. Dorian had fallen asleep in his room. Why in the void would he do that? For some reason, he thought of the night Dorian had kissed him. He hadn’t touched the man since, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about it whenever he saw him. Stupid, sexy Dorian. Why did he have to make everything so difficult?

Toby hesitated before gathering his shaving tools. He snuck through his room and shaved quietly, so as not to wake Dorian. Maybe he’d come into the wrong room and then … rearranged the furniture? Toby sighed and set his razor down. It clinked against the marble table that Josephine had imported from who knew where.

Dorian shifted in his sleep. Toby knelt beside him. He looked more peaceful when he was sleeping. They’d shared a tent during the trip to help Wisdom, but he’d always managed to get into the tent first and pretend to be asleep by the time Dorian got in. From this view, he could see the dark sweep of his lashes. Toby scolded himself, and shook the other man awake.

Dorian made an adorable sleepy noise and shifted. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled. He pushed himself up with an elbow and winced. “Fasta vass, my neck.”

“That’s what happens when you fall asleep in an armchair.” Without thinking, he reached out and smoothed the hair at the nape of the Tevinter’s neck. He pulsed healing magic into the sore muscles and Dorian leaned into his touch like a pleased cat. Toby felt his cheeks warm, and stepped back before he did anything stupid.

The Tevinter scowled. “I wouldn’t have fallen asleep if you hadn’t taken so long.”

“Why would you be waiting for me? I’m back. I’m fine. I even made a friend.” Toby started putting his shaving things away.

“That’s it, then.”

“Yes.”

Dorian swore savagely in Tevene. “I can’t believe this. You were in the Fade, Toby. You ca-“

Toby rounded on him. “I know that, I was there. Any other obvious statements you’d like to make? Perhaps you can tell me about how the sun rises in the morning. There are hundreds of people in this Inquisition and none of them holed up in my bedroom. Not even Iron Bull, and he’s supposed to be my bodyguard.”

Dorian bristled and rose to his full height. “You want _Bull_ sleeping in your bedroom?”

Toby threw his hands up. He was too tired for this. “No. I don't want anyone in my bedroom. Why are you getting so upset about this? Everyone else is just glad I’m not dead, you want a dissertation.”

“I’m not like everyone else.” His eyes burned and sparks flickered into life at the tips of his fingers. “You should know that by now.”

Toby gave him an incredulous look. “What,” he said, “are you babbling about?”

Dorian’s fingers actually ignited that time, and Toby reflexively threw a barrier out. “Why did you barrier me?” Dorian snapped.

“I don’t know, I just did it!” Toby shook his head. “You are the most frustrating person I’ve ever met.”

“And you,” Dorian snarled, “are an idiot.” Dorian shoved him hard, and Toby fell back into the armchair. “You frightened me.” He tried to stand, but the Tevinter planted a hand on his chest and pushed him deeper into the chair. At his touch, his heart flew into his throat. When Dorian straddled him, he squeaked. Toby cursed himself for that. “You have no idea why I’m so upset?”

He shook his head. The Tevinter bared his teeth in a furious snarl, and he struggled for an answer. “Because you’re… um… sitting on me?”

“Festis bei umo canavarum.”

Unthinkingly, Toby kissed him. Dorian growled and fisted a hand into his hair. He yanked his head back so hard Toby wouldn’t have been surprised if he got a concussion. Dorian’s thighs tightened around his own and he felt … oh. He blushed furiously. “So you’re mad because you like me.”

“Fasta vass, are you still talking?” Dorian kissed his jaw. “Yes.” He drew back and gazed at him with darkened eyes.

Toby would have shot up if the other man hadn’t been weighing him down. “I don’t get it.” Lips moved down his neck and he found himself running his hands down the other man’s back. The feeling of silk under his fingers was intoxicating. Dorian made an encouraging sound and nipped at his throat. Toby screwed his eyes shut and tried to rally his thoughts. “You could….” That was a bad place to lose track of what he was saying.

“Go on.” Toby couldn’t help but moan. “That’s it,” Dorian purred.

Toby shook his head. “Why are you ….” He did his best to squirm away. “Why are you doing this with me?”

Dorian drew back. “What?”

“You’re, um.” He fixed his gaze at a spot a few inches above the Tevinter’s head. “You’re smart and talented. You could have anyone you wanted. Why would you want someone like me?”

“What are you talking about?”

Toby grimaced. “Why would you want a mage?”

Dorian sighed and gave him a look that suggested his brain had dribbled out of his ears. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m a mage.”

Toby froze. “I’m an idiot.”

He chuckled and stroked his hair. “I know. Kaffas, do I know.” Dorian edged back a bit. “Why would it matter if you’re a mage?”

He blinked owlishly. How could he possibly explain this to a Tevinter? He sighed and shrugged. “I’m sorry. It’s different over here. The Circles are not schools. I know this because I was locked up in one all my life.” He idly settled his hands on Dorian’s waist. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Dorian settled against him. “Hold on a moment. You mean you never-“

“I was First Enchanter, Dorian! Not to mention there were templars everywhere. I couldn’t.” He actually shuddered at the thought of it. “We weren’t allowed to do that, so I never did. Although strangely enough, I spent a lot of time distracting templars so that others could.” He stopped himself. “Never mind. You don’t want to hear that.”

Dorian grabbed his face. “Stop that. You’re not in one of those dowdy mage prisons anymore.” He drew closer. “You’re with me, and you have my word that if any templars bother you I will personally set them on fire.”

Toby’s grip tightened. “No, no, don’t do that! It’s not safe to pick fights w-“ A hand slid against his stomach, and his breath shuddered out of him.

“You don’t have to worry,” Dorian said, “because….” His hand withdrew and Toby bit his lip to stifle a whine. “Go on. If you say it, you get a reward.”

“You’re being childish.” Dorian slowly peeled off his shirt. “Because you’ll set them on fire.”

Dorian growled playfully and bit his lip. “Good boy.” Then he stood up and backed away. Toby must have made a face of some sort, because the Tevinter smirked and extended a hand. “Come on, don’t you want your reward?”

Toby swallowed thickly and took his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book Dorian was reading at the beginning of this chapter was written by a mage who lived in small shack in the middle of a swamp. While he wrote the first copy he slowly slid into insanity. He obsessively wrote out three more copies before he died of starvation.


	26. Turns Out Pretty Boys Make Great Pillows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

When Toby’s hand slid into his own, Dorian thrummed with glee. It was about damn time. True, he hadn’t come here for this, but he would have to be crazy to say no. That first kiss had inflamed him and the Inquisitor’s reaction to his touch certainly hadn’t helped. Even now, there was a peculiar mixture of wariness and confusion in his eyes. Dorian drew him towards the bed and he followed nervously, like a child waiting to be punished. Despite that, his arousal was clear. He was flushing, his pupils were blown and his gaze skipped about his chest.

Dorian drew him closer and slanted his lips across Toby’s. Toby shuddered slightly at his touch, but his eyes fluttered shut and his fingertips brushed against his waist. He slipped his hands under the shirt and ran his nails down Toby’s back. The soft, shocked sound sent jolts of heat through him. He pulled them both onto the bed and Toby fell awkwardly on top of him.

Toby sat up and shifted uncomfortably. Dorian suppressed a sigh. Virgins and the inexperienced were usually nervous, but this was getting ridiculous. Frankly, he was running out of sexy, charming ways to relax his lover. That wasn’t to say they weren’t working. If they hadn’t, Toby probably wouldn’t be on top of him. There was some convoluted mental objection he had about sex, Dorian thought, that really needed to be dispensed with. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” He idly lifted a hand above his head. “We can do anything you’d like.”

Toby worried at his lip some more. “You’re sure?”

Outwardly, he put on his most charming smile. Inwardly, he swore savagely. Why else would he be topless on his bed? It sure wasn’t to have a riveting discussion about barrier-blades or troop movements. “Yes. And we can stop whenever you like.”

Toby brightened at that, and he tried really hard not to be offended. “That’s good.” He winced. “Oh, I don’t mean. Um.” He took a deep breath. He eased off him – Dorian half-expected his genitals to fall off in protest – and sat beside him. He spoke seriously and kept his gaze firmly fixed onto the blanket. “I liked it when you… It felt good.”

Dorian waited for more, and chuckled when he realized he wasn’t getting any. It left him with a million questions and no real directives, but he could play along. He could do this. His stomach flipped, and he realized that he was actually nervous about this. It was like his first time all over again. This was going to hurt a lot when it ended, but until then….

He smoothed his hands up Toby’s sides and slowly pushed him into the bedding. He straddled him lightly and grinned when he felt tangible evidence of Toby’s desire. Toby watched him closely, as though deciding whether or not to slice him in half. Dorian bit back his nerves. Although physically eager, his lover had the look of a man who would bite him in a definitely-not-fun manner if touched the wrong way. That he was allowed even this made him giddy.

Dorian kissed his throat and nearly started purring when hands carefully explored his thighs. He’d never been so aroused in his life and they’d hardly done anything yet. He really hoped that he had the necessary self-control to stop if needed, because sex with Toby would be incredible. No way was he ruining his chances. If Toby wanted him to stop, he’d pout and sulk shamelessly, but he’d do it. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to. All this flirting and fighting had his head spinning and it was about damn time they’d moved on to something more carnal.

He unbuttoned Toby’s shirt slowly, kissing and nipping at pale skin as soon as he revealed it. Toby’s grip on him tightened, hard enough to bruise. He left a mark of his own before pulling the shirt away and tossing it behind him. “Did you like that?” he murmured against Toby’s skin.

“You stopped.”

“Not for long.” He rolled his hips gently, and Toby made a sweetly inarticulate sound. Oh, yes. He was definitely committing that one to memory. It took an alarming amount of self-control not to rut wildly against him. How would Toby react to that? Either he would push him off, or…

He kissed Toby again, luxuriating in the feel of his tongue as he eased off his remaining clothes. Toby didn’t realize what he was doing until he fumbled at Toby’s trousers. An iron hand grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. “Dorian.” Although the Inquisitor’s eyes had gone hard, technically he hadn’t told him to stop and Dorian found himself unable to do anything but moan and writhe. He had no idea if Toby was more arousing when he got all soft and pliant or when his eyes turned to chips of stone. All he did know was that it was completely unfair that anyone could get him so hard without realizing it and that if Toby kept this up he might actually go insane.

Dorian did not usually think of himself as a man with suicidal impulses. He palmed Toby’s length through his trousers and his own cock twitched at the lewd groan that ripped out of Toby’s mouth. The Inquisitor hissed softly and his grip softened. “Tell me how it feels, amatus.”

Toby growled and batted his hand away long enough to shuck off his trousers. Dorian grinned in triumph and put his mouth close enough that warm breath puffed over the tip. Toby’s whole body jerked. He snarled quietly and fisted his hands in the sheets just as he started leaking fluid. Dorian stretched himself out and languidly ran his fingers up his own length. Toby glared at him. He smirked back. “Don’t move.” Idly, as though he hadn’t a care in the world, he leaned forward and wet the tip with his lips.

His lover’s hips snapped forward. “ _Dorian._ ”

“Now, now, Inquisitor. Patience in all things. If you listen, you’ll get a reward.” Toby scowled, but stilled himself. Dorian smiled foolishly. This man would make a very good sub. He let his thoughts ribbon with that, before he slowly knelt closer. Toby watched him with blown pupils, irritation and lust plain on his face. Ever so slowly, he furled his tongue around the head. He was immediately rewarded with a string of soft, half-restrained sighs.

As he worked, he couldn’t help stroking himself. Earlier, Toby had been cold and distant. Now he writhed obscenely and bit back whimpers. Tension sang through his lover’s body. They were both close – so close. Dorian’s pleasure hit him in a tangled burst of sensation. When it stopped, he realized that Toby hadn’t followed him. Instead, the wonderfully stubborn man bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and wrenched his head to the side.

Dorian pursed his lips and drew back just enough to dig his thumb into the slit and delineate a wet circle. He said, in that purr he knew Toby loved so much, “None of that. I want to hear every sound you’re making.” Toby bucked underneath him. Dorian set his other hand to work as well, and the result was immediate. Toby stared at him through a sexual haze and started panting. Dorian murmured against his lips, “That’s it. Just like that.” He kissed him sweetly and ignored the taste of blood. Toby keened into his mouth and wrapped his arms around him. When Toby came underneath him, he pulled back just enough to watch.

The sight was enough to get his cock twitching lazily, but he ignored it when Toby moaned sweetly and nuzzled against him. Dorian was ridiculously pleased with himself. “I take it you enjoyed yourself?” he said lightly.

Toby laughed and groaned into the crook of his shoulder. Dorian cleaned them up with a spell. Toby laughed again. “Does it always feel like this?”

No. “Only with me.”

Toby blushed furiously and pulled the covers up. Dorian untangled himself. Before his feet touched the floor Toby asked, “Where are you going?”

He paused and swallowed thickly. Don’t be a coward, Pavus. He tried to keep his tone light. “To bed. Why? Did you want me to stay?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” The reply was oddly petulant.

Dorian squashed down the surge of hope before it formed. He looked back to say something flippant, but it died on his lips. Not only did Toby look exquisite, he also looked nervous and painfully vulnerable. “Then, I’ll just get a glass of water,” he said.

Toby smiled bashfully and averted his gaze. He played with the hem of the blanket, but even a blind man could have seen his smile. “Okay.”

Dorian used the trip to the bathroom to compose himself. He filled a glass of water and set it on the counter. He braced himself on the sink. What did one do in this situation? Cuddle? Sleep? More sex? He shook his head and ruefully struck that last one off the list. A man who tried to repress an orgasm was probably not planning to have an all-night long sex marathon. Maybe he wanted something pretty to see when he woke up? Did it really matter? Toby wanted him to stay. He grinned foolishly. Well, who was he to deny the Inquisitor?

Toby thanked him shyly when Dorian offered him the water. It really was adorable. Then Toby nestled against him and laid his head against his chest. He’d never been used as a pillow before, but that was even cuter.


	27. Bees Are Very Hard To Talk To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not sure I'm entirely satisfied with the first section of this chapter, but here goes!

Someone pounced onto him, and Toby startled awake. It was Uthnan, which was normal. What wasn’t normal was that she held a knife. Uthnan pulled Dorian away from him and held the knife to his throat. She grinned savagely. “Did he do a bad thing, Toby? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it just like last time.”

Toby threw his hands out. “No!” His heart knocked painfully against his ribcage. He smoothed out his features. “No. It’s all right, Uthnan. Put the knife away, and I’ll explain everything.”

“That would be lovely,” Dorian said.

“Shut up, Dorian,” Toby said firmly. He held a hand out. “Can I have the knife?”

He realized that Cole was there too, wringing his hands in the corner. “I told her not to,” the compassion spirit babbled, “but she wouldn’t listen.”

Uthnan narrowed her eyes. “But I like this knife. Look how sharp it is.” She pricked Dorian’s throat to demonstrate.

“ _Uthnan._ ” His eyes turned to chips of stone. “The knife.”

Uthnan pouted and tossed it over her shoulder. “What in Andraste’s tits is going on?” Dorian sputtered.

“Now let the nice man go.” Uthnan sulked and pushed the Tevinter off the bed. He landed with a painful thump. “Dorian, get dressed and leave. Uthnan and I need to have a talk.” Dorian started to protest. Toby drew himself up and said in his First Enchanter voice, “Now.” Dorian left in a minute flat. He turned back to the Forgotten One and lifted an eyebrow.

She huffed at him. “I don’t get it. Last time I killed them just for you, because they hurt you. You don’t want me to protect you anymore? You’re my little mortal, aren’t you?”

Oh, god. She hadn’t called him that since he was a child. “You’re right,” he said softly. “You did kill them, and I will always thank you for that, but I don’t want you to kill Dorian.”

“But didn’t he have sex with you?”

“Yes, because I wanted him to.”

“I told you,” Cole whispered.

He held up a hand. “It’s okay, Cole. I know you did.” He took Uthnan’s hand. “We had sex with each other, because we wanted to. I like Dorian, please don’t hurt him. Thank you for trying to protect me.”

She puffed up at that. “Yeah! I did try to protect you because I’m a great person.” She pinched his cheeks. “And you’re my little mortal. Ooh! Cole, pinch his cheeks! They’re so squishy.”

“Are not.”

“Yes, they are. Squishy, squishy, squish.”

“Promise you won’t hurt him?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do I have to?”

“Yes, because this might happen again.” It probably wouldn’t. He’d be lucky if Dorian didn’t shriek and run at the sight of him after Uthnan had nearly flayed him alive.

She pouted at him. “Fine. I promise I won’t hurt Dorian.” Then she gasped and poked his chest. “You’ve got a bruise! Did you want that, too?”

He blushed and nodded. When Cole leaned forward to see, he sighed. Yep. This was his life now. It wasn’t even the craziest thing to happen this week. “Can I go now?”

Uthnan cocked her head to the side. “But sex is for making babies. Can two boys make babies?”

“No.”

“Then why try?” She gasped and leaned forward. “Does Dorian know he can’t make babies? Want me to tell him?”

“Please don’t. And we’re not trying to make babies.”

“Then why bother?”

Cole helpfully said, “It feels so good when he writhes against me. I want him so badly. Please, don’t let this end. When he-“

“Thank you, Cole. That was very helpful.”

Cole grinned. “I’m helping.”

Toby got dressed. “Okay, I really do have to go, though.” The two spirits followed him out the door, asking him very loud questions all the way down the hallway.

He was weaving his way through the main hall when Uthnan suddenly grabbed his arm and screeched, “If you’re having sex with Dorian, does that mean you won’t have any time for me?”

The nobles – seriously, where did they keep coming from? – tittered from behind their fans. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Laugh it up.” He dragged the two spirits into the rotunda. Solas set down his cup of tea and gave him an odd look. Anika waved cheerfully. Toby ignored the both of them. He closed the door and groaned. “Anyone not interested in overhearing me giving two spirits a sex talk should leave right now.”

Solas and Anika sat down on the couch. Anika elbowed the elf beside her and laughed silently. Solas sipped at his tea. “By all means, Inquisitor. Do, go on.”

Toby gave them a look. Uthnan giggled and clung to his arm. He groaned. “Yes, Uthnan. I’ll still have time for you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. Wouldn’t it be awful if you two were just having sex all day? You wouldn’t get any work done! How was it different from last time? Why do you want bruises? Are you sure two boys can’t make babies? Why do you need to make babies anyway? Why-“

He slapped a hand over her mouth. “Okay, okay, okay. One question at a time. Anyone want to help me out here?”

Solas looked as though he was trying very hard not to laugh. Anika didn’t even bother trying. The Bee pointed at him and howled with silent laughter. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, Dorian peered down at them from the rotunda. “She’s not still-“

“Dorian!” he should have expected this. “I have to tell a Forgotten One all about sex so she doesn’t go nuts, flay you alive and wear your skin like a cloak. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS?”

“I’ll be right down! Wait, wait, I have to get Varric for this.”

“Thanks,” he said dryly.

“And Sera. And definitely Bull.”

“Okay.”

“Solas, do you think Blackwall would be interested in this?”

Solas nodded very solemnly. “Be sure to enunciate so our spymaster can hear you clearly,” he said. Anika fell against him, tears of laughter streaming down her face.

Toby grimaced. “I hate all of you.”

After watching her new friend pull up a blackboard and lead them through what turned out to be an oddly in depth lecture on how babies were made, Anika decided that Skyhold (or wherever Toby was) would be her new vacation spot. Toby did his best to give a very dry lecture on the topic, and answered Uthnan’s questions with an unflinching accuracy that was truly heroic. She recorded the whole thing on her phone and sent it to the Dragon as soon as it was over.

Toby announced they were all children and left to train Elena, because she was more mature than all of them put together. Anika had actually learnt quite a bit about spirits from the lesson, so she was glad she’d stayed. She’d learned that spirits and people did not get along because they were so fundamentally different. Spirits were intentions made living, and people could not fully comprehend this. She learned that the god Solas knew everything about the members of the Inquisition, but did not see them as people. She learned that Toby was used to dealing with spirits of all types and that Solas and Dorian were endlessly fascinated by that. She learned that the others were afraid of him for the same reason, and could not quite put their finger on the reason they followed him so loyally.

There was so much the buzzing told her, but as a Bee and a Dragon Anika had learned to listen and watch and learn. The buzzing was pleased with this and told her so. She always heard the buzzing, of course, but it did not always say things to her. The honeybees that lived in the branches of the World Tree knew everything, but they found it difficult to put their thoughts into words she could understand.

Anika strolled through Skyhold, Nermegal at her heels. The god Solas followed her. She had found the cellars and was poking through the wine bottles when he stepped out of the shadows. Anika smiled politely at him and wondered if he was trying to be intimidating. He regarded her coolly. Finally he said, “It is fascinating to meet someone from another dimension. Toby claims you are a mage, but I sense no magic from you.” She smiled and nodded, pleased that he hadn’t wanted to shake her hand. She never had any idea what to do when that happened and always ended up staring intensely at the offered limb until it was awkwardly retracted.

She grabbed a random bottle and cracked it open. She sniffed it curiously. Nermegal portaled onto her shoulders to get a closer look. “Your pet is very interesting. Are such creatures common on your world?”

Anika stroked Nermie’s head while she thought. She’d found Nermegal huddled in a corner of the battlefield once she’d defeated Baron Samedi. She had no idea where he’d gotten a Filth-infected cat or why it was so friendly, but oh my god it was so cute! She shook her head. Definitely not common on her world.

“You’re not very talkative are you?” She shook her head and offered him some wine. His eye twitched. “No, thank you.”

Her next interesting conversation (such as it was) had been with the qunari Iron Bull. She had been drinking in the tavern and he’d plopped down next her with a grunt and a mug full of very strong booze. He’d offered her some and she’d downed the whole thing. It wasn’t that bad as far as booze went. He’d roared with laughter, clapped her on the back and pronounced them drinking buddies. “So,” he asked, “how are the reports coming along?”

This man must have been a spy. It seemed that the Inquisition was full of them. She had counted at least three different groups spying on Toby’s group and its movements. She smiled and nodded politely.

Iron Bull grinned at her and fished a sheaf of papers out of his bag. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Wow. He really wanted to know what she was saying to the Dragon. It was almost adorable. She shrugged and pulled out her phone. Anika took the papers from him and snapped pictures of his reports without bothering to read them. If they weren’t interested in the content itself, the Dragon would be interested in the paper or his handwriting. It was impossible to say what the Dragon actually wanted her to send them, so Anika had gotten into the habit of just emailing her handler random bits of information she’d come across. She hadn’t gotten any complaints so far!

Iron Bull grumbled a bit and motioned at her phone. “What’s that?” She handed it to him. He stared at it before sighing and giving it back. “I can’t read that. What does it say?” She smiled and nodded. He gave her an irritated look and walked away.

She strolled out of the tavern, pleased at her work so far. There was nothing like exploring a new dimension to put a spring in your step. Her phone buzzed and she checked her messages.

 

_From: The Dragon_

_To: Anika_

_Subject: Inquisition_

_Message: Check your bag._

 

She did. In her bag, stuffed into a pocket that she hadn’t noticed before, was another cellphone. She opened it up. Her contact information had already been entered into it. It showed a full five bars for internet connection, so the Dragon must have altered it somehow, just like they had hers. Cool. Now, what could she do with this?

After a moment’s thought, she found Toby. He was trying to explain some magical theory to his student when she snuck up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. To his credit, he didn’t jump. He only turned around. “Hey, Anika.”

She presented him with the cellphone. _:This is so you can contact me if you ever need to. Or just for fun.:_

He took it carefully and held it as though it might explode. “Great. Uh, thanks. How does it work?”

_:You turn it on and off like this. All you have to do is press this button here to call me. Try it.:_

He tapped the button and her phone rang. “Is it supposed to do that?”

She laughed silently and answered it. She motioned for him to talk. He startled when he heard his own voice coming from her phone. _:Want me to teach you how to text?:_

“Uh, sure?”

She grinned and started.

By the time she had finished that and returned to Transylvania – really there was so much work to do! – she had already received a congratulatory message from the Dragon.


	28. The Lord Seeker's Tome

The moment Dorian managed to corner him in the garden, Toby carefully adopted a blank expression. It felt stiffer than he would have liked. The Tevinter smiled. “Is your spirit always so protective?”

“She’s not my spirit. And yes.” He turned away and focused on keeping his features calm. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand completely. I hope you won’t leave the Inquisition. The Tranquil seem to like working alongside you.” It was okay. He would be alright after Dorian left. He needed to focus on leading the Inquisition anyways. He tried very hard not to think of what Skyhold would be like without his lover. He cursed quietly under his breath at that thought.

“And why should I leave?” Dorian said from behind him. “I’d hate to disappoint the Tranquil.”

“Tranquil don’t feel disappointed,” Toby found himself saying.

Dorian stepped in front of him. “What happened between us doesn’t have to happen anymore. Not unless you want it to.” There was an odd catch in his voice that he did not want to decipher.

He narrowed his eyes. The fact that Dorian was even talking to him was incredible. The idea that there could be anything between them was too good to be true. “You wouldn’t care either way.”

Dorian stepped forward. “No!” He grabbed his hand, and Toby reflexively yanked it away. Dorian flinched slightly and fell back. “No, I… It’s up to you.”

Toby smoothed out his features, and smiled pleasantly. “If you aren’t willing to fight for what you want, you obviously don’t want it that badly.”

He tried to walk away, but Dorian twined an arm around his waist and yanked him close. Toby tried to shut down his body’s reaction to the sudden press of flesh. Dorian’s lips brushed the shell of his ear, and this proved impossible. “Does it feel like I don’t want you?” Dorian pressed him against a pillar. Toby’s breath caught in his throat at the feel of rough stone at his back and this impossible, frustrating man shifting expertly against him.

He closed his eyes as though that would help him focus. It didn’t. He had no way to fight against this. And he had to. Dorian could be as manipulative as any templar when he wanted to be. They were alike in that way. “Talk to me, please,” he whispered.

The Tevinter nipped at his neck. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.” Frustratingly, thankfully, the man stilled against him. “I can’t do this unless you care about me. It hurts too much.”

Dorian sighed quietly and rested his head on Toby’s shoulder. “You’re relentless.” His grip loosened slightly. “I want this more than I should. I… care about you.”

Toby groaned in relief. “Thank the Maker.” Dorian’s lips slanted over his, and he could say nothing more.

* * *

 

Toby had moved through his day in a seemingly half-daze. Every now and then the thought that Dorian cared for him skittered into his thoughts. He’d find himself shaking his head bemusedly and filing that away. It seemed impossible. It wasn’t. He had gone mad. Again.

When Cassandra stated her latest request, it broke that daze. “The Seekers. You’re worried about Seekers.” He gestured at the space between them. “All of this. Cracks opening in reality. People torn away from their families. And you’re worried about Seekers.”

She twisted her hands, a nervous gesture that he’d never seen her display before. “They’re missing.”

He couldn’t help but sigh. “I don’t like Seekers. Never have.” Cassandra made a disgruntled sound. “Well you hardly count, Cassandra. Last I knew, you weren’t a total asshole.” He shrugged. “Fine, then. We’ll go hunt down your missing Seekers. Who knows, maybe you’ll rub off on them.”

She nodded seriously. And that was where the trouble began.

He ended up trailing after Cassandra in the Seeker’s fortress, Varric and Sera at his side. He had refused to let any of the mages cone along. Seekers were worse than templars, if that was even possible.

When Cassandra cradled her dying apprentice and the man told them of how the lord Seeker had betrayed them all by force feeding them red lyrium – seriously, why did people think hanging around red lyrium was a good idea? – he knew that it was completely possible. It was refreshing in a way to know that the Seekers really were monsters. At least some things would never change.

His mind had been oddly blank when he’d killed the lord Seeker. Naturally, he’d been babbling about his stupid apocalypse cult the whole time. It hardly mattered in the end. He could think of nothing comforting to say to Cassandra on the way back.

* * *

 

His knuckles were white. He clenched them harder. “The Seekers know how to reverse Tranquility.”

Cassandra sighed and slid the book towards him. She pointed at a passage. “It’s a ritual that was created to…”

Her voice did not trail off. She kept talking. Surely the Seeker kept talking. Toby couldn’t hear a word. His nails drew blood, and he only clenched his fists tighter when he felt the pinpricks of pain. “We can reverse Tranquility.”

Cassandra looked at him, seemingly lost. “Inquisitor?”

“How many Tranquil do we have in our ranks?”

The Seekers brow furrowed, and then her mouth opened in a soft, shocked O. “Inquisitor. You don’t mean…”

“We start now.”

Cassandra eased the book away “Inquisitor, you cannot be serious. They would go mad, all of them. When a Seeker’s Tranquility is lifted, it is still new. They are only Tranquil for a moment. To be Tranquil for years and have that lifted.” She shook her head. “It would be too much for them. We cannot do this. Can you imagine the panic it would cause?”

“Panic?” His voice was pleasant. “Well, I’d hate to worry anyone. Tranquility can’t be that bad, after all. I’m sure they’re okay with being cut off from the Fade and not being able to fully experience the world around them.”

She shifted uneasily. “I would not go that fa-“

He spread his hands. “In fact, I think we should make more Tranquil. Show those mages who’s boss. Why stop at mages? Let’s just turn random people Tranquil. When their families ask us why we’re doing it, you can just tell them that you could undo it but you’d rather not worry anyone.”

 Her voice turned hard. “That’s not fair. I did not say that.”

He laughed. “Fair? What does fair have to do with anything? Mages have been turned Tranquil for years to prevent them being possessed. Turns out it doesn’t even work. Just makes them an unappealing target.”

“Inquisitor.”

“No, no. We’ll hide it. We’ll sit and watch people suffer. We’ll let hundreds of mages be turned Tranquil every day. We’ll do what you suggest. Nothing. After all, what do I know about all this? I’m only a First Enchanter.” He pushed himself away from the table. “Congratulations, Cassandra. You really are a Seeker.”

She shot up, chair clattering to the floor. Toby shrugged at her and turned to leave. Her hands punched onto the table. “You think I do not care? We do not know if we can safely undo Tranquility. We need to learn more before we-“

The door slammed shut on her words. Uthnan appeared at his heels. She giggled and clapped her hands together. “Ooh, are we mad at someone?” He grunted. She skipped after him. “I know that look. Someone’s going to be very sorry, aren’t they? Who is it? Tell me! Please?”

He huffed. “Cassandra. The Seekers. The Templars. The world. I don’t know.” He stopped and she nearly bumped into him. “Did you know that the Tranquil can be cured? All you have to do is get a spirit to touch them. Just.” He held up a finger. “Touch their minds. These people… and Cassandra doesn’t give a damn. I was right all along. The Seekers really are worse than the Templars. This has been happening for years and they just let it.”

“Well, that’s not very nice.” Uthnan’s smile turned sharp.

“For years, they just…. Do you know how many I turned Tranquil?” She shook her head. Toby looked at the blood seeping from his palm. Staining his skin. “I never kept count. I could never bear to keep count.” Angry tears pricked at his lashes. He had to drag air into his lungs. He fisted his hands. Blood dripped out from beneath his nails. “Never again.” He met Uthnan’s eyes and grinned at the excitement he saw there. “Never again.”

She linked arms with him and pulled him forward. “And all we have to do is touch?”

Toby nodded. “Connect them back to the Fade and they’ll be healed. How many Tranquil do we have in our ranks?”

Uthnan paused a moment. A claw that had not been there before tapped at her chin. Her lips curled away from a mouthful of needle-sharp fangs. “I’m going to need a little help.” She released his arm and crouched down. She traced a line in the dirt. “A lot of help.”

Toby’s heart pounded in his ears. He sucked in a breath. “Better get started then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It always struck me as odd that we can't choose to help undo Tranquility. I really hope this is tackled in the next Dragon Age game. It better be!


	29. Honestly, What Did You Expect To Happen?

An odd sound startled Dorian from his book. Something was groaning. Was it groaning? It sounded like some sort of beast about to be very, very sick. He jumped up at the unmistakable sound of books being swept off shelves. Cries of shock and confusion lanced through the air, and as soon as he left his alcove he saw why.

Helisma lay crumpled on the floor, books scattered about her. He ran to her side. The Tranquil must have grabbed at them when she’d fallen. He’d barely made it halfway there when she lifted her head and _growled_.

A templar rushed into the library, shield thrust before him. “Get back,” he shouted.

The tranquil pointed at the templar and _screamed_. She knocked Dorian aside as she lunged at the armoured man. Dorian grabbed at her, and she slammed her head backwards. He reeled away, clutching at a broken nose. Helisma threw herself at the templar screaming incoherently. The templar bumped her lightly with his shield, but she only clung to it and hissed furiously.

Shouts, crashing and screams rang out from above him. He heard Leliana yelling something. Dorian ran to the nearest window, desperately clamping down on his confusion. In the training yard, a soldier was being chased by a group of tranquil. They pounced on him like a group of rabid dogs and dragged him to the ground.

Solas thundered up the stairs, staff held firmly. With a swirl of magic, he’d frozen Helisma’s feet to the ground. She shrieked and clawed at the ice as though she could peel it off. Dorian was transfixed. Horrified. The tranquil doubled over and bit at her legs. She drew blood. She was going to chew herself free if she had to. Dorian stretched a hand out. Solas grabbed it and yanked him away.

“What’s happening?” Dorian asked. His voice pitched high and nervous.

Solas locked eyes with him. “We need you. _Now._ The Tranquil have gone mad.”

“What? How many?”

“All of them.”

Solas tugged him away. Dragged him down the stairs. “You’re not making any sense.” They dodged around a tranquil swinging his arms around wildly. Solas dragged him outside and pointed at the only person who could have possibly done this. The only person who could be found looking around in grim satisfaction. Dorian’s stomach flipped.

Toby stood by the training ring as though he’d been planted there. Uthnan danced about him, wild with glee. The Forgotten One cackled maniacally. Toby looked about at the chaos as though it was completely normal. He nodded thoughtfully as though the Tranquil all going mad for no reason made perfect sense. Languidly, he coiled an arm up and a stream of magic spiraled into the air. For a blinding moment, it shone brightly as a flare, illuminating all of Skyhold. Dorian hissed and shielded his eyes. That light might have drowned out the sun.

An eerie calm settled over Skyhold. As one, the Tranquil in the courtyard sighed peacefully. It sent shivers up his spine. The Tranquil walked towards Toby. Solas nudged him. He shot the elf a bewildered look. Solas gestured towards Toby. “Ask him what he’s doing.”

“Me? Why me?”

Solas gave him a look. “Because he trusts you. If he’s going to tell anyone about what in the void this is, it will be you.”

Right. Of course.

* * *

 

Toby nodded dumbly. It could have been worse. It really, really could have been worse. He might have felt better about things if Uthnan hadn’t been rolling at his feet cackling wildly. The Tranquil drifted towards him and stared at him with an unnerving intensity. He did his best to give them a reassuring smile.

They were still coming. Tranquil walked out of nearby buildings in a steady line towards him. Soldiers, recruits and Orlesian nobles followed them at a careful distance, mouths open in horrified fascination. The courtyard was silent. He wanted to scream.

“As nice as this is, it’s very confusing.” He looked up at Dorian. Somehow the Tevinter had found him. He shifted uneasily.

Toby shrugged. “It’s a mystery, all right.”

A door slammed open. He jumped at the sound. Cassandra shoved a few Tranquil aside to get to him. “Inquisitor,” she roared. “ _What did you do?_ ”

Toby cocked his head. “Stuff.”

One of the Tranquil ducked towards him and collapsed. Toby froze. Clemence groveled at his feet and grabbed at the hem of his robes. He tried to ease away, but Clemence’s grip tightened. Toby sighed. He’d only rip his clothes that way.

Cassandra shrieked. “I told you the ritual needed to be refined. I told you! You can’t just-“

“Ritual?” Dorian said. “What in Thedas are-“

“In case it’s not clear,” Toby announced, “You can undo Tranquility. In fact, The Seekers have known this all these years. Cassandra and I had a nice talk about it, and had a little disagreement. She wanted to wait. I didn’t.” He gestured at the Tranquil surrounding him. “So I cured them.”

Clemence raised himself up to his knees, flung his hands into the air and howled, “ALL HAIL THE MAD GOD!”

Toby coughed. “Also that. Apparently.”

“FOR HE HAS FREED US FROM OUR SLEEP. ALL HAIL.”

“All hail!” The Tranquil roared.

Toby grimaced. “Okay, I really wasn’t expecting that.” Dorian sighed. Cassandra screamed in frustration and stormed off, shouting curses.

The veins on Clemence’s neck strained. “PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM!” The Tranquil roared their approval. Toby sighed. Just his luck, really. Some of them mimicked his old friend’s hailing-the-sky-with-clawlike-hands pose, others made odd jerky movements that might have been dancing and might have been an attempt to shake off invisible insects, and others just threw their heads back and wailed in a mad religious ecstasy.

“Apparently,” Toby yelled above the uproar, “I have accidently started a cult. Sorry about that.” He poked Dorian in the ribs. The Tevinter yelped and jumped away from him. “You can explain this to the others, right? I’m gonna take these guys a bit down the mountain and try to explain to them that I’m not a god and they really shouldn’t be worshipping me. Life, huh?”

Dorian stared at him, mouth gaping. “Are you serious?”

Toby smiled and brushed his lips against his lovers. “Yep. I’ll back soon.”

“ON YOUR KNEES. FOR WE ARE UNWORTHY DOGS IN THE MAD GODS SHADOW.”

“Maybe a few hours,” Toby amended. “Just follow me, okay?” He called out to the Tranquil.

“PRAISE HIM.”

He patted Clemence’ shoulder. “I know,” he said soothingly. “I know.”


End file.
